Carbón's Big Adventure (aka Labratour Part IV)

Wonder what his motive was then for following you - how creepy. What a great answer you gave him.

 

We are in Berlin as I type! Only till Monday. Would love to tour further afield! For some reason I thought everything was a matter of a couple of hours distance in Berlin!!

 

What is it with all these creeps? These situations make me so mad. You handled yourself brilliantly, Emily. I don't know how responsive the French police are to harassment (probably not very) but that's definitely something I'd call about, might give the perv second thoughts.

 

Creepy and rather scary. I'm with @Xena Dog Princess I'd talk to the police - that sounds too close for comfort.

 

Am I close to Kate? Or do you just think I am as you are used to driving over continents I am not sure where Kate lives, Bristol way?

Wrote that yesterday and just discovered I hadn't sent it.

I think you are very attractive so can understand why the man followed you, but very scary. I once came upon a lone man and he said 'does your dog bite' I replied, "only when I tell him" and the chap jumped into the hedge! When I was in France and Belgium many years ago, I was approached by strange men, they seem to appear out of the mid air! One good thing about being old, is that man don't even see you anymore, let alone stalk!

 

Carbon can get barky if he feels threatened, so I actually wasn't kidding about not being worried with 'my' dog. The creepy thing was that the first thing the guy did was pet Carbon to see if he was friendly. It wasn't the same as a normal "Hey your dog is cute". He was testing him out. Ick.

You know, I honestly think some people just like to see a single (in the sense of 'lone') woman squirm. This is far from the first time it's happened to me, especially in France.

Nope, the police would laugh their heads off. This is just French culture. I lived in Paris in my 20's and you simply learn to elbow men very hard on the metro on a daily basis. In my first month as an exchange student in the south (before Paris), I got 'felt up' in a crowd watching a parade and grabbed and kissed on the mouth when I was waiting for a friend on a bench. You quickly learn to handle it like French women do. First stage is ignore and walk away, then "leave me alone", then "F**k off" in French. If that doesn't work, I've used my umbrella or bag to whack men and then run off.

I've been verbally and physically accosted on streets in broad daylight, trains, metro, etc. The worst was getting cornered in a train compartment once. I ended up whacking the main guy (there were three together) with my backpack and running down the hallway. Found a carriage with a group of nuns and stayed with them for the rest of the voyage....they were very kind and protective.

Anyway, people ask me why I don't care for France despite it being a beautiful country with lots of friendly people. Now you know why.

Yeah, I'm kind of at that point as well. After chemo, I lost my naturally blond long hair and as much as I miss it, my gray straggly hair is SO much easier to travel with. Especially Italy (where any blond, no matter what size/age you are, attracts a lot of attention) is much nicer to travel in solo. I call it the 'age dividend'.

 

Yes, you're close to quite a few people on the Forum, including Kate. And you're right, anything less than two hours is 'close' for me!

Hey, enjoy Berlin and the concert! Yes, I'm actually really far from you and not rolling in until late Saturday night anyway. Germany is a pretty big country by European standards, so Berlin is far away from Bavaria both in distance and culture. The 'regular' Germans say that Bavaria isn't even really Germany. The Bavarians say the rest of 'em are just jealous.

 

I thought your hair looked glorious and abundant! You should see mine, short and very thin Very sorry that you lost your hair due to chemo, are you ok now?

 

And people wonder why we prefer dogs?

 

Don't take any chances, Emily. That sounds really creepy! It's a good thing that you've got Carbon with you - but then you might not have been out walking there without a dog anyway, I suppose.

I've always erred on the side of letting people think my dogs can't be trusted, especially when answering the door, although I don't encourage the dogs to be protective. Many years ago when we first moved here, the dustmen used to come into the garden to collect the rubbish from the dustbin, rather than having to leave it on the pavement outside, as now. On one occasion a dustman walked through the side gate just as I had let our cairn terrier out into the garden. I rushed round to the side of the house and picked up the cairn, as he was quite an escapologist. The dustman said, "He wouldn't hurt, would he?" He then stretched out his hand to stroke him and Fella snapped... and would have got his hand if I hadn't twisted away. I think the dustman got the message. Fella had never done that before and didn't ever do it again!

 

I'm sorry that you've had so many negative experiences in France. I haven't been back since I was 18, but I've got loads of friends and family who travel a lot, and nobody's ever had a bad experience, even in Paris or in the Midi. It's Italy, in fact, that causes them trouble. But that's not the point. Nobody should look at a woman and think they're entitled to grope/harass/scare them. The attitude towards women is not changing fast enough. Safe travels to sensible Germany!

 

Indeed. I spent a year there as part of my degree, and I have to say that although I felt pretty safe there, and often travelled alone on trains to other towns, there was always an underlying pervy-ness from so many of the men. The general staring, looking you up and down, and you could guarantee they weren't looking at your face when you spoke to them. And just the all pervading sexism, women cleaned, cooked, looked after children.... but we're also expected to look super glam at all times.
I probably got off lightly as I was in Verona in the north, I very, very nearly spent the year in Sardinia and am so glad I didn't. The girl who had been there the year before me filled me in on the phone her experience.
I vividly remember her asking me what colour my hair was, and when I said blonde, she just said 'oh dear. Be careful'

Any hoo, hopefully Emily you are snuggled up in the safe secure place that is Germany with Herr Carbon next to you. I'm guessing you are home today, so hope that going back somewhere familiar is reassuring and you can have a lovely rest. Xx

 

Another very full couple of days so I need to catch up on all Forum goings-on, but wanted to do a quick post with some taster (teaser?) photos and also just put my head up to wave and say, "We're alive!".

Carbon and I got into Regensburg last night and life in a tiny studio flat in the centre of town is proving a challenging adjustment for both of us. Way, way too many people and I think Carbon may have temporarily short-circuited something in his brain. He was a bit grumpy and sullen today - his wiggle butt completely disappeared - so my plan is to get him out of town and into the countryside as soon as possible.

It certainly doesn't help that introductions to my buddy's dog, Fine, didn't go over so well. Fine was lovely, but Carbon simply doesn't recognise her as a dog. Maybe he thinks she is some sort of guinea pig? This understandably peeved-off Fine and now she has decided that Carbon is too young and dumb for her and is ignoring him as well.

I think both of us are missing all our UK Forum friends and the wide-open spaced we've been lucky to have the last couple months. Carbon is especially missing the off-leash walks in the UK. Let's see how the rest of the week goes...

Happy on the beach in Calais


Looking a little bewildered with Fine and her human today at the flea market in Regensburg

 

Awww bless you both. I’m sure he will adjust soon xx

 

My hair grew back even thicker than before, so 'abundant' isn't the issue...it's the unruly wackiness of trying to figure out what to do with frizzy curls after a lifetime of stick straight hair. It's confusing! Yes, doing fine now, though currently having neuropathy in my feet which is making walking a (literal) pain. My docs are here in Regensburg so hopefully they can sort me out this summer. I hate not being able to walk as long as I want!

True enough, I wouldn't feel really comfortable off the beaten path without a dog. Even if said dog wouldn't do a darn thing, I am braver with a solid pup by my side.

For me the difference between France and Italy was that men in France would turn nasty if I ignored them while those in Italy would generally just shrug and go on about their business. In Italy there is indeed a HUGE difference between the north and the south. The only place I've truly felt scared was Naples. I was walking around the city on my own (with my formerly blond hair) and getting the usual number of comments, but when dusk started to fall, I noticed that suddenly the other women in the street just seemed to disappear and the vibe got distinctly menacing. I booked it to the train station and headed back to my flat in Sorrento. Hey, may have just been my over paranoid imagination, but I was glad to be tucked away in super touristy (and very safe) Sorrento for nightfall!

 

My friend had chemo and like you, her straight hair grew back curly! Neuropathy in you feet must be most unpleasant, but I believe that it does eventually go, I hope so.

 

Oh Fine, she looks so regal up there.

Carbon is still young, I'm sure he'll adjust to city life - hopefully quickly! I'm glad that you've arrived safely. You must be knackered, you've had a crazy few weeks.

 

Wow Carbon is looking so slim and trim Emily, he is trully gorgeous. I'm sure he misses his buddies but he will settle. Glad you had a good trip now take it EASY young lady x

 

You have good instincts listen to them you are not paranoid x.

 

Well done Emily, I'm pleased you have arrived safely in Regensberg. I'm sorry Carbon is not taking to town life just yet, but I'm sure you will help him adjust.

Cassie sends best wags, and says she is honoured to have formed part of the SW formation swimming team with him.