My latest guest star: Tibor the Border Collie (or "How I Became a Seeing-Eye Human")

Wishing you a quick recovery, Emily!

My completely amateur opinion is that you're good for Tibor because you're the one who's increasing his chances of getting adopted. It's all very well to be the "fun" parent who's all late nights and McDonald's and ice-cream for breakfast, but just like with kids that's not helpful for Tibor. Goodness, he'd had 2 fosters before you and neither of them dealt with the food and toy peeing - can you imagine adopting a dog and being greeted by that? You're good for him in the long-run

 

Just catching up with your adventures....sorry to hear that you've been struggling. It might be that you will just have to move on, and if you decide that, it's ok! You have done some great work with him already. How are you feeling about it all now?

 

How are you today Emily?

 

Just catching up on this thread. I hope your recovery goes well and you're making the most of your rest. Don't make any rushed decisions about Tibor. You've already made him much more 'user-friendly', but he sounds the sort of dog who's always going to be work in progress and you've contributed so much to that progress.

 

Thanks for the messages! To be honest, yesterday was kind of rough as all the anaesthesia and pain killers caught up with my poor stomach. I basically just had a day-long rest on the sofa and tried to keep my stomach from turning inside out. So to be honest, I didn't give Tibi much thought other than to be grateful he's doing well with his foster mum #2 this week and that I didn't have to try to walk or entertain him. I think having to bend over to pick up poo or try to stuff a Kong with liverwurst would have seriously done me in yesterday.

He's not meant to be coming back until Tuesday, so I'll just play it loose until then. I've also got work to catch up on, so if my stomach co-operates, that's the focus for today.

Well, that and being entertained by whatever cute photos and crocopup tales get posted here on the forum!

 

I hope you soon pick up Emily and feel more like yourself, miserable but I do like the sound of a sofa day, just what the Doctor ordered. Sending get well from us. xxx

 

Thanks, Helen. Feeling much more the thing today and even got down a decent lunch. Still spend the day on the sofa, though!

 

Sigh. Just heard from Tibi's caretaker for this week (foster mom #2) and she's wanting to unload him NOW - so a day earlier than planned and as soon as I'm back from Munich and my doc recheck this afternoon. It's so strange as she seems to love him, he definitely loves her, he's "so easy" and yet she needs to get him out of her place as soon as possible (she's been texting me since Saturday and I've been pushing back). Don't get me wrong, she seems like a very nice person and is clearly very good to Tibi, but there's some background context here that I'm totally missing out on. But that's kind of my life in Germany - I feel totally lost in a cultural void about 60% of the time.

Anyway, I guess I'll be "with dog" yet again this afternoon. Poor Tibi, it's not his fault we're all treating him like a hot potato. I'll try to get my attitude adjustment on and take a fresh approach. Maybe less strict and more unstructured "sniffing time" to balance the walks where I expect him to keep pace and not wee on everything. I thought that being 100% consistent would be easier for him to understand, but maybe it is too much to expect and only makes both of us frustrated.

He's also very good when riding in the car (so far), so maybe I can take advantage of that somehow and take him to someplace outside of town that would be more relaxing for him as noise and people definitely make him harder to walk.

Any ideas of how to do something different with him are welcome.

 

Please don't over tire yourself. Its a bit much to expect you to take him early

 

Have to say, i agree.
I feel you may be taken advantage of a little.
Should you be their default foster for problem dogs just be a use it's tough to say no and you care so much about the dogs?
Sorry

 

I think this is tough - sounds like you have been forced to say yes when you should be having your recovery time. Don't know how many kongs he has a day but all his food in them might give you a bit more down time. Also avoid noise and people as much as possible - it won't do him any harm and might help you. 'Rome wasn't built in a day' and you can't fix his difficulties quickly so be easy on yourself.

 

Oh Emily, that's absolutely not fair on you. I have no advice on the walking, but honestly, culture is no excuse for asking somebody who's just had surgery to take a foster before they're sufficiently recuperated. I'm fuming on your behalf

 

I agree. I'd be exactly the same as you, a bit of a pushover, so I know how difficult it is to feel there is no choice, but I'm still angry on your behalf. You've just had surgery, for the love of baby cheeses, they shouldn't be taking advantage of you like this

 

She can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.
Emily you need to rest and not worry about a dog that needs lots of training.
Turn you phone off

 

I agree with the others. This is unfair. Your wellbeing is important.

You are such a kind and selfless person...I know it's hard to say no...but....I think you should say no.

 

There was a song my late Mother use to sing, I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' .......

Taken from Broadway Musical Oklahoma. Does that remind you of anyone

 

I don't know if I deserve it, but thanks for all the nice messages and indignant reactions on my behalf. You all are a good sounding board for a different viewpoint as my doggie rescue buddy here is more of the opinion I should have taken Tibi back days ago. Opposing opinions are edifying. Plus the residual warm fuzzies, for which I'm always grateful.

Oh yes, I hear these all the time from my one "no BS" friend here in Germany. Right before she asks to borrow my car and dogsit (to be fair, only one of which I DON'T like to say yes to). I know it's a personal problem. Like a BIG personal problem. Which is kind of embarrassing in a woman of my years!

I like this - effective and practical advice!

Mmm...to be fair, this is a bit (oK, a lot) my own fault as I deliberately "undersold" the surgery. Meaning as it was elective and and I didn't want people to make a big deal out of it (or worry it was really to do with a cancer re-occurance), I said it was "minor". In fact, it was 6 hours long and pretty complicated and I still feel pretty much like chopped liver. So I'm going to own it and say I brought a lot of the "why can't you take the dog back 5 days after surgery?" stuff on myself.

On the bright side, I just got back from my re-check in Munich and my concussion is de-cussed (or whatever the correct term is) and all my incisions are healing just as they should. My doc was very pleased. Even told me he'd had worse hospital freak-outs than me, which I'm sure in German is quite the compliment! Right?

 

I agree. I'm planning on all his food coming out of Kongs for the first few days and doing main walks as early and late as possible to make things calmer/easier!

 

Tibor found me. Well, actually his foster mom #2 just kind of showed up at my front door. This is kind of the problem when you live in a small town "in that apartment that used to be the betting shop on the main street" that everyone seems to know. She was clearly DONE with the whole dog-sitting thing, in a friendly-yet-heck-no-I'm-not-keeping-that-dog-an-hour-longer kind of way.

Poor Tibi was a bit confused about the whole thing but has now had two Kongs, lots of pets and has settled down. We'll just take it step by step and see how it goes. My strategy is going to be chilling out about the strictness of my "no sniff/no wee" policy and lots and lots and lots of Kongs.

May the force be with us.

 

Look after yourself Emily.
You will be no good for anything if you don't put yourself first.
x