This thread is a prime example of how wonderful and supportive this Forum is. Such great answers above from lovely people. I know that people telling you it will get better doesn't immediately make it better, but I do hope it will give you that little bit of lifeline to keep fighting through it. I've shared this before, but I had mild puppy blues with my first puppy and then severe, severe, severe puppy blues with the second. I was in a very bad place emotionally at the time for various reasons, and I was very sure I'd made a very bad decision for a very long time. I can remember even at a year and a half old thinking, "For heaven's sake, how am I going to survive another 12 years of this?" And he was a good puppy in most ways - I just didn't want him and the years of dealing with his issues looked like a bit black tunnel stretching out in front of me. Well, he sure did turn into the light of my life, best buddy and all-around amazing boy. He lived 13 years and I'd give pretty much anything to have even a few minutes of that time back. My only regret is that I didn't really cherish his first year or so because I was busy resenting him. But if I'm being kind to myself (as you should be) it's simply the right of passage that a lot of us go through with our puppies, even with the best preparation. In my admittedly limited experience, the hotter the fire you walk through at the beginning builds a really unique bond. It isn't better than with an 'easy' puppy but it's just... forged in steel, I guess you could say. Hang in there and vent here often to help let off the pressure.
You'll never know how much I appreciate every response. So much so, I'm feeling so much more positive about things and that's the first time since he got here. I know I'll have many many lows but I genuinely believe it will get better. Not sure when, But the progress in a short space of time is amazing. A million times, thank you x
I too could have written your post @Lex, so my heart goes out to you. I felt trapped, resentful and hateful. I also felt ashamed of myself for getting a pup and not being able to cope. I don't remember when I started loving my girl but it took time. It sounds like you've got a 'take each day as it comes' plan which is a really good idea, thinking too far ahead and worrying about what might be saps the energy. I met a friend today who I haven't seen since I got my pup. I sent her many texts back in the day bemoaning my fate as a puppy mum. Today was a whole other story.
I think my low point was when I realised that I was nothing more than a full-time toilet attendant for a small leaky beast. That's it. Nothing else. Not a love-object, not a source of cuddles, not a playmate, just a toilet attendant. It passes, it really does. Hang in there, and come and vent here absolutely whenever you need to....we all remember it so well!
It really will The full-on puddle monster is a real shock at first. I have a pup once a year but I forget every time just how full on a new pupster is! Don’t think any detail is too small to talk about on here - we are here for you (and dog-obsessed, every one!). .
All the above echo my experience with Inky. He's now 18 months and snoozing on his bed, I never thought I'd get here. Just one thing to add, we had our last lab when my children were young. They all have lovely memories of growing up with him which I'm sure will last their whole lives, much as I fondly remember the black lab we had as a child who was called Tanner!
Just adding my voice to the chorus - the Post Puppy Regret is real. It took me months to bond with Xena. I stopped hating her when she stopping croc-ing, which was 17-18 weeks old, but it took me a few months after that to start to bond. It just gets easier once they mature - you can start leaving stuff around without fear of it being eaten, you can leave the house for a few hours to go to the movies, you can do stuff with your kids *without* the dog - it will come. And just like others have said about their dogs - Xena is now the light of my life. I remember being in your place, reading old threads on the forum and seeing people talk with such fondness about their dogs and thinking "nope, it's impossible, how could that ever happen" but BAM, it did. Keep the faith, you'll get there.
I want to add my support too...around Christmas we came so close to giving him back to the breeder. I remember sitting outside on the back porch with an awful crocopup at 4.00am, bleeding, torn clothing, wrecked outdoor furniture and plants. I honestly just wanted my old life back and I couldn't bond with Maxx. But now we just love him so much. He is naughty and hard to train but now we have lovely times together. Please hang in there and don't feel like you are the only one to feel this way. As you can see from the amazing people on this forum you are never alone!
Just catching up with this, as I missed it yesterday. Whenever anyone posts an excited ‘we’re getting a new puppy’, yes of course it’s very exciting and lovely, but I think we all have in the back of our minds ‘oh dear, when is the bubble going to burst,’ too. It is very exciting getting a new puppy and it’s wonderful for children to grow up with dogs (and other pets) - I feel quite sorry for those who don’t. However, (in my experience!) it’s always mum who bears the brunt of all the work involved, including losing sleep! It’s that losing sleep that makes life really difficult, so that everything becomes an effort and little things become major dramas. You’ve done very well so far and it’s just getting through this stage that can be tricky. It will be so much better when you can go for walks and, as has been suggested, take Loki out now to experience new places because that will get you out of the house too. You could zip him into a rucksack and carry it in front of you, putting a collar, harness and lead on too for safety. Also, do leave him safe and snug in his crate and go out by yourself. The lovely greeting you’ll get when you return will begin to help you bond! Concentrate on training sit, stay and recall and practise walking on a lead in the garden so that this isn’t a new experience when you can finally take him out. If your children are old enough, encourage them to share the feeding routine. It will all get better, it will take time, but it’s worth it. @Atemas ‘s posts are proof and we’re all willing you to get through it.
Hello and welcome Catedonia. There is another thread about having a new puppy, maybe someone could add the two threads together which may help you. Don't give up it is very early days and things do get better. Other thread is called Honestly....
Oh, yes, it sucks. Big time. I can remember the long drive home with my daughter at the wheel and my new puppy on the floor of the car - looking at him and feeling nothing but a sense of regret. And he had so many various things wrong with him in the initial six months of so...he was a very expensive purebred...a very expensive very badly bred purebred. The vet bills were astronomical and I was severely pee'd off I'd been so ripped off...in addition to the trials and tribulations of raising a new puppy. We're well past the "crocopup" phase and his medical issues are basically sorted...but these days he loves nothing more than sweeping anything he can off the coffee table...including my cups of tea if I have a moment of forgetfulness and leave them unattended. He also thoroughly enjoys turning on the lamp in my bedroom and whining until I get up and feed him. He's also rather fond of resting his head on my face and drooling down my cheek. He's a jerk. But he's my jerk and I absolutely adore him. Give it time. Loki is going to become something special. In addition to the lovely adult Labrador temperament he'll be blessed with, he's going to develop his own little traits and idiosyncrasies...and you're going to fall in love with him. Until then...just deep breaths and perseverance. You're a good person...you've done nothing wrong...and this is just a difficult phase many of us go through.
Just to reiterate what so many others have said, I have felt like this with every puppy I've brought up, every single time and every time for some ridiculous and inexplicable reason it's taken me totally by surprise. How many puppies have I had? Four, and two dogs who joined me later on in their lives. You'd think I might have learned by now wouldn't you? Add to that the utter devastation and heartbreak when I finally have to say goodbye to them and you would be quite justified in questioning my sanity. BUT (big BUT) the bit in between, the years of fun, laughter and incredible companionship honestly make it all worthwhile. When we took Joy, our black lab pup to the vet for her first puppy check and vaccinations, back in June last year I said to Chris (vet) 'I can't believe we're doing all this again!' His reply was 'Well, I always say if you enjoy the merrygoround you may as well get on for another ride!' I do enjoy the merrygoround, infact I love it. I'm sure you will come to as well. Just hang on in there! Thinking of you.
