Atemas, I had a very strange thought process when we got Harley that she would know when she needed to wee or poo. But she didn't. She was just a pup with as little sense about her bodily functions and how to communicate them to us as we had about them. My problem, I believe, is having had cats for 8 years. They arrived at 12 weeks and really are so much more self-sufficient than dogs. They use a litter box and you can leave food out 24 hrs a day and they help themselves. From the start Harley was very good about weeing or pooing when we took her out, even if it was just a little wee. But we needed to be the alarm clocks, we couldn't leave it to her. And we also did shifts through the nights and as she matured we stretched the time and now it is a wee and poo before bed and then at about 5.30am consistently, actually Harley dislikes it if we go to bed late and will put herself to bed. So I don't think you are setting up a future of night shifts at all. I have to share that this morning, for some reason I woke up and took Harley out to wee, like every morning. But she was very sleepy and I had to pick her up to get her to come with me. When I got back to bed I checked the time (I like to see if we consistently go out at the same time each day) and saw that it was 1.15am. The poor puppy. No wonder she was sleepy. I don't know why I thought it was 5.30am.
DH is very supportive but not so interested in the training even though he has had dogs all his life. I went to visit a friend on Tuesday afternoon and every Wednesday I go across to see my 95 year old mum for a few hours - that's as much as I feel able to do right now. Family visit regularly and we have 2 of our grandchildren staying overnight Friday so life is picking up to as it was before Red. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep . Have the joys of fox poo to come - our 10 year old Lab used to do that a lot - it's grim
How about using a lick treat for your final stroll? https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/5mn/Lean...coding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=X67CPQMYDN83XW7YRF8D PS - I have arthritis too, the pups have been the best thing for it, lots of excercise! ...
Have you tried these? Reviews aren't good - say rollerball sticks but will try if people have used successfully. Yes I am going on the basis that arthritis problem will be improved by the exercise. Think I have to go through the barrier first
As I type this, Red is sitting on her day bed playing. She has been playing the whole time, I have reread this thread all the way through just to see if we are making progress. Yes of course we are, just as you all told me would happen. I am still getting up twice during the night (second time, she did an enormous poo) and Sky our older dog still doesn't want to be around her but in so many other things, we have developed a good routine. Yesterday, I got upset cos we tried the two dogs together and it was horrible to see Sky desperate to get away from her. I asked my husband what we would do if things don't improve and he said again to have faith but that we would seek help if necessary. I am so very glad I have found this forum - I can't thank you all enough for not only responding to my at times pathetic bleats but also so quickly. No doubt I shall be on my emotional rollercoaster again today but for now all is peaceful here. Just given Red such a lovely tummy rub - her tail wagging and sure she was smiling
We got Tatze when we had 15 year old Gavin. He was a Cavalier so it was easier to separate them. We had Gavin's bed on top of Tatze's crate during the day (Gavin slept all day anyway). But Gavin wa also good at making sure she didn't jump on him. It did her good, she learned - very early in life - that not all dogs want to play.
I think you are doing so well! These small incremental steps are really positive! I would take the trainers advice with a pinch of salt, really I would. I say this wearing out dogs, exhausting them physical activity, mental games etc...just means you have trained a dog to expect so much whenever you engage with him...sort of like a permanent "on" switch every time you take him out of his crate or go on a walk. What he needs to do is learn when you use a dimmer switch. I taught a "settle" really early with Bramble, and then I would just stop, admire the view, sit on the grass, and I would switch off and relax. At the same time, when she started to unwind beside me, I just drop treats (no clicker, too activating) right between her paws. She learnt early, that sometimes this is just what we "do". I am so glad I did, as she is now a quite a big, lanky girl, and when she is "on" boy is she a handful!. I was paid a lovely compliment at training recently, around how developed her "on/off" switch was. I really wish I had taken this approach with our first lab, he bacame a very fit pain in the a...s!
And what has been so incredible is to see how much support you have been able to provide for other new owners who are a few steps behind where you are now in the journey. In therapy we are taught that you can't take another person down a road you haven't walked. And that is why this forum, and being brave enough to be open about your struggles is so incredibly empowering and supportive. I love that Red was enjoying her tummy rub, I could imagine her smiling face
I just want to add - I was talking to a breeder the other day, who said it is completely normal for it to take up to six months for an older dog to accept the younger one. Hang in there; they will learn to adjust to each other.
Just an update. The past two nights, I have got up to Red just once instead of the two times I was doing. Last night, she was very reluctant to come out her crate (LOL) so I reckon I can stretch this time out. She has had no accidents in the house for over a week and is now starting to go and sit quietly near the back door sometimes when she needs to go out. She has started playing with her toys which is lovely to watch. Her crate is now only used at night and when she has her sleeps during the day. She still behaves like a mad thing in the garden so my efforts at beginning recall have gone on temporary hold but I was reassured by Pippa responding to my worries about this and I will keep trying. Older dog Sky still very unaccepting of Red and would rather be in another room but we daily get them together for a little while. I am heartened by Karen's comment that it could take 6 months for Sky to accept Red. Feel like a cloud is slowly lifting
Fabulous news! We only had to get up once for Luna last night, too - although I then had to get up at 6 to give Willow her medication, so there wasn't much difference to the past few weeks But your post made me realise that we've not had to clean up indoors in a long while, either! Small victories!
Yesterday was my birthday and we had tickets to a concert in London (these had been booked ages before we knew we were getting Red). To cut a long story short, Sky (older lab) went to dear friends who have her when we go on holiday and I will pick her up later today. Red went to my daughter and her family who live 3 miles north of us just into Lincolnshire. We have just collected her and all has gone really well. I had outlined our routine with Red and they kept as much to it as they could (they have 2 children, a greyhound, chickens and small animals). They even managed two small walks with my grandson showing his mum how to lure her away from stones and keep her to heel (he had been staying with us the night before so had gone out with me and Red) Because of the lateness of our train home we have had minimal sleep (3 hours) BUT I am feeling much better and realise my puppy blues are about me and not about her. I have learnt SO much since discovering this site and forum and just love the help and support I am getting - it makes an enormous difference. I am sure I have a long road ahead of shaking off my feelings of inadequacy BUT already I can see what a lovely dog Red is. We have just had huge hugs and cuddles and licks (from her!) and she is sleeping peacefully in her crate.
Red is 15 weeks old today so we have had her 7 weeks. She is growing quickly and learning at such a fast rate. Puppy Blues are lifting at last and although I am still very tired, it is getting better. I get up once to her between 3 and 4 o'clock - she has a wee, sometimes a poo and then she's rushing back to the comfort of her crate. As she doesn't bark (yet!), it is me deciding she still needs this toilet trip but I shall eek this out over the next few weeks if possible. I am just happy that she has had no accidents in her crate (which is now truly her den) or in the house. She will go and sit by the back door so I know she needs to go out. The crate is now only used for daytime sleep and nighttime or if I have to let our older dog through for any reason. That is my only big issue now - getting those two together. There are glimmers but it is very slow going and more about our older dog Sky just not being interested other than any treats going!! I hand feed them minute treats in the evening on their beds either side of me in the evening - a chance to relax and all be together for a little while. Red will sit automatically to wait for her food so she is learning to say please for food and outside for toilet. Yesterday, I took her a walk and she walked on a loose lead for 15 minutes. I was using the clicker every 10 steps and dropping a treat so not stooping so much - much better. In the garden, I have started using the whistle as she runs to me and I have started the imaginary circle on my left foot work. Really love the kindle Puppy Handbook and looking forward to reading my kindle Total Recall - trying to use her nap times to read a bit more each day. I am typing this as Red sleeps on her day bed (even though I know there will be challenges ahead) to encourage anyone who is feeling anything like I have been, that things do as you kind people told me (and I clung on to in my dark hours) get better. I am finally enjoying my puppy .
