Good afternoon! We have a lovely, placid nearly 3 year old chocolate lab who we adopted a few months ago. He has (what I would consider!) a lovely temperament. He is as happy to curl up on the (designated doggy) sofa, as he is to go for a long walk. I worry that I do give him too much attention, though. Recently, in the evenings, he has taken to sitting next to me, or even on me, and wants to 'cuddle'. He likes nothing more than to be stroked and held. My OH is concerned that this is leading to him relying on me and thinking that this is what will happen every night when I relax or catch up with work etc. I really love him, and perhaps I give in too much, as we have noticed recently that if I stop stroking him, he will start to nudge or lick my hand to 'encourage' me to continue and he does whimper if I am out in the evening. My OH doesn't indulge him so much! The children play with him a lot, which he enjoys. Do you think that I am creating a potentially bad situation here? Any tips, I would be extremely grateful!
Hello and welcome! Awww, your dog sounds lovely, and is obviously really gaining a great bond with you! Instead of worrying about over-indulging him (which you are not, at all!), maybe you could tactfully encourage your OH to bond with him more too, which will stop the dog whimpering when you go out... This doesn't have to be through lots of stroking and cuddling, some people prefer to bond with their dog more through doing activities together, such as exciting walks or retrieving games, etc. My dog does the nudging and licking of my hand too, and this is always a sign that she needs a bit more affection from me. It's lovely to hear that you love your dog - and by the sound of it, that feeling is reciprocated. Hopefully your OH will soon learn how wonderful it is to be the recipient of doggy adoration... Maybe he is even secretly a little envious that at present you are the one your dog looks to for physical affection.
Hi and welcome. I agree with Karen that it is really good that he is affectionate and asking for rubs. My girl likes snuggles with me, but likes playing rough and tumble with my hubby. Maybe that would work for you?
Sounds like a wonderful situation. Having a labrador means having a relationship. You expect certain things from him, and he expects certain things from you. You have a great relationship started. No point in wrecking it by being stand offish. You have what a lot of people with dogs wish they had, a companion.
Definitely not - it sounds like a wonderful relationship is blossoming between you and your boy. I agree that perhaps you could encourage your husband to join in in some way - a dog has enough love to share.
Thanks for your replies. It's good to have some reassurance! I really like having him with me in the evenings, as it's relaxing and comforting. My OH really enjoys taking our dog for long walks, but isn't so demonstrative with physical affection. As you say, Karen, people/dogs bond in different ways. I think it's just how my OH is, and I know he wants our dog to be well-trained and polite (getting a dog was his idea after all!). But, I personally don't think/hope that being physically affectionate will compromise this. If you think that this isn't going to create a sense of overwhelming reliance on me, then I shan't sacrifice the cuddles!! Regarding the whimpering, I will encourage my OH to be more physically affectionate to our dog on these occasions. Do you think that playing etc. would also be a good distraction? And indeed, bonding experience? Thanks again for your help
Any happy interaction, such as playing, or training little tricks, will help increase the bond between your OH and dog, and will certainly help as a distraction when you are not around. It may not work immediately, your OH might have to keep at it, but I'm sure their relationship will blossom too, given time. What is your dog's name?
Axel does this with me as well, the constant having to be by my side no matter what I am doing, be it dishes, laundry, showering, bathroom, anything, it really doesn’t matter he wants to be with me. He nudges my hands for more pets and I always deliver I love our bond and wouldn’t shy away from any attention. They don’t live as long as I wish they could so I don’t want to miss out on any puppy love. Like mentioned above already, I am the one who gives cuddles and my OH is the one who plays rough with him on the floor. But OH does snuggle him from time to time and Axel loves the extra attention. Axel used to curl up by the front door until I got home but now he will come and lie down in the living room with OH and sleep. Maybe in time your boy will no longer whimper when you’re not there.
Welcome from Hattie 10 years and our rescue boy Charlie 6 years. Both of my dogs behave this way and I love it, I don't think I could ever give them too much attention. Charlie in particular being a rescue is very cuddly, laying his head on my shoulder like a baby, nudges my hand, licks, leans on us. He is a very big lad being a Labrador x Pointer and regularly tries to sit on my knee. Lots of dogs aren't this affectionate so I count myself very lucky. Enjoy your boy he sounds just wonderful xx
