The constant battle between being reasonable and a crazy doggy mam!

I always feel as though I have to reign in my crazy puppy mamness!

Today OH's dad was supposed to walk Stanley. Obviously I've been watching on my Stanley cam and no one came so he's been on his own for 6.5 hours.

By the time I realised he wasn't coming it was only 1.5 hours until OH was home and I work 45 minutes away from home.

OH has called his dad and he's not very well which is why he hasn't been. Completely understandable, he's in his 70's. But I'm annoyed that no one text or called us to let us know so I could have taken a half day or found someone to go round or even made the decision for him to stay on his own.

I just think sometimes people categorise him as "just a dog" and it annoys me. He's more than that and he deserves better. My poor baba was sat at the back door waiting for someone to come which never happened. But I feel as though it's hard to bring it up because when you're ill, it's not very nice if someone is negative to you. I just feel as though he's my dog so I would like to make the decision on his welfare.

It's done now. And Stanleys fine and OH is in. I just feel a bit frustrated with it all, but I know everyone thinks I'm overreacting

 

Embrace your crazy dog-mamness, Jen. You're in the right place for it and we'll all totally agree with you.

I'm sure Stanley will be ok missing a day, but I see why you were upset. It must be very frustrating when you think plans are all sorted but then can see on your webcam that the plans went down the tubes.

Maybe now that you've explained how much it upset you, there will be better communication if your father-in-law feels too unwell to come again? Hopefully he'll be feeling better soon (not just for Stanley's sake, but you know what I mean).

 

We don't think you're overreacting. I'd have been very cross, too.

 

If it had been anything else everyone none dog would get it but sometimes I think we suffer from the "oh no it's her surrogate baby dog thing again". Someone has let you down and not given you an opportunity to sort it. I get it. ive been pretty ill and still managed my commitments and a text or call takes minutes. I do totally get it.

 

This is the place that there is no such thing as over reaction! It is hard when the majority of people have a "it's just a dog" mentality, when for us the dog is family. I freak over Quinn being home too long alone, and even OH thinks I'm over the top. I can't imagine what my work colleagues think! I would be upset and worried as well. Luckily, one long day isn't too bad and he'll forget about it once everyone is home. I would ask OH to remind his Dad to let you guys know in the future if he can't make it.

 

When the Pig was younger, our dog walker forgot to come. It was back when she was crated when I left her, and she ended up being crated for 8 hours. I still feel sick thinking about it and I cried for about two hours that night when I found out. Since then I have got so panicky not knowing if a dog walker has come when they said they would, we got a Hive door sensor thingy so I know when someone has opened the front door. You are not overreacting at all, it’s not like you were upset because of something trivial, it was his welfare.

I have problems with this at work too, on the few times I have had to stay at home if the Pig has a tummy upset or something. My boss and all my colleagues are Greek/Italian/Spanish and don’t understand why I don’t just let the dog wander the streets when I am work. They have no idea that all her basic needs, going to the toilet, eating, etc all depend on me being there. They behave like I am a silly woman mollycoddling it and pretending it’s a child. I know that is a cultural thing, but I think it’s a bit more common with the older generation too who grew up with family dogs who roamed about and got fed scraps from the dinner table.

 

I'm very very lucky im in a office we're lots if us have dogs and my office boss has 2 and my higher boss does rescue work. They are very good. I do not what you mean though it's roll eyes indulge the sado smirky look I catch sometimes from none dogos. It's all about commitment and forfilling it. Someone explained "total football" to me and I thought that's what it's is it's totally dog guardianship. You do it right or you don't bother.

 

I'm with you on this too. I can understand exactly how you felt about Stanley waiting for someone to come. @Lara your post made me feel awful for the Pig so I can understand how terrible you must have felt.
Hopefully someone will let you know if there's a problem in future @JenBainbridge now they realise how important it is to you.

 

Similar happened to me when Quinn was 6 months old, OH had training full days for a month and we hired dog walkers who were to come twice a day (morning, just after lunch and OH home around 3PM). I got home early one day (she still had been crated for around 6 hours at that point) and she had peed in her crate and I took her out, raging, calling OH and screaming on the phone about it. The dog walker saw me, panicked and kept driving. We fired them immediately. I was a wreck of guilt. I also hate thinking about that day.

 

Thanks everyone! It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I said to OH it's just hurt my feelings more than anything that Stanley wasn't considered important enough to contact us about. If they were looking after their grandchild or picking OH up I know for a fact contact would have been made - but with Stanley he was just dismissed.

Stanley can't really get upset so I get upset on his behalf because he is my number one priority. Every other person in my life can function on their own, but he can't and he relies on people to help him out.

OH understands and has explained to his
parents but he obviously feels as though he has to defend them. I always find with him (and all my friends partners) men are a lot less out spoken to their parents than girls would be. I would tell my mam and dad that I was upset and I thought they were in the wrong, but it's almost as though he treads on eggshells sometimes.

He's completely fine and back to his usual self so no harm done. It's just made me wonder if there's been other times when I didn't have the camera that I don't know about.

@Lara @QuinnM15 I would have been absolutely fuming if it was someone I was paying. The least you expect is them to turn up!

 

I would have told my dog walking friends.

 

My work colleagues think I’m mad because I arrange my work schedule around Harley and when my OH or dog walker have her.
My dog walker forgot about Harley one day. I always leave some fish sticks on the worktop that she gets given after a walk. Well, the day my dog walker forgot her she must of got so bored that she helped herself to the rest of the packet (only 4 luckily!). I was fuming. When I phoned my dog walker to find out what happened he was mortified that he forgot her. The next time he had her he brought her a new ball, some treats and a cuddly teddy. I had to forgive him and no harm was done. It is such an awful feeling though.

 

I don't think you're overreacting. A quick text or a phone call to say you're unable to do what you had arranged to do is not too much to ask. Even if you're ill.

I know exactly what you mean

 

That was very sweet!

 

Yes I would have felt cross too at not being phoned or messaged so I could make other arrangements. ( I assume your father-in-law wasn’t seriously ill.)

 

I work for one of the biggest companies in the world - and they’re dog friendly! I was in an online meeting one evening with colleagues overseas - I was running the meeting - and I had to say, “Sorry, got to go, my dog is digging in the chair to get my attention.” When I got back on the call and apologized, they said, “No worries, we are all dog friendly here.” It was so lovely to hear!

I’d have been very upset in your shoes, I also worry terribly if my boy has been alone too long. Thankfully my family is all dog mad so no one thinks I’m mad.

 

Maxx is 6 months old today and the only time he is on his own is the 15 minutes it takes for hubby to drive me to the train station on weekday mornings. When there is a dinner or other social event we either don't go or one goes and the other stays home. We are honest with friends and family and tell them we can't leave the dog on his own. They look at us as though we are mad! But he is our priority so I totally understand how frantic and upset you were.

We are going to start leaving him alone outside with the porch light on for a few minutes at a time (whilst actually hiding in the house) to see how he goes as we really will want to go out together eventually. Does anyone have any advice about this approach?

 

He's getting lots of snuggles tonight for being a good boy and taking today in his stride.

As you can see, all is well in Stanleys world

 

What an angel

 

Glad he's ok and relaxed he's a good lad.