Hi all We bought Holly home yesterday and she was a complete star all day ☺ Last night we put her in her crate and left her in the kitchen. She cried for 20 minutes and then settled down. I got up at 2:30 am to take her out for a wee, put her back in her crate and went back to bed. Again, she cried for 20 minutes and then settled down. Then, at 3:30 am she started howling. She sounded so distressed that after half an hour I felt I needed to check on her. she was fine, her crate was clean etc. I am now sat downstairs and she has gone to sleep in her crate! I know I have done the wrong thing and feel cross with myself now. When I was little and we had dogs, they always slept either on the bed or in the bedroom. We never used crates. Our dogs grew up fine - clean and with no anxiety about being alone. Leaving a 9 week old puppy downstairs alone felt really wrong to me but on the other hand we don't want to raise a dog who can't be left. Please help!
Don't be so hard on yourself! Of course she's going to protest when she's in a new home away from her litter mates. It's natural you wanted to check she was ok. If you want her to sleep in your bedroom you can, loads of people on this forum have their pups in their bedroom, either in a crate at the side of the bed or on a dog bed. Some people move the crate away from the bedroom gradually over a few days, when the pup settles, to the place they want the pup to be, other pups never leave! Others stay downstairs at night so the pup is aware of their presence and it makes it easier to go in and out for toilet breaks. Others still might take up roost next to wherever the pup is and gradually move away. I think the main thing is that you only respond to your pup when she's quiet, even if there is only a split second when this is the case. As for needing to be able to leave your pup, this is something you can still build up to, wherever she sleeps, just by popping out of the room she's in for a second and returning or going into the garden where she can see you through the window etc, but all in good time. My pup took to being left quite easily, other pups take a bit longer to feel comfortable with it. You might want to search the forums for 'leaving pups alone' because there are plenty of helpful threads. Finally, if you're beating yourself up already you're going to drive yourself crazy! Puppy rearing, I have found, is a work in progress. I've made plenty of mistakes, things I wish I hadn't done or had done differently but my 9 month old girl is happy and healthy. Try to relax and enjoy!
Hi Holly' Mum, it is just the first day of your life together. Plum's Mum is right stop being so hard on yourself. Take the crate up into your bedroom if that is what you want. It is your puppy. Have you got the book "The Happy Puppy book" by Pippa? If not I would get a copy, you will find it very helpful. Take a look at the link below http://www.thelabradorsite.com/labrador-puppy-training/ Now don't forget, deep breath, its another day. All will be ok
No, you haven't messed up at all! She's bound to feel lonely and strange at first, but it sounds as if she's made a really good start and just got a bit anxious during the night. It's really early days! Time will tell whether Holly's a chewer or not, so as she seems relatively settled in her crate it would be as well to continue with that. Make it like a safe, cosy den for her, but you can change its position at night if that helps and you decide to have her in your room. You can always move it back for night time later, as Plum's mum suggests. It's only in recent years that I've used crates for my dogs and now I'm a convert! It has saved me worrying about a puppy chewing dangerous things when I'm out and has given 'time out' space to a tired puppy without having to shut it away separately. It has also been invaluable to have a puppy (and adult dog) already used to a crate when it needed crate rest after spaying, leg ops, etc. It can sometimes help to have some background noise in the room, such as a ticking clock or leaving the radio on softly. I hope you have a good day with Holly today and she settles well tonight.
Morning @Holly's Mum , please don't beat yourself up already! I think you've had great advice already so I've nothing to add but to say hello from me and 15 month old Cassie, not my first dog but my first Lab, this Forum has been so helpful and supportive. Have a good day with little Holly
Thank you all ☺ How can a puppy that small howl that loud?!! I am going to put her crate in our bedroom tonight and see what happens. I just had a shower and as soon as I disappeared behind the shower curtain she started howling. Holly is very vocal. Not barking but general whining and groaning a lot of the time. Is this normal? I have read The Happy Puppy book cover to cover but have also been given conflicting advice. I guess that all puppies are different and there is no hard and fast rule! Thank you all for being there and helping ☺
I think that's the thing you have to remember, my rule of thumb is to lesson to advice and find what works for you. Have you tried covering the crate with something like an old blanket, which makes it like a den?
You have not done wrong at all. In the early days we are getting to know the pups and they are all different. I raise Guide Dog pups. It takes a while for them to settle in, everything is very new. I simply can't bear the howling. Ours often cry on the way from the van to our home as that's the first time they have been separated from their litter mates. Most puppy walkers pick their pups up from the van, I can't do it, I can't bear the cries - so my friend picks mine up and delivers them At bedtime I always sit by the crate until they go to sleep in the early days. I have a air bed all ready to sleep by the crate if needed, so far they have settled well within a few days and then I stand by the door while they go to sleep. Some have needed more reassurance than others (and all our pups are very bold, they are bred and selected for boldness) I talk about being consistent a lot - and it is important - but give yourself a week or so to decide what you want/need to be consistent about. .
I don't think you did the wrong thing in going to your puppy when she was distressed - I think it was the right thing to do. After all you want her to know that you are the one who will sort everything out for her. I've never left a puppy to cry, and in fact have had each in my bedroom with me for the first few weeks until settled, and have experienced very few broken nights. I've also never used a crate - I accept that many people find them useful, but they're not compulsory! I hope you have a nice day and a better second night.
@Holly's Mum, just wanted to say, Holly is beautiful, those ears are heavenly . Re the noise: a friend said to me when I got Plum "just put earplugs in and close the door." Well, I think I'd have needed to be in a house in a different street with earplugs in to not hear the noise Plum emitted!
Hi Holly's mum, My little wee pup will be 12 weeks on Monday... Yes my puppy was louder on her first night then I thought, even when I moved her to the furthest part of my lounge! It was a hard road for me too, I'm just starting to feel better. I think just relaxing and do what works for you, and just growing and learning along with the puppy. This has been my first dog/ puppy...
Yes you want to be able to leave your dog alone for times but think, she went from the company of Mum and siblings to all alone for hours her first night with you. She needs to learn how to be alone in baby steps at first, she's a baby. Mere minutes, maybe even just seconds. Why did you get up at 2:30? Was she rustling around? If she was quiet and asleep I'd leave her. Body functions slow down at night so the pup who needs out every half hour in the day time might sleep through the night. OUr first pup did. We only got up with Oban when we heard him moving around. He was in the kitchen too, and us upstairs, but he's a very confident dog, pup, and only shrieked the first night when he was wet and did need out. I don't agree with the old advice to ignore a crying puppy any more than to ignore a crying baby. There is a reason. Oban was wet. Others are alone for the first time and frightened or lonely or bored. You don't have to crate if you don't want to. As you say, dogs matured just fine before crates. Used properly I have no problem with them but ours had the door open all the time and was in our gated kitchen. We did still use some kind of containment, the kitchen. I remember childhood puppies, they stayed in our barred kitchen too. Huge caveat on the kitchen, or any room, they can wreck a room and hurt themselves. Don't feel badly. Puppies are resilient. I think you did it right when you did get up to reassure a frightened, lonely little baby puppy in her new home for the first time.
I do fully understand that this is a massive change for her. I got up at 0230 hrs as I was advised to do this as a matter of routine as she is too young to go through the night without relieving herself. The moment I leave her sight, even for one minute or less she literally screams. I am not blaming her - I understand that she is only 9 weeks old and has only been here for a day. I just find the howling and screaming worrying and upsetting and as if I just want to pick her up and give her a big cuddle ☹
Wait for a break in the screams and go back, so long as you return during a quiet moment she won't get the idea that shouting brings you running. This sound is natural and what tiny pups do to let their Mum's know something is very wrong. They don't do this when left in the nest as they know they are in a safe den. But, until she associates her bed with a safe den then she'll shout for you (her new Mum - she knows that already ). So the safer you make her feel now, the sooner she'll settle. I take my pups everywhere with me, even to the loo, in the first few days - apart from night times. Then I leave them for seconds at a time at first, slowly building it to minutes and then an hour by six months old. . .
I'm so sorry that I must sound so negative ☹ I thought we had prepared really well but it's still a shock. She bites really hard. I knew that puppies are nippy but I had no idea she would bite so hard. I have Fibromyalgia and am in pain much of the time so when she bites she is hurting even more than she usually would. This is in no way her fault but whilst I feel I can deal with everything else I really don't think I can cope with weeks or months of being bitten ☹
I've read the 'biting' article but am still unsure. Holly bites our feet. It hurts too much to just stand there but as soon as we move away she thinks its a chasing game bless her. We have a gate in the house but in the garden we can't searate ourselves from her. She is very determined and even offering her a toy or treat most often doesn't work. She is a very smart dog and already has things like that sussed ☺
Have lots of puppy toys in your pocket and put them in her mouth instead of your hands and arms. If my pups bite my feet or legs I pick them up and put a chew in their mouth, rice bones are excellent for this when they are small. Once they are too heavy for that I either wear wellies (I've had some crocodiles!) or I do the same, put a toy or a chew in their mouth. You need to be very determined, they much much prefer your skin to bite!
The only thing I can suggest since this was me about 4 months ago is that if you want her downstairs in a crate it can get better. After about a week and a half my puppy went the night without crying. The way that worked for me was to only go down if the crying lasts more than 20 mins, they will go to sleep. It's a bit like a human baby. After a while Nelly was silent and asleep. Keep at it. Also, if you do go down, don't say anything just be very clear about the fact that the puppy will not get anything from you if they cry in the night. Keep practical and not fussy. In the first week, I would go down after 20 mins of crying and scoop her up put her outside, see if she wees or poos, if she doesn't, pop her back in and March back up stairs, remain patient and keep it simple and remind yourself that it will get better. The more boring you are the better it will get. Good luck, and she looks gorgeous which always helps!
Make sure you Don't set her up for your coming absence by signalling it with a big cuddle. I have no idea if you are doing this but it sure is tempting to say a loving goodbye and thus tip them off. Same as leaving a child at day care. I know, is this confounding, contradictory and confusing or what?
