Hi All, Need a little vent, My OH is really having a hard time with the dog this week, Yes he is a pain sometimes, yes he can be hard work. But I seem to be trying my best and were getting through okay. We have only had him 5 weeks, my OH sufferes with anxiety (sometimes severe). The change is big for him.... we had a bad few days thats all....I have to say he loves the dog to bits and on good days he really makes him happy! He loves playing and training him he gets a kick out of it when Rolo learns something he taught him! I altered my work pattern so that my OH isn't left alone with pup for too long this week, in case he feels unable to cope... I dont mind, I knew when we got a puppy it would be mostly my responsibility and was totally ready as I said I feel like im coping, I just dont want to make things worse for my partner. He seems okay today and we are leaving the dog at home tonight for a short time whilst we go out for tea with our family some time for us again! I am sure everyone had tension in relationships with a puppy :') I just needed to get it out
Oh yes! J and I have a completely laid-back relationship and we're not into drama at all. We very rarely have a cross word between us, but there were a few over the puppies - and the teenagers they grew into! Mainly my fault for being too short with him, I have to admit. I'm OK at using positive reinforcement with a dog, but tend to slip on that front a bit when training a husband
Me & OH have had quite a few rows over little Lord Stanley I'm ashamed to admit. Usually over a training aspect or because Stanley has done something on the other ones watch.. I.e ate a mouse on OH's watch as Fiona said, so easy to be positive to the puppy while looking at Nath like It's a big lifestyle change aswell - we went from being out every weekend, the cinema, out for meals two or three times a week to being in the house with a furry little monster. But Stanley & OH's bond is amazing and it's definitely made me love him more watching how caring and patient he is with him. I'm sure with Rolo and you, your OH will get used to the change in no time. And if you think.. People manage children, that's GOT to be harder. That's what I tell myself anyway
It sounds as if you are supporting your partner just fine. Gentle encouragement goes a long way. Enjoy your break tonight with family. I am subtly managing OH positively. I am now able to ignore the things he does "wrong" with Coco, and I am gently praising the things he gets right. It seems to be working.
Thanks all I knew others had this too! It just can seem silly mentioning it to friends who dont have dogs, or labs specifically! haha they think, Whats the big deal? And they also dont understand his anxiety sometimes which frustrates me! So i dont bother, this was the perfect place to come! Haha Jen I totaly agree with you thats what gets me through most days, funny enough my OH said this week i would rather have kids, they cant walk around for a few years :') Thanks all made me feel better already!
It is very tiring and frustrating having a puppy, but they get better quicker than babies do. I find the first six months the worst, it is like having a baby in the house, you have to watch them all the time, though a crate is useful as you can pop them in when they are tired and you can do some housework or have a shower! However, the stressful puppy time is soon forgotten and you and OH will look back fondly to these days.
Does your OH have help with his anxiety? Some CBT can help enormously. Here I'm the boss when it comes to the dogs. I do the bulk of the work so what I say goes. OH does get in trouble for not listening tho! I was out for the day and Tatze was due her worm tablet - OH hadn't listened properly and gave it to Bruce! Luckily Bruce was due his today, so no great harm done - but they are on different things so I had to phone Welfare at GDs to make sure all would be well. *shakes head* I do appreciate that him doing 'dog duty' occasionally allows me easy days and weekends away and to work two afternoons a weekbut still ... if only he'd just listen!
When Alfie first came home I think my OH and I felt like a bomb had been dropped in the middle of our very comfortable life! I have to admit there were a few fights and some tears - still are the occasional disagreements (mainly as the OH thinks that Alfie should do as he says even when he hasn't been trained in the word the OH is using!) but we love having him, he makes us smile everyday Alfie is now 8 months old as it is so much easier!! We can now pop out just the two us sometimes and we can go on slightly longer walks (which is part of the reason we got Alfie) and he is much better behaved than he was! Guess what I'm saying is, it gets better and it gets better quickly!! :d
My OH runs hot and cold when it comes to Xena. He finds it hard to tolerate lots of normal puppy behaviour, and I have to keep saying "it won't happen overnight but it will happen". It's been a shock to both of us exactly how much work it takes to mould a great dog out of a puppy, but we'll get there eventually.
His personal favourite is to tell Alfie to 'sit down'. In Alfie world 'sit' and 'down' are two very different positions :L
Oh yes a furry pup sized bomb landed in our lives too - and like the others have said it does get better, and quickly. Training the OH's however takes more time. With Bailey at 8 months old now he no longer bites or nips me at all (he does like to "hold" my hand in his mouth with no pressure when he is tired) but because my OH rough-houses with Bailey he still gets nipped, then wonders why ...my face is now blue telling him but will he listen - nope! That said they really adore each other and it is really touching, especially as it was me that really wanted the dog not my OH - he just gave in after years and years of my showing him puppy pictures!
It does get better pretty quickly and the bad stuff will be forgotten. Molly was sat waiting to go out the other evening and my OH says 'How do they know to toilet outside, is it instinct? 'OMG, total amnesia!
I'm a real nag when it comes to the dogs - and I think my OH is a saint to put up with it. Sure, he doesn't get a lot of stuff 'right' and I'm constantly telling him 'don't....X, Y, Z'. But, you know, the dogs absolutely adore him, he is pretty consistent even though it takes them a little while to work out his (so he says) swiss army knives of dog training cues: chup-chup and tuppatup. I tell myself I should just zip it, and be grateful he takes time off work when we are stuck, pulls his weight, does his share of caring for sick dogs, will always take the dogs out in the rain, and so on. I wanted these dogs, he went along with that, accepted the good and the bad that comes with owning dogs - and he more than does his bit. In his own way. I'm not going to change him. Never be with someone you think you have to change - you can't. I reckon that's why he puts up with my nagging.
My husband got anxiety too, we had our fair share of opinions about how to raise my puppy (yep she's mine). But I guess it's easier for us since I'm the housewife and he works. I did most of the training but I made sure I gave my husband "training" too to show how he should handle difficult situations, how to greet when he comes home and what commands I use (verbal and hand gestures). It was very frustrating for him the first 2-3 months but now they are best friends. I'm sure your oh will be fine in the future.
I can't even get started on this thread ,you'd never get me off! Ah I love him to bits really .........
