My latest guest star: Tibor the Border Collie (or "How I Became a Seeing-Eye Human")

Welp, for the moment it looks like Tibi is leaving on Sunday. This afternoon I finally emailed mom #2 and said that even if I hadn't talked to mom #2 yet that I needed to let rescue head know that Tibi had no place to go and that she needed to find a solution. I also said that I would say that mom #2 wasn't going to take Tibi, that she'd done enough (she had him for two months plus all the times she took him for me) and that rescue head should leave her in peace.

Almost immediately after THAT text, I got a reply from mom #2 saying thanks so much for understanding and that she'd call me after she got off work.

So I send a very carefully worded text to rescue head. Very clear about mom #2 NOT taking Tibi. About 15 minutes later, here comes a text from rescue head. Long. Rambling. Same story: she has no life (well, can't argue there), doesn't eat (ditto, she weighs nothing), is on the phone about dogs until midnight every night, the amount of money she's spent so far on Tibi. WHY would foster mom #2 do this to her? Why would she say she would take Tibi and then change her mind? Humans are terrible, she's quitting rescue as soon as she can, why did mom #2 say Tibi was perfect but I said he was terrible? Why, why, why???

Good grief.

I replied: Tibi isn't terrible. He's bored and he may have dementia or brain damage: he needs more walks, a garden where he can sit outside, another dog for company...and being adopted by someone who is deaf and doesn't mind having their feet constantly urinated on wouldn't hurt. Oh, no...sorry, I didn't write that last bit.

But I did say that I'd been very clear from the time that I took him that I would not be taking this dog to the UK with me, so for better or worse, a solution needed to be found. And again: don't call mom #2, she is DONE.

Precisely 20 minutes later, I get a text from mom #2. Is it ok if she comes over on Sunday to pick up Tibi?

Well darn.

OK, I already said that that's the best for Tibi. It's certainly good for me because I will have no worries for Tibi whatsoever if I know he's with her. But I am irked that rescue head simply picked up the phone immediately after I very firmly said, "DON'T DO IT" and beat up mom #2 with guilt until she caved. Folded like a cheap lawn chair. Melted like a cake out in the rain. Lost her resolve like candy flying out of a piñata.

My reply to her: are you SURE? Don't get bullied into something you don't want to do.

Her reply back: I'll be ok. Smiley face emoji.

Sigh. Well, she's an adult and if she "wants" to do this, I'm grateful.

So we are back where we were (or where I thought we were) a few days ago with me being happy for Tibi that he's going back to someone he clearly adores. Selfishly, it makes goodbyes much easier for me (though yes, I will still cry..ugh, I'm such a moosh-pot).

Let's all think happy thoughts that (1) mom #2 doesn't change her mind before Sunday and (2) she survives another few months with Tibi.

 

Oh my gosh Emily.
How on earth do you ever get anything done, between actually coping with poor Tibi, and trying to organise his safe keeping, and all the worry worry worry inbetween.
You are going to enjoy the UK break for sure!

 

Well Emily just get to the UK as quick as you can and let them get on with it. There's nowt so queer as folk.

 

It's been a huge time suck, that's for sure. I'm not terribly good at coping with distractions anyway (I have the attention span of a flea) so the stuff with Tibi kind of stretches my work day to infinity. Not so much even taking care of him as we have a routine down a little better now (and I'm much more used to the constant pacing finally) but just the up and down of worrying about what's going to happen to him.

I am very much looking forward to the change in the UK. Right now I have the feeling that I'm jumping off a sinking ship! But to be fair I'm always worried about something, so once in the UK it will be, "Oh no, I have to find the right breeder and get to the right places and not miss seeing everyone and everything I want to see, and, and, and...!" I'm kind of a perpetual stress bunny. Maybe you noticed?

 

Er.....nope.....

 

Just catching up on this, Emily. What a saga! Fingers crossed for Tibi on Sunday, then onwards and upwards for your trip to the UK.

 

Blooming heck, what a fiasco. I wouldn't be surprised if foster mum's coming to the end of her time with the rescue group. It's not fair that she was guilted into taking Tibi back, and hopefully that resentment leads to her polishing her spine and saying "NEIN, ich bin OUT, tchuss". I mean, realistically, what's going to happen to Tibi? Will foster mum end up as his permanent home? It's all very well rescuing special needs dogs, but there has to be a proper plan for them when they reach Germany - that's well above most foster parents' paygrades I'd imagine.

 

I imagine that rescue head told mom #2 that it was temporary and that she'd find someone else. I don't know who is telling what to whom. I'll get it straight from mom #2 on Sunday when she comes to pick up Tibi.

I think he could be adopted, but it will be a tough sell. More likely he will go into a permanent foster home when one becomes available. That's essentially the same as looking for a forever home, but with permanent foster, the rescue group continues to pay for all the dog's expenses. More people are willing to do that as it mitigates the potentially high medical costs.

For now he will go to mom #2 and I have a sneaking suspicion that he will still be there when I return to Germany in December. The only way I see that not happening is if mom #2 does what my Louise-Brooks-lookalike friend told me to do: ties Tibi to rescue head's door, rings the bell and runs for her life. But I hope I'm wrong and he is happily in a permanent caring home by the time I'm back.

To be fair to rescue head, they did have a foster home lined up for Tibi before his transport from Romania. She kept him for two weeks, had to have surgery so he was boarded for a few days and when she came back home she said she didn't want him anymore. Then came mom #2, who had him for a week before starting to text rescue head constantly to ask when Tibi was leaving. This makes me think she was told even at the beginning it was "just for a few days". Finally after two months, foster mom #2 said that her building did not allow 2 dogs per apartment (she has her own dog) and Tibi had to leave by that weekend. Now, I think she was lying about that, but in this case, I totally understand why she had to lie in order to get rescue head to take action. Then I was foster mom #3, while #2 has kept him when I was in the hospital or needed to go to see my doctor in Munich.

Though I still have hope that it will all end up well for Tibi, and certainly this whole adventure has saved his life (that is not in question) it's burnt a lot of human bridges along the way and is a cautionary tale how the best intentions can go very awry and how important the human side is.

Case in point, I would not foster again for this rescue, but I would gladly foster again for the group who gave me Toby/Alf as a foster in Spain. The group in Spain fully disclosed everything from the outset about health and behavioural issues and gave me a deadline and stuck to it. Toby was supposed to be with me for a week, but when their longterm foster fell through, the rescue contact called me and told me they'd arranged a kennel and would pick him up and take him there at the end of the afore-promised week.

It was my decision to say no and keep Toby because I didn't want him to go into a kennel. Then for everything else, my contact made vet appointments, went with me so I didn't have to worry about language, arraigned for the cat test and went with me for that too, called me/messaged me nearly daily to make sure Toby was doing well...and most importantly, kept hammering away to try to find Toby a permanent home. I didn't have to ask her to any of that - she just did it. It really made me feel that even if Toby made my head explode, there was always a solution and they had my back.

No group is perfect and the best plans sometimes backfire, but to me that's a really good model to follow...vs. here where nobody is really happy about anything except (we hope) the dog.

Well, I'll get off my soapbox now. To end on a positive note, I'll just say (again) that I learned a lot and...um... (mmm..something positive....?)....

..."Labratour 2017 rah, rah, here I come!"

 

just want to wish Tibi all the best luck in the world. He does have a chance. Thanks to you, Emily.

 

Well, the era of Tibi is officially over. Foster mom #2 came right on time and they've now sauntered off down the street together. Or in Tibi's case, a more accurate description would be "weaved violently from side to side while whizzing away in intricate patterns on the cobblestones below."

Here's the scoop from mom #2: rescue head has told her that she'll only have Tibi until this Thursday, when he's going 500 km north to a permanent foster in a private home with four other dogs. The woman is semi-retired and lives in a country house with an enclosed garden. Mom #2 had photos on her phone of the woman with her dogs and the house - it looked very nice.

Personally, I'll believe it when I see it - seems rather odd that this just happened right at the moment when rescue head wanted mom #2 to take Tibi from me. But I tend to be a short term cynic and and long term optimist, if that makes sense. Meaning... while I rather doubt that all this will happen next Thursday, I do think that Tibi will eventually get to a good home that suits his needs. Rescue head may not deal with humans too well, but she'll fight to the death to get a dog sorted.

Tibi was (as usual) thrilled to see mom #2. I gave him a big hug and kiss on the head, said good bye, he trotted off, and I came back into my apartment and had a good cry despite the fact that I was SO ready for him to be gone. He has been particularly challenging the last couple days: more wee-ing, more pacing, his normal "flea-nibbles" getting to the point of actually breaking the skin...I've been thinking of the escalation as his last gift to me so I wouldn't be too sad when he left.

So, will I miss him? No. But I'm still sad to say goodbye as that is ALWAYS hard. I whole-heartedly wish him the best and happiest life he can have. Every dog has something good about them and he has been with me for two months now - he will leave a hole.

Even if it's a big old "oh my goodness what a flippin' relief!"-shaped hole.


AND now....

Labratour 2017 starts precisely one week from today. UK here I come!

 

Wow, what a saga you've been through. Amazingly well done for sticking by Tibi for two whole months. There's a very lucky labrador puppy or soon-to-be labrador puppy somewhere in the UK right now!

 

Bless him, I wish him all the very best luck in the world.

Fingers and paws crossed he lands in just the right place for him.

And now the long-awaited Labratour!!

 

Go go go

 

Now you can take a deep breath ...Well done to you Emily you have been a Star

 

Good luck Tibi xx

 

Good luck to Tibi, I hope you get news of him as things progress.

For now, though - LABRATOUR!! Woooooo!!!

 

I'm 99% sure I will - foster mom #2 promised to text me if she had any news of when he's traveling, and rescue head is a FB addict, so will post photos there for sure. I'm actually really optimistic for him. I think he will do much better in an environment where he can enjoy the outdoors at will, have other dogs to be around and a human that doesn't need to stare at a computer screen for 10 hours a day.

For me, he's only been gone four hours and I've already gotten so much work done. I'd gotten used to having my hackles up pretty much constantly with the crying and pacing (Tibi's, not mine ). Usually when one of my temporary dogs leave the silence is empty and sad, but I have to say right now, the silence is peaceful and my shoulders feel like they are finally coming unglued from my ears.

Again, nothing against Tibi - I wish him only the best and he will be perfect for someone. I'm glad I was able to meet him along his journey, but it's a relief that he's onto the next road on his way to his final destination.

 

Glad your saga is over. Hopefully things will work out the best for Tibi. I do have my worries, however, as to how long before something goes terribly wrong at the rescue place. Glad you will be well away from it.

 

Glad to hear Tibi has moved on as planned. I hope the promise of the permanent foster home actually happens. Now on with Labratour UK!

 

Yeah, I agree it's all a bit wonky. Good intentions, but they sure could use some behavioural or positive training advice. Looking beyond CM and "dominance explains/solves everything" would be a good start.

On the bright side, I got some more info on Tibi yesterday evening and things are looking really good for him. I'll update when I know for sure!