Life has been pretty overwhelming the past few months. I've had some health issues that are either a worsening of some autoimmune issues I've had, or Lyme Disease recurring, or both. I've been extremely lax in training Bessie and I feel like I've lost her. She's not that focused-on-me, attentive, eager-to-please pup from a few months ago. But she also just turned one year old less than a month ago and despite early spaying (not my choice, she was a rescue), adolescence is in full force. She's pushy and demanding. She paws Burke hard and I've been in the way a couple of times and gotten scratched/bruised. She's 63 pounds of solid muscle and strength. She does what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. I've not been able to socialize her much, either. She got a ton when young, but since about six or seven months old, not so much--first winter and now this illness. I'm feeling a bit better, so I'm going to do more socialization, and I'm going to refresh her training and work on hand targeting, which I think will help with her focusing on me/my commands. About the only thing I haven't messed up is her recall, but I don't have a formal command yet. Just at the point where yelling any old thing happily makes her come running. Someone remind me I haven't ruined this pup and gently steer me to where to start? I know I just need to do a few minutes a day and not get overwhelmed, but I could use some help focusing beyond, "OK, hand targeting." Thanks.
So sorry to hear you're having to put up with a long-term health problem. I imagine a young Lab must be quite trying at times if you're not feeling well. If Bessie is still coming when you call then I'd say that's great and you certainly haven't messed up - I think recall is more important than anything. I've just started following this site and would recommend it - it's always reward based training: https://game.absolute-dogs.com/focus-on-me The presenters are a bit irritating with their OTT full-of-the-joys-of-spring style, but the actual content is good if you fast forward to that. If you are physically able to play tug with your dog, it's great to keep them focused on you and it doesn't have to be rough or a tug of war. The way I play it is quite gentle and involves Molly dropping the rope every 20 - 30 seconds or so. Otherwise how about training retrieve - either just fetching a ball or a more formal style. I hope you start to get better and can enjoy Bessie.
Thanks Joy! Those are great ideas. I'm so brain foggy from the Lyme that I really forgot I could in fact just stand there and have her do frisbee or ball retrieves. She loves to retrieve. Tug is a great one for inside and we haven't done that in forever. We had been going on long walks and since I haven't been able to for a few weeks, I notice a big difference in her energy and focus--she's so much more hyper around the house when underexercised. I'll check out that link, too. Thanks again!
You haven't ruined her! Labs love to learn, and as soon as you start to focus on her training again you will see it in her! I have personally seen dogs donated to an organisation at 11 and 12 months old - with little to no training or socialisation - be trained as Guide Dogs and Service Dogs!
This, so much this. I think some of my emotions around this are because I'm annoyed and exasperated with her zoomies and over-the-top behavior and do not have the energy to deal with it, and feel badly when I'm frustrated with her for just being a one-year-old pup with tons of energy. Yet I know I "should" be walking and playing with her more to help her settle better in the house. With daily long walks, she is a joy. A tired dog is a good dog and all that. Right now she's taking out her frustrations on her older brother, who's very patient, but he's 8 and has limited energy for her puppy craziness, himself.
Could you find someone to walk her for you sometimes? (Sadly I don't think you're anywhere near me.) How about borrowmydoggy.com ?
I'm so sorry you're struggling at the moment. Doing the young ones with a chronic illness is exhausting and difficult isn't it! I put Libby on borrowmydoggy for this very reason, knowing I can't sustain long walks every single day...we got her when I was coming out of a relapse of my neuromuscular condition and I'm really hoping it's a few years until the next. I do feel for you, I really do. Don't be afraid to ask friends and neighbours for help, people are very happy to be asked.
I really feel for you. I also suffer from auto immune problems which flare up and compound my physical problems leaving me reeling with exhaustion and hardly able to string a sentence together! Some days I just throw in the towel and hand them over to my very capable dog walker or ask my dad/husband for a hand. I even have a fab kennels 15 mins away which has separate chalets. They stay in one huge kennel called the Ivy complete with a 2 piece suite for them. /My one piece of advice, give yourself a break, don't feel guilty, find a nice kennels/ day boarding or home boarding, stick them in there and enjoy a duvet day (or two.)
Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone. I can't separate them too easily, as I have a very tiny house with only one separate room that is currently missing a door. But he's really good with her, and gets her to back off if he wants a break. I'm single, solo, live in a VERY isolated place, and I honestly don't have any friends who can help me. I'm a 20-minute drive from basically anyone at all. My two closest friends just moved away, and they were an hour away before! (Now they're a 2-day drive. ) Day boarding: I'll have to look into it again, but another side effect of the physical issues is that my income is down--I'm self-employed. So that seems pricey, plus I have to drive at least 30 minutes each way to drop them off for boarding. I'll check out borrowmydoggy, thanks! Just got back from doc with a new med that may help things, so crossing fingers. Still a couple weeks out from actually addressing the Lyme if that's what it is.
Oh darn, looks like borrowmydoggy is just UK and Ireland. We need one in the US! I will see if I can find something similar.
Sounds like you've been dealing with a string of things lately, which is no good. You definitely haven't broken your doggie. Picking up your training again always works, even if you have to go back to some of the basics for a bit. And don't feel bad - we all let it slide at times. And you've definitely had good reasons. Hand targeting is a good thing to start with. Another good thing would be to capture and reward attention on you - so, when she looks at you use your marker word or clicker and then give her a treat. Once she's doing that pretty often you can add in a verbal cue so then you have a cue to get her attention. It's also fun to play scent type games, where you hide little bits of treat round the house at doggie height and then encourage her to sniff them out.
Thanks for this! Yes, a bit annoying delivery, but really good info. Started the first game with Bessie today and she responded really quickly. Looking forward to the next videos. This is the kind of thing I really need to build - her focus on me. She's very self-driven, knows what she wants and wants it intensely. Isn't easily redirected. Another one! I was hoping for an easy temperament this time, ha. She's VERY eager to please and smart, though.
Okay, so honestly, the biggest issue is her vocalizing/whining for what she wants. She currently thinks she should have some chicken that's cooling on the back of the stove and she will just stare at it and vocalize even if ignored. She will tug and bite the couch cushions if she isn't getting what she wants. She gets pissed at Burke for laying too close to me and will bark and vocalize at him until something changes. That kind of thing. It's totally annoying and not easily redirected. I end up feeling like I'm telling her "no" and "stop" and whining back at her way too much.
I'm hearing you. My dog Obi is exactly like that. Or was when we got him. Still has the tendency! You can try a few things: - totally ignore the noise and act as if she's not there. Don't look or respond in any way. Be prepared for her to go through a period of trying extra, extra hard to get your attention/assistance in acccessing the chicken. Stay strong! - remove yourself from the scene, behind a closed door (after securing the roast chicken!) - train her to lie quietly on a mat instead (we've trained Obi to wait outside the kitchen when we cook, and to move out of the kitchen on cue) - reward all instances of quiet and relaxed behaviour with a treat - make sure she has enough mental stimulation and activity in her life so she's not looking for her own entertainment all the time (this one is very, very important) - on walks, stop often and just sit. Wait till she's quiet and lies down. Then, as the reward, get up and resume the walk. Use any opportunity you can to show her that being quiet and still is the way to get nice things.
Thanks. All really great ideas. Biggest issue is that she doesn't have enough mental stimulation and activity in her life right now due to me barely coping because of my health issues. And I'm so wrung out that ignoring consistently is not easy. I have taught her to lie quietly in the kitchen but it's limited to when I'm in there cooking/prepping. She throws herself down dramatically and looks expectantly because she knows she gets treats intermittently when she's laying down and food is being prepared. But otherwise, not so much. I need to extend the "settle" cue. She's very settled, when it's on her own initiative. I literally have no closed door behind which to go, so perhaps replacing my bedroom door needs to move up on the list of priorities.
What about a baby gate in the doorway (that you can quickly step over)? Would have to be something she wouldn't think of jumping over....
I have one for my bedroom and could do that, but she does try to jump over. When she's behind it and I'm on the other side she whines and puts her paws up and generally creates a big ruckus trying to get to me.
Thanks, all. I was really inspired by the Relationship Power Training videos that @Joy posted the link to, and I think it's exactly targeted to my biggest issue with Bessie. I realize that a lot of it is that a lot of our interactions are simply cuddling together while she sleeps (she lays on me or next to me while I work a lot of the day and on my bed at night). And that I need to work on our relationship, and me being more interesting than the 25 acres of wilderness and beyond outside, and her brother Burke with whom she can spar any time she likes. While that gives her good exercise all day, our play together has ben lacking more than anything. She has a lot of positive exciting things in the environment and I need to be positive and exciting too, more so than any of those things. So, going to do what they suggest in one video (and there's more to it than this, I highly suggest watching them, 3 of 4 are up now, the next one will be up in a day, and they'll remove them from the web in a week or something buy a lunge whip and put a sheepskin/fluffy toy on the end and basically use it as a flirt pole. Engaging prey drive but while engaged with YOU, too. (I actually think this will also help Burke if I can get him to do it, and that the next step for him and me is fixing our relationship, too. If I want him to be able to take the next step and not be aggressive. Because if he feels threatened, he does not hesitate to growl, bare teeth, and snap, even at me. This has gotten worse lately. I am going to have his thyroid checked again. Right now I know his triggers, they're very specific, and rigorously avoid them so he doesn't have a chance to rehearse aggression. But this is a whole other post. But basically I think engaging his prey drive and him being able to catch and bite at something will help redirect some of that energy while I work on calming him, too.) And I'm sure some of it is not having worked with her individually a lot lately, too. So, back to that. I am finally feeling better enough to walk a little bit most days, enough to give the dogs some stimulation and tire them out a little. But the other games in their videos have been great for focus on and relationship with me, and they're things I can easily do in the house for now without physical exertion.
