i need to have a little vent.. I've been working really hard on training recall with Stanley but when it comes to other dogs, he just loves them too much. I'm still trying but it usually fails. So at the moment I always pop him on his lead and sometimes (about 1 in 10 times) I will ask the owner if he can say hello. But usually we just walk past then I let him off again. I assumed this was pretty universal in our house. He goes to daycare and has a dog walker so he gets plenty of interaction with other dogs anyway, without him needing it on his walks. Me & OH tend to walk Stanley separately depending on work etc but it was a nice night last night so we all went. I saw two other dogs approaching so I popped him on his lead and OH asked why. When I said it was because I didn't want him running up to other dogs his response was "aww but he loves to play". I was like do you let him run up to other dogs. My training failure becoming clearer and clearer by the second and said yes if the dogs are off their lead, he loves to say hello. I explained we needed him to focus on us and he should only be saying hello when we say it's Ok. He told me to stop being so tight and recalled this "hilarious tail" of him chasing a sausage dog for ages. My face was getting more and more . I said what about on lead dogs because he runs up to them too and he said he tries to. I said what if that dog is aggressive/injured and he was like well he's only playing and he'd be able to run away if it was on its lead. I tried to explain/reason but I just kept being told I was being uptight and poor Stanley should be allowed to play. So I know it went in one ear and out the other and he's just going to carry on as he is. Which will no doubt end up in Stanley or another dog getting hurt and me filing for divorce Sorry for the long rant, but I needed to share it with people who understand!
Oops! Several of us are still waiting for Pippa's new book "How to train your Significant Other" (....we can only hope ) I feel your pain.
I understand your frustration! It's very difficult when you have different methods. My OH used to really annoy me as he let Harley pull on the lead. It took me ages, but she now walks nicely on lead, but only for me! They do learn to differentiate in time. We don't walk her together that often and OH walks her alone maybe once a month or so so it doesn't damage what I teach her.
Smacks head! I feel the pain..... Last year in the U.K. ... Me : So did you have a nice walk? OH : Yes,I rang Mark and we headed up to his top field with his 2 labs. Me: Ah nice,did Dex behave himself ? OH : Yeah he got a bit excited after they'd chased all the rabbits away so I just put him in the car while we had a glass of wine! Silence .......... and near divorce !!!!!
You all know the theory that we get into relationships with people who are similar to significant attachment figures in our lives? What if...we choose dogs like that too? Or we choose OH's that are similar to the dog types we are attracted to?...What if...we are all in relationships with human labradors?
I find it hard to do all the training feeding looking after and exercising of 2 and 3 dogs but I don't mind when I hear stuff like this. I feel very sorry for you. My oh does not help at all but he does not interfer or undermine what I do.
i like the idea but you've never met my Oh. He is a very nice man but very eccentric however he is very hairy
I just find it infuriating. OH loves Stanley but he hasn't done any significant training with him. He loves showing off all of the tricks that he can do (that I taught him). But I think when it comes to general behaviour he just assumes Stanley got better with age and doesn't think about the hours of training I put in to help him get better. Maybe if I'd never found this forum I'd be a bit more like he is. But I'm glad I did because I just think of dogs like Mabel and Charlie and how much work went into their recoveries. I'd hate for it to be my dog that ruined all that hard work
We have the same thing going on in my house! I am working on "total recall" with Abner but have not tried it outside yet. I do let him off leash outside on walks but when I see a dog in the distance I leash him. Abner will not listen at all if he sees another dog so I don't want to give him he opportunity to not listen. Also, I used to have a VERY dog aggressive German shepherd and I hated when people's dogs would run up to her while she was on leash. People would shpuld "it's ok my dog is nice!" Ok well... my dog isn't and now she is all worked up because your dog just ran up to her. I think you are 100% doing the right thing. Sometimes my fiancé doesnt understand my training techniques he just thinks that Abner will automatically be good.
Why don't you suggest your husband take Stanley for training? My husband took Snowie to a course and it transformed things for him, gave him a set of tools that he found invaluable and made him far more interested in training. Although it is a lesson one learns, that everyone is individual and sometimes we have to let go. If you're planning having kids together, at least you have forewarning of how you both might approach things differently! This might be a good opportunity to start discussing differences in opinions no matter how difficult it might feel.
I feel your pain ! Bella is a work in progress as far as pulling when she is out for walks.... I have been working REALLY hard with her and we have a routine that I stick to religiously . Step 1 .....as soon as we walk out of the back door and she walks next to me ..click and treat Step 2 ....we get to the front gate ..she waits patiently for the gate to open and walks through it next to me ...click and treat Step 3 ......we start walking down the street ..every time she walks close to me ..click and treat ... you get the drift ...lots of clicking and treating and I have to admit even though she can be a pain its slow progress and she is getting better .... Anyway long story short I came home from work today to a welcome of "I thought you said she was not pulling as much and was getting better ...I have just taken her for a walk and she dragged me EVERYWHERE " When I checked Bella's treat Bag was in EXACTLY the same spot where I left it so of course I checked if my "routine" had been followed .....of course it wasn't and I discovered never was when the OH took her for walks ..this is despite SEVERAL conversations in the past ref the "routine" and despite my insistence that the OH always carries a clicker with her . So the penny has dropped ...no wonder progress is so flipping slow !! I swear from now on when I go to work I am going to pack Bella's leads and harness up and take them with me !
Now that is a bit worrying! My OH comes from a family of 5 brothers and sisters. One habit he got into as a nipper, was saving his chocolate at Easter, and only eating them when his siblings had finished, so he was the only child with any chocolate. Now Benson does this with bones, or raw eggs. He watches the other 2 devour theirs, then gently starts to eat his, even parading his bone first,,,,Go figure...
@Dalliance I wouldn't worry too much. I'd give my OH a bag full of treats when we went out together at the weekend..and it's still be full when we got back because "Coco didn't do anything to deserve a treat". I've give up stocking the bag for him for walks. And I definitely wouldn't trust him with a clicker. I'm not saying my timing is perfect, but someone who is not 100% on board would probably be very poor with a clicker. Coco continues to improve and walk nicely for me . OH, however, is often hear to say "I wish he wouldn't pull so much" - I mutter, under my breath, "that's because you let him" Bella will keep getting better for you. I'm not sure how much delay we get in improvement with the applied dual standards, but it's not worth falling out over.
This would absolutely be me and OH if he did any of the training/walks (he's done 4 solo walks since we got her). He's super laid back and relaxed and I'm...absolutely not. The other evening I asked him to walk Xena so that I could get a head start on dinner. I sent Dawn with him because she may be small but she can set him right (yeah right). They get home and D exclaims "Xena didn't go to the loo at all!". Me "" "Dad says you let her muck around too much" So my dog who usually marks at least a handful of times on an evening walk didn't wee once, and obviously he didn't even let the poor pooch sniff because "she can sniff at home". AGHHHHHHH the walks are for her you big oaf. I mean, the sniffing drives me mad at times too, but he didn't slow down enough to let the poor dog wee, let alone sniff!
After OH saw how upset I was about the whole thing we have reached a sort of compromise.. He will try not to let Stanley run up to other dogs and put him on his lead. But he will ask the other owner if Stanley can play and then let him off. Although it's not my ideal, it's better than nothing and he's showing willing. Sometimes I wish he didn't love the dog so much then I could be left to my own thing
