So pleased to read this - well done with keeping going, all your hard work is paying off. I know when you are going through things it seems never ending, but you have come so far in 7 weeks you should be proud of yourself and Red
I also have arthritis and in the months leading up to my pup arriving it was so bad I wondered if I was making a big mistake as I worried I would struggle to walk her. Now it's the best it's been, I hardly notice it, and the only thing that's changed is walking the dog twice a day.
Y Yes, it's interesting isn't it? A part of my puppy blues was because of extreme pain in my knees and left foot due to arthritis. I too was thinking this is a bad mistake as I shan't cope. Mine is better than it was so the exercise is definitely helping. Think I had become somewhat lazy - almost like giving into the pain.
Yes I have found much the same thing, I have "creaky" knees, and hardly notice them these days, I think I'm so busy focusing on Cassie and her needs , and so enjoy seeing her out and about. And the increased activity and less time to eat have meant weight loss too which obviously is a good thing. Good to hear that things are falling into place with Red.
Well think my post last Thursday was too premature as puppy blues descended massively yet again this weekend. Yes there are positives - toilet training, saying please, sleeping all night (still do the one toilet garden visit but take only a few minutes), two trips into the country and good recall BUT.......yesterday, I felt so drained and despondent. I took her in the garden, we did some loose lead work and recall. She is getting fairly good at the loose lead in the garden but as soon as we step outside the front door for a short walk, she is pulling, scooping up stones and anything else she can get in her mouth - almost like 'surfing' the ground and I end up back home totally exhausted, frustrated and with a dog who won't have enjoyed that experience. I have watched videos of people training with their dogs and my attempts are pathetic. Took toys outside in the garden for a play but no, Red just wants to eat the grass and dig up plants and find stones. She has also been quite bitey this weekend and I have managed to get one deep bite on my hand and several bloody scratches. Just getting her lead on can be hard work. Biggest thing though is the older dog. We have put them together each day but I hate watching. Sky is now growling, showing her teeth but Red is very persistent at jumping on her energetically and we have to bring each session to an end. Admittedly Red is licking her more and less biting but I get so upset at seeing poor gentle Sky being subjected to this and really feel we have made a dreadful mistake getting a puppy. DH won't listen to me and seems to be getting as fed up with my bleating as I am feeling fed up that I am so much out of my comfort zone. Evening are hard work as both dogs can't be together but I do take Red through to the sitting room on her lead and am working on her staying on her bed but this only works if I am feeding treats. I end up going back in the kitchen with her or attempting a frustrating walk. Feeling resentful and just at the end of my physical capabilities. All feels very joy less and I am close to tears......is this the worst case of puppy blues ever?
You will get there, you have come a long way. All recoveries have setbacks xx When she's on the lead in the evening try standing on her lead so that she can't move much at all. She won't like it. But, if she's had everything she needs - food, play, training etc - then she will give in and settle. Once she settles leave her, don't treat as that will get her hopeful and awake again! This is what I've had to do with Mollie and her cafe training - we are getting there. Twiglet was a big digger and my supervisor suggested a corner of the garden with sand where she's allowed to dig but not to let her do it anywhere else - this worked a treat! Digging is a natural and enjoyable activity for dogs but we don't want them to do it in our gardens!! Maybe, for now, stop looking for joy but start looking for small successes and writing them down. Joy can't be found when it's looked for - but it surprises us when we least expect it, in my experience. Meanwhile ((hugs)).
I'm not sure if it's been mentioned hut I have you considered day care for an afternoon or two a week? It will give you a break and red will be safe and having fun. Plus she will come back nackered and that could be a good time to try and train settle a bit more.
Thank you Boogie for responding and the hugs. I do stand on her lead but maybe need to be more persistent. I will talk to DH about the sand. I am not overly precious about the garden persay as I know it will recover and I do appreciate they need to dig. She obviously loves it!! I am going to take on board what you say about joy - maybe I am expecting too much. Just spoken to DH and he as always says all will be ok and I am expecting too much. Maybe a lot of my problems is I never had dogs until Sky 10 years ago - I was working full time then, she was 5 months old (having been with another family who then split up and she was returned through no fault of her own to the breeder) and DH did most of the training (albeit in an old fashioned style but she is a lovely gentle dog). DH has always had dogs and when I met him 16 years ago he had a beautiful old black lab. My emotional state shocks me - I have always been strong when things are tough......BUT onwards and upwards. Thank you.
Thank you. You have mentioned this Jen. Where I take Red training, it's a daycare centre for dogs but it's not close by and a busy route to get there. Also I think they have masses of dogs each day and the mind just boggles as to how that works. I will see if I can find maybe some afternoon daycare nearer to home for one or two times a week - this would almost certainly do me good if I am happy with what I see.
Writing it down can really help. Here's a section from Coco's log - He was awful! We'd only had him 3 weeks at this point, but it seemed like I'd been struggling for months at the time. He was a full-grown, 30kg dog. I've stopped writing it down now as he's so much improved. I give folks on Facebook and update every morning and it's turned into "Lovely walk with Coco" "Perfect lead walk with Coco".... 21 September · bloody Moddey Dhoo Two ! My own stupid fault - decided to walk him along the narrow wall-bounded path from Gansey Pottery. Two thirds of the way along we met a very wary, young Border Collie. Stopped to exchange words it's woman, Coco desperate to greet the dog - he lunged & pulled me right over, skinning my knuckles & bashing my nose on the now face-height stone wall. ...just putting off washing the grazes as they're stinging so much. 22 September · Dreadful morning. Started with Coco biting the harness so I couldn't get it over his head, so I used the other harness. Then he was so whipped up I sat down to wait but he just kept winding Belle up - snarl snap! So I clipped his lead on and went on to have a full blown tug of war in the front garden..eventually got him in the car. Walking was reasonable until a Poodle/Lab walked by - Coco went berserk..it was all I could do to hold on to him. It walked back again later - same result. There have been much tears of frustration this morning.
I AM pretty precious about our garden as it's only a small one - so much so I've now put a fence up as I was tired of Tatze's wees burning the grass ,,,
Try not be so hard on yourself, you are learning as well as Red, those video's after all are the ones that have gone right aren't they? Like you I found that every thing had moved on in the world of dog training since I last had a puppy, and many is the time I've been training her with the laptop open for reference to the next bit .... oh if she responds like that what am I to do ?!!!...poor Cass, it's a wonder she's as good as she is! (although as I write this she's taken and chewed a log from the log basket again!!) It's all very intense when they are young, meeting their needs and trying to guide them into the dogs we want, I'm sure a lot comes with maturity, I guess that's where your husband is coming from. You've had great advice from everyone who has responded -- keep at it!
Sorry you are feeling so despondent Atemas. What you describe are very normal feelings, it IS really hard having a new pup. It's a shame you can't take on some of your DH's easy come easy go attitude and stop being so down on yourself. Boogie is so right about looking for small successes rather than joy. I felt exactly like you and thought about rehoming my pup because I was so overwhelmed. I spoke to a very helpful lab-breeder who also worked for Labrador rescue. She said my pup would start to calm down when she hit 4 months and I really couldn't imagine it but she did! But it wasn't big changes that suddenly made everything seem easy, it was small things where I would think "hey, she hasn't done this for a while" or I'd say to my son "do you remember when this used to happen?" and we'd realise whatever it was happened much less. (I spoke to my cousin who'd had a lab from puppyhood and he said how tough his family had found it and how it placed strain on his marriage and that they'd seriously considered rehoming. His comments gave me permission to really consider rehoming hence contacting lab rescue. I was 99% sure I was going to rehome her but the next morning I felt much lighter coz I'd put it all 'out there' and I just couldn't imagine someone else raising my girl). Since 4 months so much has got better (she's 6 months now) but there are still challenges, I still feel trapped sometimes, I can get frustrated about training issues like you. But I try not to think too far ahead and try to take each day as it comes. And, like Boogie says, I embrace the small successes but now, I also feel joy! I didn't have to introduce my pup to an older dog so I appreciate how hard that must be. I hope you have a better day today.
Atemas, I just wanted to add to my previous response, about daycare. Someone suggested to me I ask other dog owners at the park if they had any recommendations for Doggy daycare, which I did. Although most didn't work out for various reasons, I realised there was a lot more available than I found by Googling, not everyone has an online presence. I eventually found someone who looks after dogs in her own home. Plum pulls my arm off to get in the front door (she started at 4 months) and has got a lovely labrador friend with whom she plays and snuggles up with when they've both tired themselves out. She goes about twice a week and it helps us both!
Yes, this absolutely! When was it exactly that I could walk around the kitchen in the morning without having my feet gnawed on or my dressing gown hung on to? Couldn't say, all I know is it doesn't happen anymore!
Don't judge yourself or your dog based on anyone else. That person may have a tonne of experience, having already learnt the hard way, or may have the easiest dog in the world. Or both! Work with the dog you have in front of you, not the idea of what she should be. Just do your best and you'll get there. This isn't a sprint, you're in it for the distance and you'll achieve your goals along the way if you just keep on working to the best of your ability.
Agreed with all of this - I kept comparing my progress with Duncan based on other people and their dogs and what others said at the dog park and he didn't seem to calm down around 4months - he was more like 6-7 months and then I started to realize "oh wait he hasn't done ____ in awhile".... it took him a long time to stop the biting and the counter surfing etc and he too was my first dog although my husband has grown up with labs so he was very easy going as well and would say "it will all be alright, he will calm down" and I was like easy for you to say! you aren't doing the majority of the day training with him! haha We signed up for puppy classes which were 6 weeks and then another round of classes after that and now are looking into more 1 on 1 training now that Duncan is about 14 months old just for a couple behaviors we want to problem solve instead of a 6 week group class -- the puppy classes did help us and tired Duncan out which was an added bonus! Our most recent trainer has taught us a lot about how you need to both mentally and physically tire them out - so lots of different training exercises along with a shorter walk is actually more tiring than just a long walk by itself - I knew this when he was a puppy and tried to do it as much as possible but his attention span was all over the place so it made it a lot harder It does get better, but I completely know how you feel and I felt so guilty for my bad days and bad thoughts when I sat there thinking how can I possibly go on with this wild crocopup that isn't getting any better, but this site helps a LOT - there are so many threads on there of people at their wits end & it gave me comfort that it does get better and before you know it some of the most frustrating of the behaviors have stopped and you feel like you can breathe! We still have our bad days like the other day when Duncan just seemed full of energy and wanting to get into everything and forget all of his training, but those are few and far between whereas before I would be CELEBRATING if we had one really good day during the week Keep on keepin' on and make sure you give yourself some "off time" where your husband or someone else takes care of the pup or you put him in a safe area/crate to take an hour nap and you get some time to yourself to breathe, drink some wine, read a book - whatever it is that will calm you and give you some space from the constant puppy training!!!
Thank you so much everyone for responding to yet another wail from me this morning. Last night I was so despondent - really having a meltdown and started once more thinking I can't do this. This morning I felt just as bad but then Red sat on my lap (crikey she's getting big) as she's taken to doing the past few mornings. We had a long cuddle and then I put her in her crate and she slept for ages. My DH then sat and talked to me and said (yet again!) that we were doing this together and it will get better - even though like you Bridget, I am doing the majority of the day training . I didn't attempt a walk with Red but we did loose lead and heel work and some recall in the garden. Then later this afternoon, we went in the car to a different place and Red was off lead. She even managed a distraction from a group of people with dogs on the other side of the dyke. DH has had a big play with her tonight - although older dog was looking on concerned and keeping her distance. Selina, like you, I am constantly looking up what I do next - it's becomes obsessive. I need to just spend some time doing other things too. I do try to sit with our older dog and spend time with her as I did a lot of before we got Red but DH gives her a lot of attention too. I have noticed myself saying to Red as I say goodnight to her - 'tomorrow's another day' so I am trying to be philosophical and take each day as it comes. Just keeps overwhelming me when things go wrong - must look more positively and not keep thinking ahead. Your continuing support everyone means a lot to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
