A moral/cultural conundrum: online advert (i.e. "eBay") dog or puppy?

Yes, how did it go? I have patiently been waiting for an update

 

Mmm...I've been kind of hiding in a corner and licking my wounds but I guess it's time to come out. First of all, the good news is that Bruno has been officially adopted. Just not by me. He will be going to a nice family in the UK once they sort out his transport. While I was (and continue to be) sad for me, for Bruno it is the best possible outcome.

I spent a very long and literally sleepless night before my visit on Sunday and after much soul-searching had decided that yes, in fact I WAS ready for my next dog and I was excited that dog was likely going to be Bruno. I know you all may be thinking "duh" but the honest truth is that I'm still mourning Brogan something fierce and it was a real question for me. Not that I think that I DON'T want another dog, just the timing and questioning if I'm really ready. So I really felt darn good about that at least while driving to the shelter.

I had to wait a bit before the volunteer who was going to let me in showed up, and in the meanwhile talked to three other volunteers. All of them -individually - expressed shock that I would consider Bruno for an assistance dog. They all said variations on the same thing: "But he does't even notice people.". Still, I'm thinking that maybe they just didn't know him very well and I'll darn well just see for myself.

I don't know how much to say about my actual visit with him. He's a gorgeous dog, probably even handsomer than his photos. However, he did indeed have no interest in me or the other humans. And I had brought fresh cooked chicken, squeaky toys, tennis balls...I was a cornucopia of doggie excitement. He also had another behavioural issue which was very apparent and which for me, service dog or not, is a no go, 100%. I do think that if he has one family he can bond with and doesn't need to meet many new people or dogs and can have his own space for playing, he will do wonderfully. This is what the family in the UK can give him and I can't.

So it's a happy ending to the story for Bruno but my search goes on.

I met a couple of the other dogs at the same shelter and have spent the last couple days seriously talking with a foster home for one of the other dogs I've been interested from the first day I saw the site. That was a bit rough too as I'd been planning my trip to see him this weekend (5 hour drive one way) but the foster mum finally said to me, "I have to be totally honest with you, I don't think he'll work". I really appreciated her honesty and it taught me a good lesson as well about the advantages of being very clear about my hard limits on certain behavioural issues. And it could turn out well as I'm going to do a doggie description for her in German and put her in contact with my friend in Germany who runs a rescue group. Hopefully we can get this big boy to the right home, too.

I've got one more dog in foster care to see (the funny-eyebrowed Larry) and I'm going back to the dog refuge nearer to me to ask if I can help them by fostering Galgos and/or walking their dogs and getting them out of the kennels for some 1x1 attention and love. It would help me and hopefully it would help them too. And of course, there's always a possibility I may find "my dog" there, too.

I've got to be honest, I'm not feeling my best right now. It's been a tough few days. But onward and upward. My dog is out there somewhere.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling down about it all. But, me being the eternal optimist, I'm taking the positives.
You're ready for another dog to join you on your journey through this thing called life. Bruno was not that right dog, but he has a happy ending of his own. The right dog is out there for you, somewhere and you will find him

 

Yeah, I know...just have to keep at it. In the meantime I'll just live vicariously through your Squidge videos and posts.

 

Oh I'm sorry Emily, you should've told me to keep me snoot out of your business!

You'll definitely find the right dog for you - it must be so hard missing Brogan. He's definitely going to be a hard act to follow.

And like you say - Bruno's got a nice family to go to which is lovely news.

It's lovely that you're going to ask to volunteer or foster. Those dogs will definitely appreciate what you have to offer

 

It'd hard but you have come away from this with a clearer picture of what you want. Your dog is out there. I sorry it's been so disappointing, so far

 

Oh no, I didn't mean it that way at all. I'm glad you asked and I really appreciate all the support I've gotten here. I feel like you all have been my cheerleaders! I just wanted the story to be wrapped up in a bow for both Bruno and me and was just procrastinating saying here that it wasn't. But the important thing is that Bruno got his bow...I'll have other chances!

 

I know how hard it can be, when you think you have found the right one, but it doesn't work out . There is a dog out there for you , that's what I used to tell myself , and when you least expect it , he or she will be there, please don't feel too sad , thoughts with you x

 

Absolutely! I feel like I've learned so much in only two shelter visits and one week. That just tells me I have a lot more to learn. I was really naive about the whole shelter thing, and likely still am, but maybe a teeny bit less so.

 

Sorry Emily.
{{{hugs}}}

 

What an emotional few days for you. I'm so glad Bruno has found his forever home, that is a real big plus. I wonder whether you'll be, perhaps, leaning towards the puppy route..? easier to fit your requirements. I hope you feel your lows are shared with us all to make them feel a little lighter for you, we're all feeling some of what you are experiencing through your eloquent writing xx

 

Ah Emily,I just know before long we are going to be reading a post filled with the news you've found him,the one .Bruno will be happy and you will be too x

 

I really appreciate yours and everyone's kind words. It really does help to tell the tale here...I've never been an online type of person but this is such a great group of doggie-lovin' humans that I've been converted.

That is very insightful to bring up the puppy question. Even though I've worked in rescue, I was indeed naive about the state of the dogs here. I think because California, despite having a terrible dog overpopulation problem and and even worse shelter kill rate, does not have the problem Spain has of what I'd call "feral" dogs. Not really feral in the true sense of the word maybe, but dogs that nonetheless have zero positive contact with humans before being brought into rescue. They are so different than what I'm used to as foster dogs or my own dogs. Sure, Brogan was a rescue, but he was born into a foster home and I had him from a small puppy. He was socialised up the ying-yang from day one.

So yes, it does make me think that the smart thing to do would be to not give up on the responsible breeder search while continuing to do some looking here for a rescue. I contacted the refuge near me that I visited last week and asked for another visit and that they consider me for a foster home. This would give me lots of good experience, including a refresh on what it's like to work with a large adult dog with no training whatsoever. Then if I do find "the one" amongst the rescue dogs, I'll be better prepared to help him/her. Or if I decide to get a puppy instead, I can feel good that while I do want to help rescue dogs, I will have learned that a rescue is just not the best choice for me for an assistance dog.

It will all work out and at some point in the future - hopefully not TOO far in the future - I'll be feeling silly that I was even feeling down about the whole thing!

 

I can't even say how much I hope you are right about that! Keep sending the good vibes!

 

Oh Emily I am so sorry Bruno didn't work out for you but I am over the moon he has finally found his forever home, just brilliant I am however feeling pretty awful that I pointed you in the direction of Bruno and this rescue centre and now you are feeling low about finding your own forever dog. I am so sorry There is a puppy/dog waiting for you it's just a question of when. When it happens we will all be overjoyed for you. Keep looking, don't give up xxx

 

No, don't apologize at all! It was a great tip and I've got over four more months down here in Spain to keep looking for a rescue and they (Spanish Stray Dogs) are a great resource. I'm seeing more of their dogs this weekend and hopefully will be allowed to be a short-term foster home as well for the refuge closer to me.

Of course I wanted it to be easy and have one of the first dogs I looked at (i.e. Mr. Bruno) be "the one" but truth be told I am more of a "no stone left unturned type" so at the end of day a longer search is not such a terrible thing.

I am feeling down, but that's kind of a complicated cocktail where the biggest ingredient continues to be missing Brogan. In addition to being my best buddy, as you know he was also my assistance dog, which means my window on life just keeps shrinking without him. So sometimes challenges like this puppy/dog hunt probably affect me more than they should. Not sure if that makes sense, but suffice it to say I'm still really grateful for the tip to the rescue - keep 'em coming in fact - and I'm going to keep looking!

 

Thank you Emily Brogan is a very hard act to follow I totally understand and it makes total sense. I know how I feel about Hattie, my first dog, she is so amazing and brings so much happiness to so many lives, firstly as my best friend and constant companion and as a PAT dog. I can't even begin to imagine how I would cope without her.

I know you feel down now but there will be another dog in your life, it would be awful if there wasn't, so we WILL find you one. I will keep looking as long as you do! x

 

Maybe it WILL take a village to find me a dog.

My closest friend in Germany is getting rather violent with me in fact and is threatening to fine me monthly if I remain dogless for much longer or alternately just find a dog for me herself ("At this point I know what you want in a dog more than you do!!!"), tie him to my front door, knock and run. She's got a good heart but is a bit crazy and just may do what she says. Probably a good thing my front door is now 2000 km away from her for the next few months. But you can kind of see why I started talking more about my search here and almost not at all anywhere else!

 

Because we are quietly calm and collected and seriously weigh up everything before making any rash suggestions.
(Did you ever read the duck thread? )

 

I read the entire duck thread (over a few days) a few weeks after I joined the forum and it gave me SO MUCH JOY! DUCKIES! You lot are mad, poor Rachael, she really didn't know what she was getting herself into by letting you lot name them.

@Emily_BabbelHund the Spanish shelter hunt sounds incredibly disheartening. I have nothing useful to add, but I'm following your journey and hoping that you find the right pooch for you, whether it's a rescue, or a little pupperoni.