Nelly slept on our bed last night . She has never before tried to go into bedrooms , usually just settles herself in her little wicker basket , but last night she asked , and so she did . Nelly relied upon Sam quite a lot , in the home and out and about too , she would often get onto a tiny corner of his big bed , then slowly edge closer to him , until she could feel him next to her , and Sam being Sam , he didn't mind at all . I think she is feeling a little insecure , he was her guide and her ears too, so I`m having to work harder with her to fill the huge gap left by our boy . We miss him so much that it hurts , young dogs shouldn't die , they should grow into wise old souls , but we must now try our best to do all we can for Nelly, she needs us xx
No, young dogs shouldn't die, it was cruel and unfair when he still had so much to give. It sounds though from what you say that Sam was always a wise soul. Nothing will ever take his place, but perhaps little Nelly will give you a sense of purpose. I have been thinking about your grandson, and hoping he is ok, although I'm sure it will take a while to come to terms with Sam's loss.
Oh little Nell, how she is loved by you. Yes, I would let her sleep with you and she will feel secure with you so near. Love to you all
Our grandson is also struggling to come to terms with the loss of Sam, his best pal , to the point that at the moment , he doesn't want to come over the road to our home , because Sam isn't here . The two of them were inseparable , together from the start when Silas was only three years old and so its hard for him to comprehend . Living so close has meant that he has seen Sam a lot , he often comes for tea after school . My daughter has MS , and so at times when she has felt unwell , Silas is happy to come over, happy for me and the dogs to take and collect him from school , in short Sam has always been there . He will be alright , given time , he wont talk to anyone about Sam, but talks to himself about Sam , well that's alright because at least he is expressing his grief . We will all be alright , time will heal , and thank you for thinking of my grandson xxxxx
Silas must be missing his friend very much. Perhaps in time, when you're both ready, you can make a book about Sam with him. Meanwhile, I hope that he will gradually bond with Nelly.
This is my plan , a book for Silas . I`ve always taken lots of photos of my dogs, but have taken even more since Sams diagnosis , a sort of diary . Silas and my daughter have usually joined us on days out or short cottage breaks , and so I have a lot of material for a book , I think it will help the little lad in time and it will be good therapy for me to make it too xx
That's lovely. I made a book for my husband a few years ago when our collie-cross died - and yes, it was therapeutic for me too and brought back some very happy memories of Amber and our other dogs.
Such a terribly sad thing all round... I’m sure Nelly was greatly comforted by being able to sleep with you. Does Silas have a good understanding of why it was time to make that decision for Sam?
Great idea! I can recommend photobox, I've used them to do several photobooks with storylines and they come out lovely.
I think did , Rachael . He knew about Sams surgery last year , and the recovery period , he also knew that Sam wasn't well inside . We didn't want to overload the little lad with too much information, but he did know that his pal wasn't good over the last few days . Its terribly difficult , knowing how much to say and what not to say, but I do firmly believe that if they are mature enough to ask relevant questions , they deserve a truthful answer . I guess, like us, Silas thought that Sam would bounce back once more as he had done previously xx
Yes, and we do have to hold on to hope when we see it. Really, it’s pretty much impossible to be prepared for this, isn’t it...
A little update, if that's alright . Another week , now almost two weeks since he left us and Nelly seems to be working through it in a positive way . Both dogs were used to being left alone for short periods, shopping trips and the like , and both would curl up and usually still be asleep when we got home . In her case , as Nelly would never hear us coming into the house , she would sometimes still be asleep for half an hour after we had returned , but then after losing Sam , we would come home to find her curled up by the front door . Break through yesterday when we found her once more asleep in her basket , which made me feel better . Walks are so different now , she has focussed her attention on me 100% now , and rarely leaves my side for a minute , she seems to be still enjoying her walks , but is far more keen on staying very close indeed, whereas she had previously split her time between the two of us .My walks are more gentle affairs now , which I don't much care for as I enjoy going off piste, but pleasing the family who used to worry about me doing that . This morning we visited a local garden centre , taking our grandson with us to see the Christmas display they do so well , and as dogs are welcome , we took Nelly along . She was everso good, until a member of staff switched on all the animated animals in the nativity scene , this was sensory overload for Nelly who squealed with delight and attempted to try and get in there with them all , causing much laughter from everyone around . She still sniffs around where Sams bed used to be , every single morning , even though I have vacuumed well , I guess his scent has lingered . I have to be honest here , and say that I am not a small dog person , have always had a terrier or two but these have been alongside bigger dogs , and so it is strange to have been left with a small one and only a small one . I am quite determined though , that she is never ever going to match the label of designer dog that many place on these little scraps , and she will live her life as a dog , a proper dog . All in all , she is coping well , we love her dearly , just in a very different way to the love I had for Sam , but a love nonetheless , she is doing good our Nelly x
So good to hear that Nelly is doing well, she is quite a character isn't she? I think you are quite right to insist she'll be a 'proper dog', I'm sure that will suit her down to the ground. Nice to hear that she is sticking so close to you now and is so focused on you, though it must be sad to watch her sniff for Sam... I am so very glad you got her; she'll never fill the Sam-shaped hole in your hearts, but she sounds a real little sweetie and I'm sure she is a huge comfort to you.
I am so happy to hear that Nelly is coping so well. I also love the idea about the memory book for Silas. Having worked with children and having four myself I know it's so important for them to understand and be able to talk about their loss. This is Silas's first real loss to deal with and at such a young age. I am sure he will always treasure his book about Sam forever Kate. Bless you xxxx
It's very inspirational to hear the progress Nelly is making in dealing with Sam's passing. A good lesson to follow for us humans. i suspect that with time you'll not take notice of the "big dog vs. small dog" thing and once again frighten your family with off piste wanderings with Nelly glued to your side.
Thanks very much for the update. Nelly's character makes up for her size! I hope Silas enjoyed the trip to the garden centre too.
I am very angry at the moment . My daughter had informed his teacher that Silas would most likely be upset at school because of losing his best pal . Sam had truly helped the little lad to cope with a traumatic event in his life and they had the most touching bond , like brothers , in fact Silas would chat away to Sam as though he were human . So , when she fetched him from school two days ago , my daughter was told by this teacher that she had had to exclude Silas from a fun puppet making activity because he had been crying and refused to tell her why , in fact he refused to talk for an hour , just cried . My daughter , trying to keep a lid on her anger , tried again to explain that this was not just a family dog who had died , this was a dog who had played a massive part in helping a little boy ( aged three at the time ) to cope through trauma , and who carried on helping him when his memories disturbed him . The teacher was quite sarcastic in her attitude , and so my daughter left the office and took Silas home . She has since had a meeting with the Head , to voice her disappointment that a teacher had been so insensitive in her approach to the loss of Sam . The Head offered profound apologies , but the damage was already done to a very sensitive little boy who is truly grieving for his best pal , he now feels that its naughty to cry . Honestly , its hard enough for us, but for a child ? My daughter is tempted to take this further , to insist that the teacher in question should maybe be better trained in dealing with loss, but she doesn't want to make matters worst for the little lad . I know he will heal , in time , as we all will do . On a lighter note , Nelly continues to cope , she rarely leaves my side and will even curl up on the bath mat when I am in the shower , she is brilliant on walks ,her deafness not holding her up one jot , a proper little trouper xx
