Hi there, I'm sorry that this is a bit of a rant but I think you guys are receptive and I hope you won't mind me letting off steam! On a walk this evening we came across a lady walking a sort of long gangly spaniel cross, off-lead. Fine, it was an off lead area, but I happened to have my dog on a lead. This spaniel suddenly perked up and came hurtling towards us really quickly, which made me rather alarmed. The owner made a weak attempt at a recall, which wasn't really a recall, it was more of a distraction (that wasn't very distracting!). I am not 100% comfortable with other dogs, mostly when the owner has no control. This dog showed no interest in my dog. Instead, it flung itself on me, jumping and pawing and mouthing. All things that I really feel uncomfortable with in terms of polite etiquette on a walk! I turned my back and the owner very slowly walked toward us as I was grappling, trying to stand still and trying to keep calm so as not to worry my dog, who actually remained totally calm and placid. I said to the lady 'if you cannot successfully recall your dog then you should keep him on a lead.' She said 'he's only puppy' and stormed off. I know this wasn't aggressive behaviour, but still, I don't really think it's entirely acceptable. I am cross that she either wrong assumed that as I wasn't walking a dog I wouldn't mind someone else's hurtling itself at me, or thinks that everyone should be tolerant of being jumped on and mouthed because her dog is 'only a puppy'. I'm sorry to rant, and I hope you don't think my reaction is excessive, but I just feel frustrated.
It really is so frustrating..... I think your response was totally reasonable. Should be on a lead (and owner needs to immediately start training a proper recall).
No, I don't think you're reaction is excessive, you are not to know her dog is only a puppy, and if it is it's up to her to manage it accordingly. I work hard on my young dogs recall, and don't expect other members of the public to bear the brunt of her boisterousness and exercise her where I'm least likely to cause negative affect until her recall is more reliable. Of course mistakes can happen to all of us, but storming off is not really the way forward.
You're right to feel frustrated. She should have at least apologised. I wonder how she would have felt if your dog had reacted and pawed and mouthed her puppy?
Oh dear, I seem to feel differently to you all. I wouldn't be cross, but would be understanding, it is difficult with a young dog as they have not yet understood all the training. Of course, if the owner of the other dog didn't appear to be concerned, then I may feel a little frustrated, but most people are trying their hardest, non of us can be perfect.
I"m sure I was guilty of using the " he's only a puppy" comment when apologising for H's behaviour when he was young. Although I would be frustrated that the owner did not respond faster and with more urgency.
I have definitely been that owner who makes a mistake and their dog runs up to someone, so I generally feel sympathetic when it happens with someone else's dog (and secretly proud it is not my fault for once). But, when it is me at fault I sprint up to get my dog and am profusely apologetic, and generally feel awful about it for a good few days. So I think it shouldn't be the dog running up and failing a recall that is annoying (as this happens to the best of us sometimes), but the owner's attitude afterwards. A rapid response and genuine apology goes a long way!
If she was apologetic then yes, you overreacted. If she didn't apologise then that was rude of her, but for all I know she didn't even get the chance to apologise before you made your comment. Dogs happen, and maybe she assumed that you'd be understanding as you were there with your dog. Most of us here know what it's like to be *that* owner with the enthusiastic young dog who embarrasses them by running up to another person/dog - it's awful. And if you're walking in a doggy area then surely you've got to be prepared for something like this to happen. I agree that it shouldn't, but it does. If this is the first time that it's happened to you then consider yourself lucky!
I think @Lara has nailed it for me. She obviously didn't register the obvious body language signals that YOU were giving off @Mooz . Yep, I've also been that owner that can't recall when needed (though thankfully we have a pretty good 4 paws on the floor for owners). I can see both sides here. The glaringly obvious thing was the lack of a friendly/contrite/any apology, for me.
Indeed - I can see both sides too. But she most certainly should have apologised. She was in the wrong. I'm just back from a walk with Mollie. I put her back on lead several times due to people either on their own or with dogs on leads. If their dogs are on the lead I always put her on. The dog may be on restricted exercise and recovering from injury, the last thing they need is a crazy pup bouncing around. But with people I try to judge it - if it's a child or old person I pop her on lead. I'm lucky, her recall is 100%. Otherwise I try to see their body language first. Mollie is great with people who don't want to talk to her - she walks on by. It's the friendly people I have problems with, they often don't understand Labs and bend down, using an excited voice and - wham! Mollie is all over them. A young man got an eye full of slobber today doing just that - his friends and I laughed. .
One thing I've heard recently, which I've been trying to employ, is to not assume bad intent in these sorts of high-tension situations. She probably didn't storm off without apology because she's rude, it was probably because she felt embarrassed and perhaps personally attacked, when in reality, you weren't attacking her, you reacted the way you did because you are uncomfortable with dogs and this situation put you under a great deal of stress, and your intent was not to make her feel badly. Her lack of making more effort in getting back her dog put you in a bad situation with your anxiety, which in turn, caused you to respond to her in a way that put her back up. I guess for her the lesson is to be more mindful of where/when she has her dog off lead, and for you, perhaps explain why it isn't ok for dogs to come up to you like that. It may go a long way towards mutual understanding. Sorry you had such a stressful encounter, I think it's pretty amazing that you do so well with your dog despite how uncomfortable you are with dogs in general.
I think that's what the main problem is, the attitude of well it doesnt matter if you or your dogs get hurt. He's a puppy/rescue dog so he gets a free pass. They do up to a point with me I'm very friendly and try to be understanding and kind, but sometimes the rude assumption that my dog or I am expendable in their world gets on my t*t's.
Coco can be that dog. I will get there as fast as I can, I will gush genuine apologies, I will leash him, I will stop & chat, I will explain about all our training. I USED to say "he's from Ard Jerkyll" (ManxSPCA), and people understood, but that's too long in his past now. I have no reasonable excuse for his behaviour, other than because he's the way he is, we avoid dogs which is not helping fix it. I find people, on the whole, understanding of my efforts. My dog does need off-lead exercise & I am truly sorry my dog isn't anywhere near perfect. I am working on it. Daily.
all ours dogs have moments but we all try hard to do better i just don't like excuses used like my dogs always attacks dogs with testicles. I for one truly admire what you've achieved with Coco he really is wonderful
Thank you for your replies. Yes, I hear both sides of the argument also. I mean, it's quite possible that this lady has told all her friends that she met a rude dog owne in the woods who was not sympathetic to her situation! And, of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I am fairly certain, given her body language and lack of eye contact at the time that she was going to walk straight past me without engaging in conversation, hence why I piped up. But, admittedly, I could have made my point it in a slightly more tactful manner. And, she could simply have been embarrassed. I have, of course, been jumped on before. In fact it happened once last week. It's just that most dog owners try to stop the dog from bothering people as soon as they possibly can, and are most apologetic, whereas I was left in a quandary grappling with her dog for at least 40 seconds while she walked up to us. I know not everyone is the same, and I appreciate that I probably view the situation differently because I always assume that people are like me and don't wish to be bothered and jumped on, whereas that's not necessarily the case. We all have lessons to learn. My frustration has decreased. I hope that perhaps her view of the event has also mellowed and that perhaps she has learnt something, too.
