Question - Multiple People Involved in Training

I have a 6 month old lab named Tillie. I am a first time dog/lab owner and am trying to learn all about how to train my lab to have polite manners. She is so exciteable that I cannot have her around other people. It is getting frustrating, but I am learning from the training information on this site! My question is, if there are two adults in the family do they both have to train the dog the same way? I have problems with my husband telling me some things I want to do for training are not necessary, or that we can do it without taking her to a training class. I didn't listen to him and signed us up for 6 weeks of puppy foundation training. My husband came with us once and then because Tillie does not seem to learn quick enough for him, he won't go with me again. I feel like I'm rambling...I am with Tillie more than he is because he works out of town one week and then home one week. So, I am using the information on this site and am planning to purchase "Total Recall" since she is definitely horrible at coming when she's called. Anyway, I hope I didn't ramble too much. I am just wondering if what I teach her will be undone by what my husband does or does not teach her. He did teach her sit, down, and wait. These seem pretty basic and she learned them easily because we use them so much. Thank you for any feedback!!!!

 

Ah you aren't rambling....welcome to my life
It's a tricky one.My Husband is lovely and loves Dexter to bits but we've had a fair few bumps over training.The lion share of the work was always going to fall to me ,and like you I wanted a well behaved,well mannered pet. My biggest challenge was pulling and my husband was completely sabotaging my efforts by not acknowledging it as a problem.Trainers were telling me not to let him walk him which made me sad .So,after a few rows and tears we compromised and Chris walks Dexter off lead ( in fact he hates walking him on lead now as he still pulls him where he doesn't pull me ) Training classes didn't work for us together as Chris hates being embarrassed and not succeeding at things and let's face it ,your first lot of classes are basically humiliation at the paws of your Labrador! So fine he didn't come and I just plodded along myself and would pass on information as I learned it,mostly that was ignored This has not stopped me having a well behaved,well mannered ( in the house ) dog at all.Dexter just basically looks to me for direction and I quietly cue him if Chris is asking him to do something using a different word.You may find the same. The main thing is to agree on your style ,we both agree to use postitive reinforcement in our handling of Dexter. ,that is our common ground.Once or twice I have to remind Chris not to shout at him for not doing something when he's not using the correct cue......mind you I do have a 'Voice of Satan ' myself at times so I'm certainly far from perfect.

Its hard ,there are inequalities of free time,availability,motivation when more than one of you is involved in training......but with a bit of compromise you will get there.
Just something else from your post about not having Tillie around people.....Granted she doesn't need to say hello to everyone she meets but the way to train her to behave nicely around people is to expose her to people.Shes 6 months....is it jumping up and excitability issues ...I'll link in some of Pippa's articles on this with some excercises you can start to work on

http://www.thelabradorsite.com/no-more-jumping-up/

http://www.thelabradorsite.com/excited-puppy/

There you go,hope they help x

 

Well put! Even the other Labrador puppy, still pretty young, behaved like an angel compared to Cassie in her adolescent class!

 

Hi, Leslie, this is the main problem I have had, and still do have with Cassie. I find it difficult to manage because I'm having to deal with other peoples interaction with her , but as @Dexter points out they need to be exposed to it to learn how to manage it. Cassie is in no doubt that all the world will be overjoyed to see her. I'm sure you will find the links helpful, Cass is a lot better now

 

I would crack on with your training @Leslie Pheasant . The more you train, the more Tillie will respond to you and your hubby may even come around to your way.

Total recall is great - you will love it. There are points where you need a second person - hopefully your husband will be co-operative and help as he sees the results. But a tip for you - do NOT let him have his own whistle. Guard your whistles with your life.

I have done 99% of Coco's training, but OH does the handling at dog school. He basically reaps the glory of my work, I don't mind - I watch them and burst with pride when Coco does good, I know that's my hard work showing.

Dog classes have been very helpful to us in calming Coco down around other dogs/people.

 

I think this is a common problem for couples. It took a long time for my OH to get on board with my way of training. He had a dog as a teenager so thought he knew best, but now he will admit that his childhood dog wasn't trained at all and was an absconder. I am the main trainer/walker for Harley so I have continued to do it my way. He really has come around as he has seen the benefits of what I have been doing. Keep doing it your way and let him see the benefits too.

 

It took a while for DH to buy into the positive training model too...but unfortunately for him...I understand human cognitive behavioural techniques very, very well and after 10 years of marriage I know how to go about it I do still struggle with the high level of play that DH prefers to do with Harley. He doesn't want to train, he wants to play...and so does she...

 

I suppose in an ideal world all couples would train alike but I really don't think it's worth getting upset about. Provided your husband isn't shouting at your dog or physically correcting her, I'd just get on with doing things your way when you're with Tillie. After all we're always talking on here about how dogs find it hard to generalise and I think they do accept that some people have different expectations / ways of being with them than others.
I think classes are a good idea as it gives you a chance to practise well-mannered greeting of people in a situation where no-one is going to get upset if your dog does jump up and also help you by turning away and ignoring them.
I have a reasonably well behaved ( though not perfect) dog and a pretty happy 38 year marriage!

 

My OH is absolutely dreadful. Really. He once used a clicker as a noise distraction when Charlie was sniffing poo.

He follows Charlie on lead, because it is just mean not to do so, and tells me off for not letting Charlie choose where he wants to go on walks and gives out to me if I ask Charlie to get his head up off the ground and walk sensibly. He also encourages, yes, encourages Charlie to do victory laps with his dummy, cheering him on. Charlie basically does what he likes off lead when OH is in charge, and the only thing I can say in OH's favour is that he has a good recall and 'give' cue with Charlie (because without those Charlie is impossible to walk off lead so OH was motivated to work on them).

And, you know what? It didn't matter all that much - in the long run. It made things a bit harder, well ok - quite a lot harder, when Charlie was younger, but I still managed. My OH loves Charlie to bits, and they have a ball together but Charlie responds to me in a completely different way than he responds to OH. It doesn't matter that Charlie runs round with his dummy with OH, it makes no difference as to how often Charlie will do that in response to my cue.

The only thing I insist on is that OH doesn't use my cues, not that he is inclined to anyway as he has two cues which he says are the 'swiss army knives' of dog training. Chup chup and Tupa Tup. He uses these for just about everything. Charlie seems to know what he means from the context.

 

Exactly this.

 

When Tatze goes to stay with Zaba, Zaba's Dad let's Tatze get round his neck when he's on the sofa and wears her like a scarf! Plus many other naughty behaviours.

She's never once tried to do it with either of us, she knows who is the nutter lol

My OH believes I am gospel when it comes to the dogs. I have no say in decorating the house, or meals we eat (he's the cook, I'm the bottle washer) he has no say on doggy decisions. It works for us.

 

I have exactly this issue with my OH, and it is generally not a problem - Pongo behaves differently with him and me, he knows we have different rules. Of course it would be better if we were consistent, but I don't think it is worth divorcing over. Pongo is not a particularly well-trained dog, but we get by.

The biggest issue is on the occasions (rare) that Pongo wanders off on his own. He will come back when called (once he has finished investigating whatever it was that was so interesting ), but only to about 20 yards away. Then he'll just stand or lie down and refuse to come any closer. Why? Because he has learned that OH will be angry and shouty. It doesn't scare him (I don't think Pongo knows the meaning of fear) but he obviously doesn't like it, so he just won't come closer. Which is all a bit frustrating! I have to wait til OH has gone back into the house and then go fetch Pongo and bring him home on lead.

I do love them both but one is easier certainly to train than the other ...

 

I always say it to Emily but Rosie,you've got a book in you about Pongo too....he does make me chuckle!

 

There were a couple of times when he physically corrected her, but he soon discovered it doesn't work. OH has a loud voice and has the tendency to yell, so many times Tillie doesn't want to come back. He is learning that yelling is not a good tactic. He doesn't mind that I do most of the training. Since he works out of town every other week, I am with her more. So most of the training naturally falls on me. I don't mind. I wanted her to be my dog anyway. We both love her lots and she gets to rough play with OH more than with me. Tillie really loves those times with him.

 

Love it

 

It's surprisingly effective - and makes me wonder just how much dogs pay attention to verbal cues anyway.

OH walks to the back of the car and opens the boot "Chup Chup Charlie" - Charlie jumps in. Gets to the Common, opens the boot, "Chup Chup Charlie" - Charlie jumps out. OH turns to walk down a certain path "Chup Chup" and Charlie changes direction to follow him. OH never asks Charlie to do anything apart from in pretty obvious circumstances, and Charlie just takes his cue from the context.

 

Very similar to OH and his repertoire of cues. Which are, in their entirety, "ShadowShadowShadowShadowShadowShadowShadow"

 

...so purely out of curiosity, what response(s) does Tupa Tup elicit?

 

OH thinks it means 'stop doing that/don't eat that/stop sniffing Betsy's bottom' and so on.

It actually means 'turn towards me because I'm very likely to give you a treat because I think you've just obeyed me when I told you to [as above]'.

 

OH's recall is the Brrrrrrtttt! sound a dummy thrower makes. It's extraordinarily effective with Charlie.

So there we are.

Brrrrrrrttttt! - come here and I'll give you your ball.
Chup-chup Charlie - do something, and take your cue as to what that is from the context.
Tupa-tup Charlie - stop doing that (or, more likely, turn towards me for a treat).
And 'Charlie, Give' - I trained that one, natch.

OH and Charlie get by just fine.