Bob doesn't love me anymore!

Discussion in 'Labrador Chat' started by Loopyloo30, Dec 21, 2016.

  1. Loopyloo30

    Loopyloo30 Registered Users

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    Bob adores Jake (my step son) it used to bother me when he came to visit because Bob would be all over him and follow him round the house etc etc. But I got over it because he didn't visit that often. And I'd be his no 1 for the rest of the time.

    So Jake has now moved in and Bob just doesn't have eyes for me anymore. I bloody walk him, feed him do everything for him. But I'm no longer his no 1.

    You might think I'm being silly and probably I am. But I miss my boy following me around the house. Watching my every move. He's MY flippin dog!

    Everyone thinks I'm being silly but I honestly feel really hurt!
     
  2. Snowshoe

    Snowshoe Registered Users

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    How old is Jake? Is he the little boy in your avatar? That doesn't seem like such a bad thing but I think if my Mum had moved in and our dogs had followed her around constantly, as they only got a chance to do on visits, I think I'd be a wee bit miffed too. Heck, Mum didn't even carry treats and I did.
     
  3. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I don't have an answer. My brother lives with us three days a week and, when he's home, Tatze only has eyes for him :rolleyes:


    ...
     
  4. Loopyloo30

    Loopyloo30 Registered Users

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    Jake is 24. Thats my son in the avatar photo who is 6. It seems so petty but I've invested so much time in this dog it sucks that someone can just waltz in take over like this.
     
  5. Rosie

    Rosie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    The thing about dogs is, they're painfully honest. They don't know how to lie. So if Pongo really finds my OH much more fascinating and fun than me, he's not going to pretend not to just to save my feelings.

    After three years, I've learned to enjoy watching them playing and laugh at it all, and to savour the times when the big lummox comes to put his head on my knee because I KNOW THAT PLACE BEHIND HIS EARS THAT NEEDS RUBBING and my OH doesn't. It doesn't happen often but it's all the more precious when it does.... because of course he is not doing it to make me feel good, he really is doing it because he wants to be with ME. Even if only for a few minutes....

    I don't think you're being silly, I know that feeling sooooo well. But it isn't that Bob doesn't love you, it's just that Jake is (for whatever reason) totally fascinating. (A bit like fox poo. But don't tell Jake I said that.)
     
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  6. JenBainbridge

    JenBainbridge Registered Users

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    Stanley loves OH way more than me. I had dreams of my best friend and me hanging out, but no, it's allllll about OH.

    It makes me sad and I used to try and bribe him to like me better - to no avail.

    BUT - when the wind was blowing and Stanley sat on top of me, gruffing to "protect" me. Or when he hurt his paw and the only person he wanted was me, I was happy with that.

    OH might be his best friend - but I'm his Mam. And that's much better :)
     
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  7. edzbird

    edzbird Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I like this...I really like this because I get how you're feeling. Like Rosie & Jen, Coco seems to prefer OH. I walk him & train him daily. I feel a bond when we're walking, but as soon as OH is there, Coco wants him. They snuggle & lie on the floor which I rarely do.
     
  8. Emily_BabbelHund

    Emily_BabbelHund Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I don't think you're being silly at all. I think I would feel the same way! We all want our dogs to love us best. And he does STILL love you best, but he's rather infatuated with Jake for the moment for whatever reason.

    No brilliant suggestions from my side, just sympathy. :hug:
     
  9. Helen

    Helen Registered Users

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    Treat it like a new toy, when Buster has a new toy he takes it every where it's the first thing he picks up.
    I have this at the moment but not with my dog (thankfully) but my son, he would rather be with his girlfriend, but I'm like hang on a minute I brought him up, raised him, and all that and he listens to some girl rather than me.
     
  10. Snowshoe

    Snowshoe Registered Users

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    Oh. Ok, then, can you identify any specific things that cause Bob to follow Jake? Like, does Jake slip him food? My dog will follow my OH around as long as he things there might be food to be had as I am the scrooge who never shares (and thus seems to have the well behaved dog) OR, all my dogs have looked to me first for a walk.

    Then there was the time I said our Rally trainer could not use Oban to show off a move because for the rest of the class he would have focused only on her. She doesn't live with us though.
     
  11. JulieT

    JulieT Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Yup, it's the way it is. :)

    You can train Bob to focus on you whoever maybe around if you wanted to do so. And don't say you don't want to have to train him, because you want him to do it because he loves you. Everything they do reliably is trained one way or another even if we don't deliberately train them.

    Susan Garrett has a module on this very point in her online course - I can't cut and paste from it, because it's all paid for content.

    In a nutshell though, she would say it doesn't much matter why Bob is following Jake around instead of you. But you can change this if you want. You need to be very consistent with Bob reinforcing him for engagement with you until he tunes out other people in his focus on you. If you want to do that, of course.
     
  12. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    I don't think you are being silly Louise, but when Jake isn't around you are his number 1, so really enjoy those time to do some little extra training things with extra tasty treats, it might do the trick. :)

    I am Hattie's number 1, no matter who walks in the door she greets them in her usual enthusiastic way but if I go out she is often found sitting in the window or in good weather sat outside at the gate waiting/watching for me to return. There is so much excitement when I get back, I LOVE IT :tail::tail::tail:. I enjoy it a lot because nobody else reacts this way on my return! :D x

    Charlie follows me around during the day but is pretty much anyones dog so long as they love and cuddle him he's theirs :inlove: x
     
  13. MF

    MF Registered Users

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    My husband says he knows exactly how you feel and you have his sympathies!
     

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