Dogs and Children

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by lorilou61, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. lorilou61

    lorilou61 Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 13, 2014
    Messages:
    363
    Location:
    Indiana USA
    I'm going to venture out here on what is probably a completely politically incorrect course, but I really am curious as to whether it's just me or are people just ridiculously over protective about their children when it comes to dogs.
    Now I'm not talking about reasonable common sense type issues, like teaching kids not to rush up to strange dogs. Nor am I talking about allowing dogs to be bullies and poorly trained beasts. But I see more and more children who are just terrified of dogs, shrieking and clinging to adults. Adults hovering over them and reassuring them they won't let the dog get them. And the dog is quite frankly just going along minding its own business.
    We've been at gatherings where the mere act of Edsel entering a room has sent children running and screaming in terror. Which of course then excites him into thinking they just want to play. He slowly and calmly walked by a young girl once and delivered what I term the " drive by kiss" with a wet slurp to her cheek and just kept moving and you would have thought he had bitten her head off.
    I don't think people are doing any service by allowing children to be overly fearful, engage in behaviors and reactions that honestly only serve to excite the dog and teaching them that all dogs are vicious creatures.
    I have honestly gotten to the point that I will not remove Edsel from situations if he is behaving well and going about his business just because of an over reactive child and parent. I simply wait for them to remove themselves. And people are told that if they come to my home, these are the behaviors that are expected and will serve them well in ensuring a pleasant visit. My 3 young grandsons spent months entering the house and walking through it with their backs to Edsel while we were working on the jumpy months. They survived quite well.
    I guess I'm trying to figure out where the problem lies at times. Is it the dog's behavior? Or the human?
    Am I being unreasonable? I understand that's quite possible because I truly do enjoy the company of my pup over most people.
     
  2. Snowshoe

    Snowshoe Registered Users

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    2,546
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    I don't know about all children but with my niece I'm sure her father was the culprit. When she was a toddler I think it was normal, even maybe a bit good, to be leery of dogs, especially big ones. But he encouraged her to be afraid, I think so he could play big, strong Daddy protecting his little girl. I could have killed him the day he told her our gentle little English Springer Spaniel would eat her. Her fear got pretty bad, my sister had to carry a 7 year old who refused to walk by a house with a dog home a couple of times.

    She did get over it, Sis got a dog (a puppy from a pet store :() but it cured my niece to the extent she actually began to like dogs.

    The kids with no fear are just as bad. I had two run up and throw their arms around our ESS. Both parents apologized profusely and I learned not to trust any kid I didn't know. ON the other hand, on walks I am proactive in getting the dog at heel, and if they are bicycles in a down, as kids come along. Parents who don't know me and my dog are right to be leery of me too, I think.
     
  3. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    6,924
    Location:
    Malvern UK
    I think it is the humans!
     
    Saba's Boss likes this.
  4. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2013
    Messages:
    20,186
    I have agree with you. I grew up in a rural community where everyone had dogs. Kids knew how to behave around dogs, and weren't scared of them. I very much agree that socialising children to dogs is really a must do.

    I live in London for most of the year, and I despair of some kids I meet in the park. I've had some horrible encounters where my dog has just been what he is - a friendly, family Labrador - and children and parents have had hysterics. I keep my dogs away from all children now in London - apart from the ones that run up and fling themselves in Charlie's face, hanging off his ears and pulling his tail :rolleyes:. Lucky them, he would never hurt them no matter what they did.

    I had the most bizarre experience the other week in London. I was walking Charlie down a wide pavement, and 3 mothers with children were walking towards me. Charlie was minding his own business, peeing on lampposts and sniffing along. These three women stopped and GLARED at me. I was taken aback, I looked behind me - nothing. In the end I said can I help you? One of them said your dog is on too long a lead, he could get to the children. I just laughed, and walked on by, Charlie couldn't give a fig about their kids, when there were lampposts to attend to.

    I find it a lot better in Cornwall where I live for the rest of the year. I go to a large dog walking beach and meet lots of kids out and about with the family dog. They are absolutely cool with dogs, and I've never had a problem.
     
  5. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    6,924
    Location:
    Malvern UK
    I found Devon very dog friendly, totally different attitude.
     
  6. Granca

    Granca Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2014
    Messages:
    2,777
    What a pity Charlie didn't mistake the children for lampposts!
     
    snowbunny, drjs@5, JulieT and 2 others like this.
  7. bbrown

    bbrown Moderator Forum Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2011
    Messages:
    9,435
    I think up to about 5 you can expect kids to be a bit unpredictable and both they and the dogs should be carefully supervised. Lizzie is 4 now and still prone to embrace with a death grip every now and then but I reckon I'll have her trained by 5 ;)
     
  8. Ski-Patroller

    Ski-Patroller Cooper, Terminally Cute

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2016
    Messages:
    1,724
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon & Mt Hood Oregon
    I notice that in cultures where dogs are not common, or at least not as pets, the children, and parents, are likely to be more afraid of dogs.

    I have one good friend who does not particularly like being around dogs, mostly because she is allergic to them. Her, now teenage, son reacts with visible discomfort around dogs. He is better now as he has gotten older, but when he was younger, he would go sit in the car to get away from Tilly, who was basically very well behaved and would ignore him. While I don't think is parents encouraged this behavior, they did not try very hard to help him get over it either. Incidentally my friend was a child, her mom raised Dachshunds for the show ring, so she was around dogs a lot. Mostly she likes them, just doesn't want to touch them. It seems to me that being afraid of dogs in general makes life a little more difficult in our society.

    When Tilly and now Cooper were pups, they could be a little too much around small kids, just a little to rambunctious. All three of our labs would tolerate almost any behavior from kids, or anyone else. If they did not like what was happening they would try to leave, but would not bite.
     
  9. Edp

    Edp Registered Users

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2014
    Messages:
    1,360
    I think it really does depend where you live. Here in the Yorkshire Dales dogs are part of our family lives. Most families have one...you do get the odd kid that does not like them usually due to a bad experience or over protecting parent but that's not the norm. My boys are 8 and the majority of their class mates have dogs. Here most families seek the benefits of having children and dogs grow up together
     
  10. Xena Dog Princess

    Xena Dog Princess Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2016
    Messages:
    2,261
    Location:
    Wellington, New Zealand
    I find kids who are scared of domestic animals very tiring. It's always down to bad parenting (or perhaps a bad experience as a child, but then it's your job as a parent to help the child through that). My 5 year old niece is one of them - cats, dogs, my chickens - terrified. But she's one of those super sensitive kids who just finds life in general difficult, so I shouldn't be surprised about the fear of animals.

    Now I have met a couple of adults who proudly proclaim that they are terrified of...cats. I don't think they realise how ridiculous that looks to other adults!
     
    edzbird and lorilou61 like this.
  11. lorilou61

    lorilou61 Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 13, 2014
    Messages:
    363
    Location:
    Indiana USA
    Tiring is the perfect word! I used to scuttle Edsel away from them or try to explain that he is harmless and won't bother them so as to not upset their little sensitive selves, but I have come to the conclusion that he is quite often behaving better than many of the children and we're not leaving anymore!
     
  12. Millieboo

    Millieboo Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2016
    Messages:
    167
    Location:
    USA pa
    My sister which is 19 years younger then I am is raised to love all animals. But she is terrified of dogs, small ones as big ones. We can't figure out why and she never had a bad experience as we can recall, my mom been so confused about this (my sister is 9 now). Ever since she been small and talking she been saying the dogs looks mean with their big teeth, I even had a incident when I was gonna go with my sister to my friends place that had a chihuahua (wanted to introduce a small really nice dog). My sister was 6 and I told her we were gonna go see a dog and even showed her pictures before. When we got there she panic and I couldn't get contact with her she just screamed and cried it was gonna bite her (we didn't even get to enter the house,she saw him through the window). So we went home, I didn't want to force it on her since she was so terrified and I got so scared seeing her like that. At least now she can see dogs but she don't want to go too close to them, getting there..
     
  13. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    15,785
    Location:
    Andorra and Spain
    My two are scared of kids, and I try to protect them as much as possible, while working on their fears. My nightmare is a screaming, flapping child in their face. I've had young children run up to them and bark in their faces, whilst I've been clearly "talking them down". Parents can be so unaware at times.
    On the other hand, they can be absolutely brilliant. There's a kid I love to see, who is absolutely rock solid. W&S are still cautious of him, but I can sense their mood and ask the parents to just keep going by, or stop while I work on calming. If the kid wants to approach and the dog I have with me is relaxed, I can instruct the dad on how to go about it. I'll say that the dog might bark (and what to do if this happens), but instead of flapping that his child might be traumatised, he says "No problem, <kid> has to learn that not all dogs are friendly.". As it turns out, because I can manage the interaction, thanks to a great dad and kid, I've always been able to manage thresholds.
     
    drjs@5 likes this.
  14. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2014
    Messages:
    8,416
    Our twins (three years old) are great with the dogs, but they very easily get knocked over by them and this worries their Mum - so I tend to have the big dogs on leads when the twins visit.

    I'm not sure what I'd do if the twins lived with us, Tatze is bouncy at the best of times. I'm sure I'd just teach the twins to deal with her by not worrying about getting knocked over - children are very resilient if we let them be, lol.

    :)

    ...
     
  15. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2014
    Messages:
    8,416
    My youngest son was bitten on the face by a Dulux dog (what is their proper name?) when he was 18 months old. It didn't affect him at all, but my eldest son, who was nearly four at the time, was scared of dogs after that. We had our own dog (Boogie) and he was fine with him. But, even as a teenager, he would walk half an hour extra to school to avoid passing a stray dog.

    He's still wary of dogs he doesn't know - fine with our own dogs, in fact he plays 'rough' with them!



    ...
     
  16. Cath

    Cath Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2015
    Messages:
    3,882
    Annie and I had a really good experience the first time I took her to the town shops.
    We just sat down on a bench to watch the world go by. A older couple came up and asked could their grand daughter who was about 5 could met the Annie. They said she was nervous about dogs. I told them Annie had never met a small person before and she was unsure too. Annie sat still and the little girl put her hand slowly out to let her sniff. Annie licked the little girl's hand and she laughed. They both learnt something that day.
     
    Saba's Boss, MF, Granca and 3 others like this.
  17. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    15,785
    Location:
    Andorra and Spain
    Old English Sheepdog :)
     
    Boogie likes this.
  18. Samantha Jones

    Samantha Jones Registered Users

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,053
    Location:
    Northampton
    It is definitely the adults - yesterday I had Bailey with me sitting at a picnic table with my friend and her two dogs (one is a shih tzu the other a terrier cross - so both lap dogs) and Bailey who is 5 months old (thinks he's a lap dog!). Bailey loves children, but as a clumsy boy who still has to grow into his feet can unintentionally knock small children over. Young boy comes over and asks if he can stroke the dogs and then crouched down - Bailey went up to him and licked his hands then moved in for a hug and fuss little boy tumbled over (laughing I would add) and Bales was immediately licking his face! I called him away (had him on a long line at the time and this was right next to me). Boy was laughing and saying that my dog liked him. All good so far, then the adult came up and the kid told him he had got licked, and the adult said "that's cause the dog was going to eat you" :mad:

    Before I could say anything the little boy laughed and said "don't be silly uncle, he liked me and was kissing me, dogs don't do that". I then laughed and congratulated the little boy on being the responsible adult! :D

    To say I was fuming with his uncle was an understatement. Especially as he then crouched down and tried to encourage my boy to him for a fuss - needless to say my boy did not leave my side (shortened lead)! Idiot :mad:
     
    drjs@5, Saba's Boss and MF like this.
  19. Snowshoe

    Snowshoe Registered Users

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    2,546
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Hah, I'll have to tell my BIL he has a close relative near you.
     
    drjs@5 and Samantha Jones like this.
  20. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2015
    Messages:
    8,126
    Location:
    leicestershire uk
    I had one dad tell his child thst if they did not behave my dog would bite him :mad: I stopped told thread do not use my dog to scare your child because you can't control your child my dog would never do such a thing. Cheeky devil. Kids who have dogs are usually fine but some seem to panic those are the ones who only had the experience of parents telling them don't touch the dog it will bite. To be honest I'm more likely to bite than my dogs
     
    Saba's Boss, MF, edzbird and 2 others like this.

Share This Page