Welcome to the forum ! As others have said you are not alone in feeling like this , in fact even though I have had dogs all my life my latest experience with Bella who is now 18 months old has at times made me feel exactly the same . I got Bella 3 months after I had lost Ebony who was 13 when she passed , Ebony was such a wonderful dog that when I lost her there was a gaping hole in my life and even though I had reservations I decided to get another pup . I got Bella when she was 8 weeks old and from day 1 she was a character , coming home in the car with her sat in the back seat she clung on to my arm with her front paws for dear life ! She used to wake up several times in the night crying , whining and yelping and would wake up at 5am every morning and not go back to sleep .....now at 18 months old she tells me when its her bed time ( approx 10.30 -11pm) and wants to go to her crate .Once in there all I will ever hear from her now is snoring ! She used to leave a trail of destruction wherever she went and she totally destroyed my back garden ...no plant was safe ! she either ate the leaves off the plants or ripped up branches etc . So much so that I could never leave her in the back garden unsupervised as she was ( and still is to some extent a mischief ) Once when she was just a few months old I accidentally left a packet of paracetamol on a table next to my sofa ...walked back into the room 2 mins later to find her under the table with a half eaten tablet next to her and the box in pieces .I rushed to her to vets where she had he stomach pumped , luckily she was ok . Bella used to pull like crazy when on her lead but slowly we are getting to the point where she will quite happily just walk next to me ( unless she spots another dog ! ) There have been times where I have just sat crying wondering what I was going to do about Bella as she is the hardest dog it has been my experience to train and even seriously considered taking her back to the breeder on several occasions .However she would give me a "look" or come and sit leaning against me or as you can see from my Avatar come and lie on me and fall fast asleep snoring and I would realise that I could not do that to her or to myself for that matter . Now at 18 months she is slowly but surely starting to develop into a loving companion who still has her moments of madness and I am sure that she always will and I cant imagine my life without her . Stick with it as out of the blue your pup will do something that makes your heart melt and soon you will think to yourself "what was I worried about ? " when you look down and see a happy smiley doggy looking back at you with all the love in the world in their eyes .
I still had my older lab doug when Rory came as a puppy he kept the young lad in line by just setting a great example being patient with him and hard stares. Moo played with him and both encouraged him to play with them. I made sure when Rory had his moments they were both out if the way. I supervised always and never left them loose together until I was sure the were ok . I didn't have any difficulties we just kept to the established routine I made sure everyone had their space and needs met. I think making sure the pup didn't irritate the older dogs was the most important thing. Also I gave treats training grooming etc in order of age which helped Rory to get a bit more patient and understand that waiting had its rewards. Rory was happy and really the older dogs did indulge him. If he hurt himself and cried they would race to him to check he was ok. I did exercise them all individually too. They all had different exercise needs so all got individual time with me. I did do walking all together occasionally but it was hard work. I miss having 3 it was the best ever, but I will wait until Moo has gone before I get another as she had gone deaf going blind and has a heart murmur. She's a game girl still and would more than likely take it all in her stride but I want to spoil her a bit and spend time with her.
Thank you for such a lovely welcome to this forum. Came down this morning to Red having elimated in her crate - what a mess but even better was to come!! We had a Vets appointment at 8.30 for her second vaccination. Put her and her crate in the car and set off. Within 5 minutes she had wee'd and poo'd again so we had a big mop/clean up operation before we even entered the Vets. I had her on my lap on the return journey as her crate was such a mess. She was very yappy and trying to jump about. We got the crate inside and I have just - it's now 9.50 - got everything as clean as I can. We have been up since 6 and already I feel exhausted. Was really hoping to be able to start taking her for walks out but the vet says she won't be fully immunised for another week. Crikey, I truly hope you guys are right about it getting better!!
Thank you for answering my question. My husband says they will be ok eventually - hope he's right. We are establishing routines (as much as possible) but still keeping both dogs separate. Crate is the best bit of equipment ever! Sky (older dog) will sit the other side of the gate to kitchen and so they are able to get as close as possible when Red isn't in her crate. Using the leash to keep Red from charging at her when they both need to be taken to garden. Lawn has become so muddy and can't wait for drier, longer days when not having to deal with all that so much. I'm sure all be become ok but just at the moment feel as though I am losing the will to live!!!!
Oh dear, I was a bit worried when I read the bit about sitting Red on your lap for the return journey - but luckily what I'd envisaged didn't happen! Are you able to fence off a little bit of garden temporarily so that Red can just use that bit? Fortunately my labs haven't been inclined to jump over fences, so I was able to use just a low-ish bit of wire fencing to make a temporary barrier for a puppy spending area, linking it to the back door. The downside was that I had to make a moveable opening in it for the other dogs to go further into the garden because they wouldn't jump! SwampDonkey has described exactly what I did (and still do sometimes) with mine, giving each some individual time and making sure they have their own space. They are now very good company for each other and it's lovely to watch them play. Yours will settle down too, but it might take time!
Oh, I just remembered another thing that helped me personally. I got a super cute doggo calendar when we picked up Stampy, and over the past couple of weeks I've been writing down roughly the times Stampy has been napping. Sure, it doesn't reeeaally achieve much, except help me see the days go by and reflect on the time that's passed, therefore helping me reflect on the progress we've made. Plus, I love analysing trends. Probably why I'm a scientist... Also, I suffer from pretty rotten anxiety, so I've also kept a mood journal since getting Stampy. I write about my day, write things I'm grateful for... with one catch: it can't involve the dog! That way, I keep balanced perspective on the rest of my life, which still exists, so I'm not totally overwhelmed by my new responsibility. I don't know if this would help - I'm pretty over the top with these sorts of things. I just figured, since I have nothing to add on the dog-raising side of things, I might as well share some human-care strategies that work for me!
Thank you for your reply deadandchocolatel. I am like you in that I write lots of things down. I did start to keep a daily journal initially to help me with feeding times and amount etc. It was probably a bit over the top and in an effort to keep my horrible anxiety levels down, I decided to stop doing it. I am trying to treat each day as a new day and a clean slate. I get very despondent very quickly when things aren't going well. Thank goodness my other half is the opposite.
Thank you for this Dalliance. I am trying to be positive. Think I am so tired now. I am heartened by everyone's stories.
Hi Atemas, welcome to the forum! I can not put into words how completely different Harley was to what we thought she would be... In South Africa we have this toilet paper brand called Baby Soft http://www.kimberly-clark.co.za/products/babysoft.aspx and for all my life there has been the cutest yellow lab pup on the advert. So this was kind of programmed into our minds. Then we brought Harley home and the first night and morning was awesome. She was so sweet and cute. And then she proceeded to bite us everywhere for about 3 weeks. We couldn't pat her and she would bite us. If you looked at her she would run up to you and bite you. We took her to puppy socialization class and she was the BUSIEST puppy there. And she bit us. There were pit bull puppies there whose owners were looking at us in horror because Harley was so busy. She ran over and sat on the pug puppy in the class repeatedly. The collie owner would pick up her pup every time Harley charged over. We were horrified. And the trainer tells us that Harley is so well behaved. I remember still asking her "compared to what?" Apparently, the labs she knows are even worse. I cried. I repeatedly thought about rehoming her. She was the topic of arguments between DH and I. I remember thinking "how can these dogs ever be service dogs...is it some kind of joke? Are the dogs sedated? They must be a different type of labrador" And then she turned about 16 weeks and very very quickly she started biting so much more gently. Then she became more cuddly and her ears started occasionally working opposed to never. She is now 21 weeks and she is a completely different puppy. We enjoy her so much. She is still a bouncy, busy pup but she sleeps through the night and potty accidents are so much fewer. She is no longer just a crocodile with fur. So I really wish for you that things change as soon as they can. Good luck and hang on.
Hello and welcome to the forum, from Poppy and me in Germany. I promise you, things WILL get better! In a few months this will all be like a bad dream... and you'll be wishing Red was still a tiny puppy!
Hi! Totally normal to feel what you're feeling (or so I've been told by people on here when I was feeling the same way not too long ago!) My guy is 6 months now. We got him at 8 weeks and there was multiple mornings where I was in tears thinking we had ruined our lives by bringing this monster into our home. He whined all the time, bit us like crazy, wouldn't sleep... it was honestly like having a newborn baby again. It's gotten a lot better though. We can't imagine life without him (most of the time ) and I don't find myself wanting to rehome him anymore (mostly kidding, but not really because I seriously thought about it at first!) One day you will look at your life and things will be amazing. It passes. In the moment it feels like it will take forever and might never end, but it does
Thank you so much guys for all these postings. I have had a really bad day - so much wee and poo happening indoors and frustratingly in her crate (she hasn't been in there for very long) even though she has had plenty of trips into the garden despite Storm Doris sweeping across the UK. However, there are positives which I hold on to - Red is biting less, she seems to be enjoying cuddles more, watching us more and there was a good interaction with our older dog Sky this afternoon. Sky wanted to come into the kitchen where Red was playing so we let her in. Plenty of jumping up by Red onto her but less biting. Sky tolerated for a few moments then wanted out. Gave me a tiny glimmer of hope. All your comments echo my husband's. Really shocked how this has 'got' to me.
Hi @Atemas , Not so long ago I was where you are, wondering what I'd done getting a puppy again and losing my freedom. Then it seems quite suddenly the mist cleared and I have this beautiful, spirited and funny companion --- just as people on here said I would ! Not that at 10months I am out of the woods puppy wise but things are not nearly so intense. Like others, re homing crossed my mind but the thought of packing her up and sending her off made me cry more than anything else I was feeling at that time.
Thank you Selina27. Yes losing my freedom is definitely a factor here as I feel guilty I am not giving my family any time or support at the moment. I also worry about leaving Red for a few evenings coming up we have had planned for ages now. I honestly thought we'd be further down the line here with settling - gosh wasn't I naive? I long for the mist to clear. As I type this Red is asleep in her crate looking very adorable! The thought of admitting failure and returning her is too unbearable - yet I have thought it!
Can I ask, without hi-jacking the thread, and if I do, I apologise Atemas - is it just lab pups that are such a handful? I haven't read up on other breeds but as I was saying we would go to puppy class and there are the GSD's all polite and well behaved etc. And from the comments the trainer and others who know labs have made I am starting to suspect they are a specific handful of unruliness.
