Oh yes, I remember that now you say, it seems awful at the time but before you know it will be over. Can you carry her out and about a bit? So that she isn't at risk but can start seeing other things.
You can carry her places - find somewhere to sit and watch the world go by. Does your Vets have puppy parties - you can go before they have all their vaccinations. If you drive, go somewhere each day to break the day up. Does as much socialisation as you can. Do you have friends with dogs (vaccinated of course) - visit or have them visit. Invite people round.
We used to drive into town then carry Bailey to a seat and then watch the world go by - remember socialisation is not just meeting other dogs - it is seeing lots of different things - cars, lorries, people, general noise and hustle and bustle of everyday life. I used to carry Bailey to the bottom of our road, where there is a busy main road and stand there for about 5 mins with him in my arms, talking calmly to him (or if it was raining standing in the bus shelter) I went and stood at the doorway of our local shop and chatted to the owners (their son at the time was afraid of dogs but he loves Bailey as he got used to him as he grew). I really do miss those days - just me and Bailey time when I could hold him close to me. Now we regularly walk along that road to get to an area of grass first thing and last thing every day (Bailey will not toilet in the back garden anymore, so it does mean we have to get fully dressed and take him down the road for any toilet break). Bailey doesn't flinch at traffic at all no matter what goes past.
I feel like I definitely do feel resentful, and it's sad but all I want is this puppy stage to be over. When did everyone start to feel "normal" again?
Hey Kylie! My new puppy arrived home only a few days ago and I completely understand where you're coming from! My partner looks after the pup in the day while I'm in work and I feel anxious thinking he's going to let the puppy run wild through the house all day! I then get home and give him all the attention he seems to need. He's currently having a nap on the floor as I'm typing this and I feel like it's the first part of the day where I've been able to relax! I know I have a late night ahead, a very early start, work, and then repeat for the next day! Trust me, you're not alone!
I'm starting to go back to work tomorrow so she'll have a babysitter, I'm hoping the distraction of work will make me feel better. I feel like I just need a break.
You are not alone! This is not the first puppy I've ever had, but Maisie is definitely the most trying. My husband and I sometimes look at each other and shake our heads, wondering what the heck we got ourselves into. But I know it will all get better! We just have to hang in there.
Today was a hard day for me, I came home from work just feeling really defeated and that I just felt like I couldn't keep it together. Those thoughts are going through my head where I just wanted to give her back but I know that would be absolutely heart breaking to my fiancé. Really needing some support right now as I feel like the people around me don't get it. They just keep telling me to "suck it up" and that I chose this. I'm praying for the day when I can sleep through the night with her and hopefully that will make all this a little better. Any moral support or advice right now would really help me :/
Sorry to hear that you've had a bad day I hope that you're feeling a little better now. I don't have any advice to offer, I just saw your post and wanted to offer a little moral support. I know what it's like because I'm going through the puppy blues myself, so I can relate to everything feeling so hard and secretly wishing that you'd never got them but this forum has been great for support and everyone has reassured me that it does get better. Just try and take care of yourself while you're feeling down.
I was like this earlier this year. It is really really hard especially when we have put ourselves in this situation. I was upset, angry, resentful - you name it, for quite a long time BUT it will pass, honest. Everyday, I would think I can't bear this feeling and I wanted to return my puppy. It all seems very irrational now but those feelings were very very real. I really made myself ill and felt I had made the worst decision imaginable. Can't imagine life without her now - absolutely love her and she is such a lovely dog. Keep posting. Nobody will judge you as many of us have walked in your shoes so we understand. Masses of support got me through. You are not alone .
Also meant to add - no they probably don't. People certainly couldn't understand how I was feeling. After all, we had chosen to get a puppy. I gave up reaching out to them and focussed on posting here to see me through - and it did.
You are not alone in feeling this. It pains me now to remember thinking the same. I've posted on here before about thinking about it and then imagining packing up all her things -- her little bed, her toys, her food bowl putting on her lead and handing her over to someone else. That made me really cry. I love her so much, she's 16 months now. Once they become more dog than puppy it gets better, although I've had some challenges lately I couldn't be without her. I'm going away tomorrow for a few days and she's going to board with the man I go to for training, they adore each other and I know she will be fine but I know I will miss her.
Just hang on in there because it really will get better - and I think you would be devastated to have to give her back too. It's really difficult coping on your own and time seems endless (especially when your sleep is disrupted - my pet hate!) but she'll be good company for you in the future when your fiance is away. You can also look forward to great times to share together.
This is exactly how I feel everyday. I know when my fiance comes home I will feel better (her comes home in a week - thank god) but I panic about when he leaves again and wondering if i can handle it. I went to work for the first time yesterday and was only planning on staying a half day because I was so tired, but then found myself wanting to stay the whole day to almost like escape from her. I keep trying to remind myself that its only been a week, but time is just moving so slowly. I cry at least once everyday with feelings of regret that we shouldn't have gotten her and that we weren't ready and that makes me feel so guilty as well. When did you start to notice yourself starting to feel normal again?
It is harder for you being on your own at the moment. Try to take each day as it comes. I did a whole thread called Puppy Blues (there are a few!) starting in March this year - it charts all the ups and lots of downs of my experience . Yes I was in tears every day and I am in my late sixties - someone who had a career of managing large numbers of people!! I also had my DH here saying it would be ok. It took me probably 3 months to feel like me again - feel a bit pathetic admitting that but that's how bad it was. I lost a lot of weight and I was so sleep deprived. Then bit by bit, my puppy didn't need toilet trips to the garden at night and we got into a good routine and she stopped biting and became so affectionate. My older dog and her started to get along. I could walk her without being pulled around and the blues started to lift .
Please don't fell guilty Kylie, your pup will be very happy with you, however much you muddle through - you are her human.
Everything you're feeling is really normal @Kylie D, even though it's so distressing. I seriously thought about rehoming my pup, I told a friend I was 99% sure I was going to do it, I just felt so miserable and regretful. I contacted Labrador Rescue and they said they could help ( I think she was maybe about 10/11 weeks). But the next day I woke up I couldn't do it and knew I wouldn't, but I felt better that I'd properly considered it. The woman at Lab rescue told me it would start to improve when she was about 4 months old and I really couldn't imagine it, but it did, little, tiny bit by little, tiny bit.
I really feel for you. I haven't had the puppy stage, just a large teenager (got him at 14 months now nearly 19 months) He has had to be left by us from week 1. We had 4 days of settling in then we were back at work. He settle fine but then started chewing about 4/5 weeks in. I'm now 3 pairs of shoes and a pair of expensive riding boots down, as well as a corner of my coffee table missing and various smaller items. We have had 5 or 6 incidences of chewing in this time. I felt like I didn't want to come home as he always seemed to do it on my days to come home at lunch time. Also I got pulled down a big hill and really hurt myself (couldn't walk him for 4 days) all in the same week as a chewing sesh and I just came home and cried. Suggested he may have to go back (never mean it though its all words - we just couldn't and wouldn't do it) It will get better, but it will also throw a curveball and that's to be expected Take photos of the good bits, that cute puppy face, a video of something cute and funny your pup does. When your feeling so frustrated about it all go through them and re-centre yourself to that happy place. This forum is fab for offloading - so keep on doing it when you need to
Don't you worry I felt like that too!! Yep crying and thinking about the possibly of giving her up. And not just feeling like that once! I think I remember feeling a bit better, then down again...bit better then down...
Kylie, I've had my new pup for only a week, he's 9 weeks old now. I took a long time preparing - talking to people, doing the research, reading the books - multiple times. I'm a smart, rational, committed guy, raised two kids successfully and old enough to have experienced the highest highs and lowest lows. Despite all this, the past week has been a really rough go emotionally. I haven't had my own dog for 40 years and I live alone now. I've had a ton of anxiety all week, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach (I swear I might have even dropped a few pounds). The puppy, from the minute he walked into my house, became my only focus 24/7 (except when sleeping, but even then I'd wake up 1 or 2 times to take him potty). The minute he'd settle down to eat or fall asleep, I'd move into prep mentality for our next interaction - review a training maneuver, picking up his waste, going online for some positive puppy reinforcement, etc. Even when things are good with the pup - we play, he sleeps on the floor by my feet, we have a great training session - I'd still be in angst. But, already it's starting to diminish. I realize that this pup is resilient, that it's going to take a while, and I grab ever minute of Chris time I can find and force myself to pause and think about what I need (beyond the glass of wine at 5pm!). I've started calling friends with dogs. I talk to my kids (both dog owners) by phone and I joined this forum. And you know what everyone says? Relax, it'll be fine. I was there too, give it time. Don't overthink it. And on and on. This has helped me a lot - and I'm accepting that the "blues" are part of the process so I'm not going to fret about feeling them. Sorry for the long reply. But I hope this helps in some small way.
