Moderator Note: OK, so merging two thread kinda went screwy - this post is showing first but it's actually @Lex who started the thread with the message #3. You're smart people, I'm sure you'll work it out @snowbunny I am a new Lab puppy owner and really struggling with a massive case of the blues - quite tearful about it. We have an 11 week old female who we brought home 2 days ago. She is very cute and lovely but hasn't a clue about toileting and so we're struggling with that. She is quite happy in her crate but does cry through the night and I'm struggling with the disrupted sleep. My middle child is scared of her and struggles to be in the same room as her which upsets me hugely - the other kids are bonded with her already but I cannot in all conscience keep a puppy which is stressing my child so much. It's all a bit much.
It's very very early days and very overwhelming. You will get into a routine with the toileting and gradually it will get easier. The disturbed sleep is grim but again you will get into a routine of knowing how long to leave her at night. I really found the sleep deprivation very hard but I had great support from people on this forum as you may well have seen. One of my grandchildren was scared of our puppy - at that time she was spending a lot of time at our house so not full time but not far off it. I just kept the puppy away from her as much as possible and used various things e.g. baby gate, crate, lead to manage situations. I won't say any of it was easy but our granddaughter loves the puppy now.
I'm a mess. I prepped and planned and bought and made provisions for Loki, months in advance of getting him and I can't bond with him. I know it's barely been a week and he's slept through from 10:30 and 11pm until 7am without a grumble, so I know I have it easier than most. But for 4 days, all I've done is wish he wasn't here. He is BEAUTIFUL and done so well with being away from all he knew and adjusting well. My kids and hubby are besotted and all I want is the life before he arrived. I'm his main care giver as I don't work so feel immense pressure. I've cried uncontrollably and not been eating. I hired a dog behaviour specialist who comes Saturday to help the transition but I can't focus on anything other than being a selfish bitch. I want to love him and not be able to manage life without him but I just want him elsewhere right now. It's as honest as I can be. I feel trapped and desperate and like I'd be letting everyone, Loki included, down to think about not having him here. I'm devastated I feel this way, I just want to get out of this lull
I have read this so many times on this forum, from new puppy owners. I'm sure they'll be along to offer you comfort and hope. I've never had a puppy and I can only admire you for embarking on this incredibly exhausting but ultimately rewarding journey. You're not alone.
Big hugs . Take a breath. It will get better. It is soooooooooo normal to suddenly have puppy regret. It might not feel like it now but these early days where they are completely and utterly dependent on you 24/7 go very quickly. Before you know it, you'll be able to start relaxing around Loki and you'll start to bond. In the meantime, vent away in here, ask as many questions as you like and try to take a quick look on the puppy boards and you'll see how many other posts start like yours!
I had a mini nervous breakdown with my dog when he was a little baby. It was exhausting. It does get easier, just the early days are really hard. He'll be 2 in July and he's currently snoozing away by himself on the sofa so things do definitely get easier as they mature
This is perfectly normal! Let me point you to another thread by our lovely member @Atemas. This might help you see you're not alone and, even thinking the worst, you will come out the other side. https://thelabradorforum.com/threads/puppy-blues.18265/
Oh Lex, so so so many of us have been in the dark place where you are now, including me. I also struggled to bond with Harley and it didn't help that DH was the "fun parent" because he was willing to play and be far more active in doing fun puppy things that I was. I also felt like a terrible human...I mean WHO doesn't love a labrador puppy??? I think labrador puppy needs a foot note that explains they are not cutsie cuddly bundles of fur, they are highly driven, intelligent bundles of energy with teeth and claws. It is so hard in the beginning and you are NOT a terrible person for wanting some peace, quiet and normality. But I can promise you that the dreadful crocopup creature that you have allowed into your home will so quickly grow into an incredible part of your family and maybe, like with me, a companion and friend. Good luck!
Hi there...I felt exactly the same when our little pup arrived. I would even go as far as saying I got depressed about her big style. I just yearned for my old life before her, felt trapped and out of my depth. If I had dared to I would have tried to find somebody to have her but I also couldn't face telling people/family I had made a mistake in getting a puppy. She too was a really good pup (she is now 7 months) and none of it was her fault. It does get easier, they can be testing with different behaviours but the puppy fase goes quickly and boy was I glad it did!!! Keep going you are doing well .
Bless you, you have a case of the puppy blues - fear not, it will pass xx https://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues/ @Atemas had this in a big way, she’ll tell you it passes and all will be well.
Morning @Lex perfectly, perfectly normal. I remember the day we brought Hattie home, I had 4 children a husband that travels to the USA quite a bit, I worked part time and I was the principle care giver to Hattie. I looked at her mooching around the sitting room and my stomach sank panic struck, what have I done, how am I going to cope but it passed as our bond grew through training classes, walking together and having fun. Hattie is 10 years old and I can honestly say she is my very best friend, always by my side even as I type, sleeps in our bedroom, she is a Pets as Therapy Dog something I never thought she would be capable of. I can't imagine my life without her, I love her to bits, she is one in a million dog to me. Please hang in there it will get better, these early days are the most difficult and there will be trying times ahead but what you will reep is beyond any words. We are all here for you as we have all been there. xx
I used to cry all the time and actually be pleased to be at work because I didn't have to deal with him! OH fell for him hook, line and sinker straight away and I just felt anxious and paranoid. I felt as though I hated him, but I obviously didn't because I still cared for him and worried about him being upset. Now he's the love of my life, I have never known anything like how much I adore him. He's my baby. You will get there, it's just very hard at the beginning xx
(((hugs))) I know the feeling well, I'm living it too. If it helps, misery loves company, right? For me, I think it's the feeling of being trapped. BP (before puppy) I could do as I wished, the kids were in school so if I wanted to spend the whole day shopping for Easter candy I could. I could walk thru the house without baby gates, I didn't have a fuzzy crocodile jumping on me, I could get my work done. No longer, now everything has to be planned around Remi. Everything, to is it worth refilling my cup if it means he's going to get up and follow me. I can't even dress decently because he's put holes in some of my clothes. A couple things that helped the tiniest bit.....I stay in the kitchen with him anytime I"m in charge of him (most of the day). yes, it means I"m trapped but it also means I can take my eyes off him and only risk having to clean tile instead of carpet, couches, etc. I've also been utilizing his crate more. At first (and even still) I felt guilty but in reality I would put him in there when he got extra bitey and he'd be asleep in a minute or two, he's very much like an overtired toddler, and he'd sleep an hour or even more. Clearly he needed it, and so did I. Best of luck! Everyone says it will get better, I just hope it does before I need to be locked in a padded room.
It's so nice to know I'm not alone here. I've really surprised myself at how awful I feel. I'm really really trying though, for my families sake. I booked us into puppy training classes for 17th April, which in my mind, says to make peace with the fact he will still be here. I like to set little goals a small bit into the future, to stop me doing anything silly like rehoming! I already feel a little better as 2 nights of full sleep makes the world of difference. Another thing I need to do is stop looking too far ahead. Worrying about the fox poo He may roll in or the diarreah he may get (I have a weak stomach). The moulting, the illnesses. My anxiety which I felt was well managed these days, has really reared its ugly head again. I hope I get there and can't wait to be able to offer my pearls of wisdom to someone who is in my position, in the future x Thank you all for your massive support and no judgement. This forum is fast becoming my 'safe place'.
Hi, I can honestly say that 8 years ago I could have written your post. The thing is that the puppy becomes the focus of everyone else in the household, but then they go off and do all the stuff they did before, whereas you are stuck at home with a totally dependent creature who cannot yet go out, nor control his bodily functions. You are no longer "Lex", nor even Mum or wife, you are au pair to this new arrival who has taken away your autonomy. It's grim, right? As everyone else has said that bit will not last. I fell into a black hole when we had our last Lab pup, not least because I didn't really want a dog in the first place, yet I was on my own with him for most of the day, and could no longer do the things I wanted. What really turned the corner for me was that in taking him for walks I made a whole new group of friends, making my day a lot more meaningful. I couldn't do some of the things I had done before, but somehow that made up for it. He died unexpectedly in November and I was completely bereft, mourning him more than I had my parents, as he was part of my daily life in a way that they no longer were. Now we have a new pup, and I berate myself for constantly comparing him, and sometimes finding him wanting. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just take things one step at a time and Loki may surprise you and become your best friend.
Cheer up, I HATED my German Shorthaired puppy until she was 10 months old and she ended up being my most favourite dog.
As a way of not feeling so trapped do try to go out with your pup as much as you can, carrying him until he’s had his vaccinations. If you have a car then just driving somewhere nearby and sitting on a bench for 10 minutes with your pup on your lap will give you something new to look at and almost guarantee people will stop to speak and make a fuss of your baby. It will also tire your puppy and give you ‘downtime’ when you get home. Even being in the garden together can help break the day up. It will pass and get better.
Yes things will get better. I would do as Joy says get out and about with Loki. It is good for you and very good for him. Carry him to the shops, outside school to see the children, visit the vets and weigh him, all very good things for him to learn. One day you will look around and say to us, I don't know what I would do without Loki, believe me
@Lex, I was where you are last year. I had the additional guilt of having bought a puppy into a house with a 10 year old black Lab who just didn’t want to know. She was in pain with arthritis which got diagnosed a month or two after we got our puppy Red. I really felt I/we had made a really bad decision to get a puppy. I was sleep deprived and thought I’d never have a life again. Felt very trapped. It did get better but I was very upset, couldn’t eat and lost a lot of weight. My family and friends were very worried about me and I am sure they thought we had made a bad decision as I fell apart so badly. A year on things couldn’t be more different. I have only just seen your post as I have had a dear friend over for lunch and we have been sitting chatting for several hours. My puppy Red who is now 15 months has been totally chilled, lying either in her bed or by our feet. Not a peep except coming over for tummy rubs . Forum members were so very kind to me last year with my daily woes which if you want to read about them, you will see they went on for ages. I have so much to thank them for. They all said ‘this will pass’ and they were totally right . Adore my dogs and wouldn’t be without my big puppy .
This is the stuff you don't get told about puppies. We've all been there. Soon it will be better then it will be good then it will be great. It's one of the best things you will ever do. Just hang on things will get better.
