Hi We have a six month old black lab puppy whos lovely most of the time but he just isnt very affectionate . He seems quite indifferent to me and my other (sometimes I think he would be happy to go home with anyone from our walks). We do lots of training with him and play with him but he never comes to us for a pet and either sleeps in the opposite corner of sofa to us or on the bottom of the stairs. It's quite disheartening . We love him to pieces but it just feels like everything is one way . We were wondering if this is a puppy thing or something we will simply have to accept is just the way he is.
Tilly is a little bit that way. She is very well behaved, but does not crave people attention. She is a great dog and easy to work with. Cooper is much more affectionate, but does that does not make her easier to live with.
I have litter mates and they are chalk and cheese in this department! Shadow likes nothing better than to snuggle up but Willow likes her own space and almost never cuddles. I have never once seen her cuddled with her brother and she gets ratty with him if he tries to lean on her when she's settled. She's just not very tactile. I understand how disheartening it can be, but bear with it and I promise you those moments when he does choose to come and settle with his paw touching your leg, or his chin rested on your lap... those moments will melt your heart more than a thousand full-body cuddles ever could. At two years of age, Willow has just started to become a lot more tactile than she ever has before, and I'm loving it. It's still nowhere near the level of her brother, and never will be, but in the mornings, she comes and licks my hand to wake me up, then jumps up on the bed next to me and snuggles in close. After a while of just enjoying the closeness, she then gets silly and starts rolling around on her back, asking for tummy rubs. This has all started in the last few weeks. As your pup grows up, you'll also come to recognise the little signals that he sends your way to show you how much you mean to him. With Willow, who is ridiculously accident-prone and a real drama queen, it's things like when she gets a thorn in her paw, she immediately runs to me, presenting the offended limb for me to sort out. I'm her place of safety, the one she trusts to make the bad things go away. When she's scared, I sit down next to her and she'll climb into my lap - or under it. She may not want to cuddle me all the time (unlike Shadow, who is rarely off my lap), but she knows I'm there when she needs me, and that's just lovely
Thank you Snowbunny!! We are just struggling a bit at the moment feeling like we put so much into him for him to treat us with such indifference .
I'm sure he loves you and that you are the most important things in his world. Some dogs just like their own space. I guess I'd just gently point out that he's an individual with his own needs... Our dogs don't ask to be bought and sold and brought into our houses - that's all our choice - so we just have to take and be grateful for what we get. I do understand that you're disappointed that he's not a cuddly dog - I can sympathise. He is who he is though and I'd be trying to look at the positives (quiet, not hassling you every 2 minutes, not kicking you off the bed...).
Human babies can be like that too, we love them still, and they love us. A gal at work said the exact same thing as you. She couldn't cuddle and hold her daughter, her first born. She could her son. It was really hard for a new young Mum to have a baby like that.
Quinn was very much like this...little to no reaction when we got home, not cuddly, would get off our bed to sleep on the floor, etc. We would joke about googling "why does my puppy hate me"...but we've just recently at around 8-9 months had a turnaround. We went on vacation for a week and left her with my parents and since we returned about a month ago she's been much more interested in us. She is sleeping in Our bed, cuddling up and even resting her head on my legs. She will come sit beside us on the couch now and is showing more excitement when we get home. So there is hope! I do think it is personality, but I think puppies also go through stages and the bond only grows as time goes on. Keep on doing what you're doing!
Hi there,I'm glad you've already had a few very reassuring responses.I haven't got a 'friendly' dog...by that I don't mean he's unfriendly ,he's just completely indifferent to people and it also took him a long while to warm up to us . We are now his world....me especially we get cuddles and snuggles and he loves to be pressed up to one of us in the chill out times ,I would say I noticed the change at 13 months of age ....he was quite bothered by a tail injury at that age which resulted in an amputation,the recovery was quite a project and I slept on the floor or sofa with him for a month ,coincidentally he was also neutered at the same time and purely anecdotally I've heard a few owners/ members say they noticed their dogs became more affectionate afterwards. On the upside you shouldn't have any separation issues and whilst I always have a good boo hoo leaving our dog when we go away ,I don't need to worry that he frets for us ,he's quite adaptable to the change.He also doesn't fuss visitors and we have a lot of visitors pass through our house as we live in Dubai ,he makes his welcome then he ignores them.... Best wishes Angela
Busters the same he's now 2, and doesn't like to sleep near anyone he loves a good stroke just unfortunately not a cuddly dog, he never has been, when my son sits next to him while on the settee Buster will immediately get off.
Moo ignored me for a few years but I never took it that she didn't like me she's just not that type of dog. Doug loved cuddles Rory likes to be in physical contact even ehen he's asleep, but moo doesn't care for it. She has always danced to a different drum. I have a friend who shes seen every day for 10 years and she's never once greeted her. She has no time for people mostly and other dogs mostly, she is uncompromising about most things and likes to do her own thing.she is amazing to train can do anything go anywhere and her behaviour in all situations is exceptional. She never panics and is totally cool, just not a cuddle bunny. I love her differently she is a wonderful dog. I've realised how deeply she feels about me as she's got older and she does like a good massage and cuddle now. She likes to just be with me. A real indication of her true feelings became apparent when I had to go into hospital suddenly, I was very ill the dogs knew I was ill it affected them all. Doug and Rory coped well but she was worried. When I got back I was still pretty ill she sat on my feet for 3 days refused to leave my side. After that she changed or perhaps I did I really appreciate her I love her and always will .she's 13 had gone deaf and Ioosing her sight, but she's Still moo, clever sneaky independent and self contained. Your dog does love you some just show it differently, you see it in different ways just a glance or just sitting next to you. Some dogs hide it and all that stuff is going on underneath but sometimes it leaks out and the true depth of their feelings shows . Sometimes with moo its been a case of caught you being loving. Dont loose heart they do change with time and when your dog does show affection he really means it
I think I attribute Willow's change to the fact the dogs are sleeping with us at the moment. She doesn't generally cuddle during the night, either sleeping on the floor, or the very end of the bed, but in the morning she's a real snuggle-bum, and this seems to have transferred to other scenarios, too. She's happy to jump up on the sofa next to us, whereas before she'd always seek her own space. I would have her in the bedroom all the time, but I just can't cope with Shadow long-term. He wriggles, he pokes us with his elbows, he lays full-length on us, he steals the covers!! And last night, well, no idea what he'd eaten, but, well, the smells coming out of him were EVIL! So, when we're back in Andorra, I'm afraid to say they're back in the living room at night time!
I think it's partly my fault. We both knew i would be going back to work September 2017 full time (i am currently on a work sabbatical to do a masters) so we knew Alfie would be a home alone dog walker dog eventually so I always encouraged him to be independent and be happy to settle by himself. I think i may have over achieved my aim lol. Thank you for all your kind words.
Definitely better than having a dog that is anxious about being left alone. Glad you are feeling a bit happier about things
Stanley isn't very affectionate either - he prefers his beds to the couch with us. I just wait for him to be really really tired.. Then he goes along with whatever [/URL]
We took exactly the same approach with Benson...our chocolate lab almost three now. I was off work due to an accident, so we worked very hard on training independence from us. He was always a goofy pup, but never affectionate. In fact I have never cuddled him, he hates being stroked, doesn't want affection. Adolescence for us was dreadful, he would run off with anyone...or anything. You could stand in field of dog walkers, and be hard pushed to work out who actually owned him! Now roll on to today...we have a deeper understanding of Benson, his affection is different. It's quiet and watchful, on walks he is never far away. We love his sense of humour and thoughtful intelligence. he is an individual dog and wouldn't change him for the world. Interestingly his favourite all treat is coming to bed..just maybe once a week..and he loves just curling up with us. A lovely book you might like to read is this one: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bones-Would-Rain-Sky-Relationships/dp/044669634X
