There are days where I wonder about having a dog.

And I know Harley is a very easy going dog. But I have to confess that I am still an absolute cat person. They are so easy. Days like today where I have had a difficult week, I am tired in my soul and I know I am going home to a dog that I have committed to given attention to...feels like I made the wrong decision. I was the one that wanted the lab. DH actually wants a Rottie. So believe it or not Harley is supposed to be my dog. I really suck at training her and I am not at a point in my life where I have the time or desire to immerse in the training experience. I have a super responsible job and when I get home, sometimes, I just want to stare at the wall. lol. Not really but you get the picture. My brain is tired and I don't want to observe and reward exactly right and prevent challenging behaviour from having the opportunity to develop. There is a number of reasons I don't have children but one of them is that I am lazy. I can't do what people do with selfless behaviour and competence. Or rather I choose not to. So none of this is actually about Harley. It is just a Friday afternoon vent.

 

Haha - I keep wanting a kitten but then think 'I couldn't cope with night time prowling and furniture clawing' and change my mind.

This has been going on for years

I simply adore the challenge of puppies - but cats? I'd love one if they could be trained! A ginger kitten is what I hanker after.


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Oh Boogie, they can be trained. Not in the same way as dogs but our cats understand that NO or STOP means just that. They know what OFF means, they don't go in the kitchen or climb on the counters and they come to bed when we do. There is no night time prowling. They sit for food and the one even gives paw. Pook fetches balls and paper scrunched up. They can be lots of fun.

 

I always had cats growing up and had one (Smudge) soon after we were married. I think I would give in to the urge, but OH really dislikes cats. I sneaked Smudge in gradually as she adopted me at work initially

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You sound like you've just had an utterly exhausting s*** week. I sympathise, I feel like that sometimes with 1 difference. I get home and let Molly do all her crazy loving welcomes all over me. All 'get down', no jumping on people, behave sensibly training stuff goes out the window and I just revel in her unconditional pleasure at seeing me.

Poor you, I hope you get some 'you' time over the weekend and can enjoy Harley when you feel a bit stronger x

 

@Harley Quinn, I hear you loud and clear. I love my girl to bits but I feel exactly the same as you sometimes, exactly the same. I think "oh no, not another walk" or "I really want to go to x, y or z but I can't leave the pup alone" or "I want to stay in bed all day"!

I've had a mad and exhausting week at work (in mental health) and just want to flop on the sofa.

Sometimes I would rather stick pins in my eyes than, as you say, be finely attuned to every little training need.

But it must be normal to feel like this I figure. I'm pretty good most of the time.

I'm a mum too and being a mum is also a pain in the a**e despite loving my boy to bits!

I'm not a cat person either, sometimes it's just the quiet life I seek.

Hang on in there and wait for some of that Harley love to seek you out. Either in or out of one of her coats!

 

We are in the same profession. I work at an acute psychiatric hospital.

Thanks for the responses and understanding everyone

 

I think Snowie is a one-time dog for all the reasons you state @Harley Quinn - I want that selfish life back. Right now my schedule is definitely arranged around him. My walk routes are around him. Even the people I hang out with are around him (don't see friends much who can't handle a big dog around, and many people I see aren't actually friends, but just people who have dogs).

I also don't have kids because the responsibility would make me terribly anxious - I think.

My sister, on the other hand, always has at least two dogs. And she has four kids. And she lives The Life, very sociable, etc. I think it's a personality thing. She walks her dogs once or twice a day and doesn't worry the rest of the time. Her life is too busy for worrying. And her dogs have each other (she says). Ah! Maybe that's where we're going wrong: we need TWO dogs, not one!

 

Sorry you're having such a bad day.I always admire your sense of fun and how supportive you are to everyone. I hope you can get a rest and a bit of peace.

 

It's Friday it's OK to be tired and let off a little steam. Puppies and dogs can be exhausting but personally I wouldn't have it any other way as it keeps me active, Hattie & Charlie too, they are so worth it. I have four children (only one at home now ) all grown up and gone two dogs and a husband who works 14 hours per day and travels overseas quite a bit. I think it also depends on your job, I used to work with pre school special needs children which was demanding but now I just do Pets as Therapy work with Hattie. I dread to think what will happen if I stop xx

Get some rest it's the weekend now!! xx

 

Oh boy! We all have days like these...I am often comatose on a Friday...sadly our dogs don't get "lie-ins" on the weekend......

 

Helen, you're just amazing and put many of us to shame!

 

Oh I'm absolutely not amazing that's for sure. Everyone leads busy lives just in different ways, we all have different burn out rates too xx

Now that's an amazing job, worthwhile but emotionally draining. So you go flop on the sofa x

 

There are times I get home from a busy day and am slumped on the sofa and Homer starts to stare at me, and stare, stare, stare, then the occasional little yap bark and more staring, then I give in put my shoes on pick up his lead and ball and we go down to the river to play. Engaging with him, watching him dance and bounce up and down and splash in the evening sun I feel energy seeping back into my stuffy head.

 

We had the most amazing big ginger Tom called Albert. I still miss the way he put his paw up to your face to draw you closer for a kiss on the nose.

 

@Harley Quinn , I too get where you are coming from, although I wouldn't rather have a cat than a dog.

I love Cassie totally, there's no doubt about that. But the hardest time is coming home from work as a district nurse and knowing that another being needs me now , totally. Yes I love that she's pleased to see me, and I want to take her to the woods or lake and see her happy. But oh boy some days would I like to crash out first for an hour. I no longer work full time and just love spending time with when I don't work, in the early days I did feel the lack of freedom but I no longer do.

Perhaps go easy with yourself on the training front... as long as she's a well behaved companion what else matters? Isn't there in psychiatry/psychology, such a thing as "the goodenough" parent? Can there be "good enough" dog owners?

 

I'm all for the good enough dog training and a lot if other things. We put too much pressure on ourselves.

 

@Harley Quinn Please don't beat yourself up , you have had a rotten day/week/month , we`re only human and things can sometimes weight us down , it all gets a bit too much . Just on a personal level , I cant imagine not having my two dogs , they give me a purpose . I`m almost 70 years young , have adult children and 16, yes 16 grandchildren and a great grandson . My husband , already disabled, had a stroke two years ago , at times he is " challenging " and so my dogs can be salvation for me , a reason to escape ! I`m not a mad trainer either, theres more to life than trying to achieve a perfect dog, because no matter what effort you put in, it aint going to happen ! Have a lovely weekend , and try not to be hard on yourself x

 

You're absolutely right @selina27 about being 'good enough' as a parent. I work with pregnant and postnatal women with mental health problems and I'm always talking about being just good enough.

I agree that having a well behaved companion doesn't have to mean endless hours of training. I like the way you put that, we can choose to take some of the pressure off ourselves can't we?

 

I was incredibly busy and exhausted a lot of the time when we had Boogie. I had a full time teaching job and two toddlers. He didn't get anything like the time and attention my dogs do now.

But he was a happy, healthy, sociable, well cared for dog who live 19 good years, just a couple of months off 20.

Give yourself the breaks - you deserve them.