A retired man in our Village had a gorgeous Golden Retriever called Teddy, 6 years old that he has had from 6 months old. I saw Mike out walking minus Teddy last week, I stopped for a chat and he told me he had given Teddy to the Dogs Trust, as he had to go into hospital and didn't have anyone to take care of Teddy. He told to tell me that he had always thought Teddy should be with a family and subsequently he was rescued by a family who had teenage children, so hopefully he will be trained . Teddy was never let off lead as the first time he was he ran off and Mike never let him off again so he remained on a 6 ft length of rope, he also was shocking on lead pulling and lunging terribly, but he was a truly lovely boy. Unfortunately Mike never even attempted to train him My issue is this, Mike continued to tell me that he was going to rescue another dog as it turned out he doesn't have to go into hospital and wants another dog as he misses Teddy. I find this shocking, he gave Teddy away under the pretence of going into hospital when really I think it was Teddy's behaviour he couldn't handle any more. Do you think he should be allowed to rescue another dog? I am struggling with this and had to make my excuses to continue with my walk and I have to say I felt very upset :'( Am I being over sensitive, what do you think? Thanks xxx
Re: Your thoughts please If giving Teddy to the rescue centre because of his behaviour I would totally be in agreement with you. To give up a dog because you are going into hospital is a difficult one. I can understand why some people do this as health can change quickly, but looking at rescuing another dog just because of not being admitted to hospital this time could be a recipe for disaster!! How does he know his health won't change again or get worse....what would happen to the dog then??? I totally understand why you found this difficult because I would too. As for not training Teddy.........that is so unfair. It doesn't sound like he gave Teddy the love and attention he needed ;(
Re: Your thoughts please I think this is terribly difficult and understand your concerns Helen. I know people who put their own health at risk because they feel no-one can look after their pets if they need hospital treatment. Mike might not have had the knowledge and skill to train Teddy properly, but lets face it, Mike isn't the only one who struggles with training issues - we are lucky to have the ability to go find help and support. You say yourself that Teddy is a lovely dog, and who is to say that apart from the lead training and recall that Teddy hasn't been perfectly well cared for. Mike might have felt re-homing really was his only option at the time, but now regrets giving up his companion and could be feeling very lonely and isolated as a result. Its quite possible he may not be telling you the whole story behind his decision - maybe embarrassment or guilt about his decision would be involved in this too. Perhaps he would be perfect to take on an elderly and or smaller dog, and assuming that the shelter is responsible in finding the right home, and Mike honest about his needs (and concerns) this could be an appropriate solution. I have a degree of sympathy for Mike here. He may be feeling he has made an awful decision. I (professionally) worry a lot about people who give up up their pets and feel that mental health issues can both be the cause and the result of such ddecisions. My inclination would be to keep a careful eye on Mike to make sure he is okay.
Re: Your thoughts please hhmmm... dunno. Jac's post made me think... Yes, maybe give him a hug, a copy of total recall, the card of your excellent dog trainer, and best wishes for his next dog.
Re: Your thoughts please Mike repeatedly said that he felt Teddy needed a family and that's why he gave him up and also he expected to go into hospital to have his heart stopped and re-started so I don't believe there to be any mental health issues. I suggested an older dog but he wants to get another Retriever puppy of about 6 months old - again, I can't help feeling he will make a rash decision. He loved Teddy very much and he was well cared for but reading between the lines it was Teddy's behaviour that prompted the re-homing, although I could be wrong. I just feel if he has any health concerns he really shouldn't be taking on another young dog, but he will. I do keep an eye on him and chat and walk with him, so hopefully I will know if there is anything wrong. I really don't want to see him get into another situation and get a dog he can't handle and I would worry for the dog too Thanks Jac x
Re: Your thoughts please [quote author=JulieT link=topic=4940.msg61789#msg61789 date=1395179758] hhmmm... dunno. Jac's post made me think... Yes, maybe give him a hug, a copy of total recall, the card of your excellent dog trainer, and best wishes for his next dog. [/quote] I offered him help and said we could train Teddy in the paddock with Charlie, not interested. I suggested going to trainers - not interested
Re: Your thoughts please Hmm....does sound more like he was just at the end of his tether behaviour-wise, I have to say. Sounds like he has AF or another heart irregularity, and the treatment he would have needed would probably have just been a day-case, or overnight if he was more frail. Oh dear Helen, it sounds like you have done your best. Apologies for making assumptions here. I guess we will just need to put our faith in the rescue finding an appropriate dog for him then. I would still lend him your Total Recall (maybe whether he wants it or not) x
Re: Your thoughts please Jac, no apologies needed at all, I appreciate your thoughts and advise I am keeping everything crossed too and might just offer to go to the Rescue Centre with him for a little moral support and help in choosing, not that I did a great job myself with Charlie - oh on second thoughts maybe I should stay at home : x
Re: Your thoughts please [quote author=charlie link=topic=4940.msg61807#msg61807 date=1395180826] I am keeping everything crossed too and might just offer to go to the Rescue Centre with him for a little moral support and help in choosing, not that I did a great job myself with Charlie - oh on second thoughts maybe I should stay at home : x [/quote] ;D ;D You got loads of experience along the way - invaluable!
Re: Your thoughts please A tough call Helen , I can understand how you feel , totally . To be honest , a six month old puppy would be about the worst choice he could make unless he is 100% committed to training , which clearly he isnt . There are often sad circumstances surround the giving up of a dog , we had to return Poppy to the RSPCA when it became apparant that she was not timid , she was downright aggressive and terrified Sam but I felt justified because they had mislead us , even so we boh felt shocking, guilty and so very sad indeed . It sounds like this gentleman needs some guidance Helen , and you might just be the person to offer it as you have worked so hard and tirelessly with Charlie , if your help is refused, then so be it, but you will have tried and thats what counts x
Re: Your thoughts please Unfortunately / fortunately which ever way you take it, I met someone in, what appears to be, the same situation, but he was very honest. He had a Collie from a pup and had struggled with it for an age. It pulled like a freight train and ran off when ever he could. But, he was otherwise well cared for; fed, sheltered, watered and most importantly, loved (ish). When this guy’s health deteriorated he had to go into hospital and said very openly, that he now has the perfect excuse to re-home his dog and let some family with more time and patience train and look after him. Could be the reason here he just needed the excuse. By the way he did go into hospital and didn't get another dog though.
Re: Your thoughts please I read this yesterday, Helen, and decided I couldn't add anything to it. I have just come back in from our morning walk however, during which I met a very old boy and his elderly black lab cross. She was on a lead, and she was not a friendly dog. It was clear that he would have not trusted her off-lead at all... but, here he was, out in the middle of nowhere, plodding along slowly, without his dentures and in his shabby old coat... and it struck me very forcibly that, without his dog, a large chunk of his day would be empty. In fact, I thought that if he lost his dog, he probably wouldn't hang around for much longer either... Mike may not have been a model owner, but I'm very definitely with Jac - the impact on Mike's wellbeing of having given up Teddy will be huge; and I also think that Kate's point about the guilt and shame of having given Teddy up will come into play. It sounds as if his much repeated opinion that Teddy needs to be with a family is trying to convince himself as much as anyone else. So I'd be tempted to keep a watch on his well-being, and accept that without another dog, he has a huge void in his life, even if you cannot convert him into a model owner! Clare
Re: Your thoughts please Both of my personalities see this differently. The good vicar's daughter thinks the poor chap has done his best. The gritty biker-type thinks he should not get another dog and risk going through the same again. I've yet to find out which one of me will have the final decision
Re: Your thoughts please [quote author=MadMudMob link=topic=4940.msg61905#msg61905 date=1395228696] Both of my personalities see this differently. The good vicar's daughter thinks the poor chap has done his best. The gritty biker-type thinks he should not get another dog and risk going through the same again. I've yet to find out which one of me will have the final decision [/quote] there are definitely two sides to this and probably no right answer..... ......perhaps a different type of dog would be the best solution if Mike can be persuaded. Roll out your best Charlie horror stories Helen and get him to have a nice quiet older dog that just needs some love.
Re: Your thoughts please I think I tend to agree with Jac on this one. There are many, many dogs who live in situations that are not ideal.....and honestly, someone from the outside could look at MY dog and say that was the case. I could do much more training with him, he hasn't had an off-lead walk in MONTHS, etc....so I hesitate to say that dogs can only be with owners who do everything we think they should. Should this man train the dog he has? Yes. Was it wrong for him to give up the dog because he couldn't deal with the behaviour? Well, yes/no. Should he get another puppy thinking he is not going to train it? No. But did he love the dog he had and care for it to the best of his ability? Well, probably, at least as far as we can tell from Helen's description. I dunno. It's a tricky one for sure. I think if you just keep on with the training mantra (take him to a puppy class or two?) maybe he will realize how much more he can get out of his relationship with his dog.
Re: Your thoughts please I think I must be living on a different planet. Here we have a person who is 65+ years, in poor health, has recently given up ownership of a dog after 6 years during which he was unable to either train the dog or let it off the lead and now wants to own another rescue dog! For me the advice is obvious but were I to give it fear I would be accused of both offending that individual and denying him ownership of a dog in old age. The welfare of the dog is paramount and I would be surprised if the Rescue Centre after vetting the individual, considered him a suitable candidate to own another dog. Roger
Re: Your thoughts please [quote author=Karen link=topic=4940.msg62140#msg62140 date=1395306482] Sounds to me like he would be a good candidate for an older, calm dog. [/quote] I totally agree Karen, an older dog that is chilled out and just needs some company and a potter round might be ideal and if the rescue would stay in touch and perhaps help out if he needs to get the dog to a vet or if either of them become unwell (over and above the usual stuff) that would cover emergencies.
Re: Your thoughts please The Oldies Club often have dogs which , as their name indicates , are older and just need a home, no long walks but someone to care for them in their twilight years .
Re: Your thoughts please [quote author=kateincornwall link=topic=4940.msg62183#msg62183 date=1395314303] The Oldies Club often have dogs which , as their name indicates , are older and just need a home, no long walks but someone to care for them in their twilight years . [/quote] Suggested this to Mike he was not interested as he wants a young puppy I am sure there is anything else I can do Thanks for your suggestions x
