Losing patience with 7 month old puppy. How do you all cope?

I admit.. I'm getting exhausted with watching Leela all day. We walk, we train, we play... the same routine day after day. Walk, a little training, a little play, then nap. While she naps, I try to do the cleaning, cooking, etc.. you know the routine.

I am tired. Our furniture, while old, is chewed. I get it. Why have new furniture with a puppy who is likely to chew? Ok.. I can wait until she matures a little. I don't like the teeth marks on the legs of my sofa, but ok. I'll wait. She started working at the wood moulding on the fireplace mantle this week. I swear I supervise her like a hawk when she is awake. I was preparing food in the kitchen.. looking right at her. I thought she was chewing on her toy box. Come to find out, she'd gotten to the moulding. Ok.. I get it. That's my fault. *sigh*

She's been trying to tear the cheap paper blinds we have up. I get it. why have expensive window treatments installed while she's in the puppy stage??? Well, she got a piece of them the other day... she got a bigger piece of them today. Every time she goes near them, we tell her "uh-uh". I didn't get to her in time. I feel like she KNOWS she's not supposed to do that. Like, "how many times can I say, "uh-uh"?And she did it anyway. It's so frustrating to feel like I can't get through to her. She is smart, eager to learn.. I get that. What could I be doing better??? Walk her more? She's 7 months old... aren't the guidelines not to walk her more than 35 minutes 2x/day at this age? Well, we'd walked 35 minutes already.

Why is this so hard? I feel like I'm working so darned hard... walking her every single time she wakes from a nap, supervising her, training her and it seems like she is hell-bent on destroying everything in the house. I keep trying to tell myself that she will mature, mellow out, and one day, this will be a distant memory. But today, I am through. Obviously, I don't know how to train her NOT to do these things. Can anyone help?

I hadn't had thoughts of returning her to the breeder for months now. Today, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. What kills me is what everyone will think I gave up on such a great dog. All the neighbors love her. I'm constantly getting "atta girls" from them as they see me walking her and working with our trainer. I don't want to be a failure, you know? But, I thought this would be fun! I did know this would be work, too!

Please understand... I was aware that life would be busy with a Lab, but jeez Louise. It would be somewhat encouraging to see things change with all the attention I'm giving her. If one more person tells me, "well, you know, she's a high energy dog", I am going to scream! So, please don't tell me this. I am trying my best to rise to the occasion and give my dog what she needs, but dang! Today, I am overwhelmed! I have no life outside of this dog anymore.

Ok, rant over.. but if any of you have any suggestions on how to teach my dog how to behave in the house, please share them. Or if any of you have other advice that could help me maintain my sanity (other than wine. LOL) for the next few months, I would greatly appreciate it. By the way, we are waiting to be contacted by the local puppy play care place.

Thanks in advance,
Leela's Mom

 

It sounds as if you are being a very good mum to your puppy - spending time with her and understanding that puppies aren't perfectly behaved. I think you need to buy a crate or pen or (as I did) block off part of a room with nothing precious or dangerous in it. Then instead of feeding your puppy from a bowl, put all her food allowance (minus whatever you need for training) into kongs (if you feed kibble then you can soak and freeze it too) and give your puppy 'chew time' while you have a break.
I know some housework has to be done, but perhaps ease your standards a bit for a few months and give yourself some time every day to do something you like - read, listen to music or whatever.
You're obviously doing training sessions already but several of these (even things like teaching 'pointless' tricks - which in fact build engagement but don't really matter if you dont achieve a perfect performance) will tire your pup mentally.
Hang on in there - things will get easier.

 

@Leela'smom, you are doing a fantastic job - well done. I was nodding all the way through your post because I know exactly how you are feeling. Waking up first thing in the morning and thinking "how the heck am I going to make it through the day without losing the plot", and "We've been planning this for 2 years, and knew it would be hard work, so why am I so miserable?". You are working darned hard, because it is darned hard and although she's hell-bent on mischief, everything that you are doing will be making a huge difference to her in the long run.

Our little one is 5 months and a complete bundle of energy. She's beautiful and clever, but I'll be totally honest and say that I'm not enjoying it yet. Does that make me a bad person? No. It just means that despite my willingness and ability to dedicate the time to this, the reality has been a massive shock. I'm only able to write this post positively because today is a good day

There are a few things that are helping us keep our sanity at the moment which might help? It's meaning there are more good days than bad days so I guess there's something to be said for it:

• A routine. She now knows that after her morning walk, play and food she'll get a frozen kong and go in her crate and she'll sleep for a few hours. We then get a few hours to ourselves - I work upstairs in the week, or on the weekend I'll read the paper or do some housework. In the evening, she goes to her crate about 8.30 and will stay in there until morning. We take her out for a wee at 10.30 before bed. In time, we want her to come into the lounge with us and settle, but for now we need to give ourselves a break and she is happy to be in there (though it took a week or so to gradually get there).
• We've not let Luna out of our kitchen into the rest of the house yet. We keep her behind baby gates - it's less to supervise. Don't get me wrong, when I have to work in the kitchen in between her nap times, she's always trying to chew the chair legs and under the table which we can't practically block off. It's tricky to get any work done. We've also been advised to pop her on a house lead. That doesn't work for us because she's just chew the lead and roll around and tangle herself up, but it might work for you?
• Rummage Boxes - these are great to work her brain and if you need to get some work done then it will keep her occupied for a good 20 minutes. We just save up our recycling (boxes and milk cartons) and then hide them round the room with some kibble in. We've got a pup with a very sensitive tummy so we're only able to use kibble. But you could be more creative than us!
• Kongs. She has her breakfast, lunch and dinner in Kongs. It means we can eat while she takes a good 20 minutes to eat her food. It also makes her work her brain. Sometimes we'll hide them so she has to hunt them out.
• Get a notebook and write down all the positives at the end of the day - yesterday, I could only think of one thing (having had to walk away from puppy training class crying because she was so distracted, having a hellish 4 hours where NOTHING I did would redirect her and stop her from chewing the chairs), but I still wrote it down. No negative words allowed!!!
• Wine - still a great option!
• Chocolate - another great option!
• Swearing very loudly or having a good cry - 2 more great options!

You'll keep doing great - just make sure you use her nap times for yourself. Read a book, have a nap, meditate, watch TV. Like @Joy suggests, let the house get a bit grubby for a few weeks and look after you. And you know what? If you really don't think it's right for you after putting 150% in to this, then there is absolutely no shame in contacting your breeder and discussing options with him/her. You clearly sound like the sort of person that would do everything right and proper even if it came to that.

But, I think you'll do great and you'll persevere. Good luck!

 

Thank you for replying , Joy! I am doing pretty much all you've laid out here, except feeding her from a Kong. I work from home, and when clients come, I give her Kongs or bully sticks, but hadn't actually fed her from a Kong. What do you fill yours with aside from the kibble??

 

Thank you LoopyLuna! I appreciate all that you've shared here... along with Joy and the frozen Kongs (great minds think alike?)! Leela does have a crate, and our kitchen, music and dining rooms are off-limits to her with baby gates.

I do believe you read my mind with your first thing in the morning thoughts! I will try all the things you've said, especially the one about writing down the positives at the end of the day. Here's one for today: I tired her out so much on our walk that she laid down for a nap *outside* of her crate. LOL And I am meeting some friends for a glass of wine later this evening.

 

Loopyluna has given some great advice! I am currently waiting to be in Puppy Hell as we are still waiting to get our pup in the new year. I am mentally preparing as it has been some 12 plus years since my old girl Daisy was a puppy.

I do recall being very overwhelmed with her and her puppy antics quite a few times and I can relate to your post. Please hang on. It will get better!

I kept a diary with Daisy and reading it now really helps me to prepare for the next pup. For you it could be great way of tracking the daily changes you see as your pup matures and starts to meet some of those expectations you have for her. Puppy hell will be a distant memory.

I’m sure I’ll be on here in a few months posting a similar rant! Crates and baby gates are lifesavers. As are wine and chocolate .

 

Well you can use almost anything that is safe for dogs - meat, tinned fish and vegetables for example. Molly's very partial to raw carrot and I also use cooked cabbage in an effort to cut down on calories, as suggested by my vet nurse. But with a puppy I would definitely feed her kibble allowance either in a kong, with perhaps just a little bit of cheese spread or fish paste to hold it together (or soak kibble &freeze), or in a kong wobbler, where you use dry kibble and the pup knocks it around to make the food come out. (I used to use a clean empty plastic bottle without the lid and put some kibble in that for a similar effect, but I think if you're going to leave your pup unsupervised it's probably safer to have the genuine article.)

 

I"m sorry it's been so rough. I can say that our puppy loves her iq balls, we feed her in it once per day and although it takes him maybe 10 min to finish up I think it helps release some energy and it keeps him occupied for that while. I do love that he goes in his crate at times, mostly during the week when my daycare kiddos go eat snack, we give him a frozen kong and goes right in there and he LOVES it, it takes him awhile to eat it. It keeps him occupied for awhile anyways. Good luck.

 

It does sound like you are doing a great job. Please make sure you get a little time for yourself, to read, have a meal in peace or whatever you enjoy. It will help your relationship with your pup- I know it's good for me!

My boy is nearly 6 months and is mostly pretty calm if he is stimulated enough, but he has his crazy moments where he steals everything, chews the furniture and yips at us nonstop. A rotating roster of kibble dispensing toys is great for burning that energy and calming him down. I recently got one that is a wheel that you stuff with kibble, and he has to crunch the kibble to get it out. That's worth a good 20mins of peace! It also helps to laugh a lot at his silly antics and try to get enough sleep. Otherwise hang in there! Apparently they do eventually settle down.

 

On the one hand, I think you are making a huge effort to do things right - which is brilliant, because frankly many people can't be arsed...(!). If the effort is there, I think you are 50% of the way to achieving absolutely anything. So well done on the effort side of things, and also loads of the stuff you are doing is excellent.

However, there are a few key areas....

There is something wrong here. With all the pups I've raised, I have zero signs of any chewing on any wood or undesirable surfaces. This is not an inevitable part of puppyhood. It is not something that you should just be accepting. And whilst you might recognise that it is 'your fault', it's not very helpful to beat yourself up - and then do nothing about it...

Puppies and dogs are creatures of habit. The more they do something, the more they are going to do that thing. It is like a ball of moss rolling down a hill and gathering more moss, and therefore more momentum, as it goes. When a puppy chews something they are not supposed to, that is not just a slightly irritating thing which you stop that one repetition of - and then don't really think about again - instead, that is A HUGE PIECE OF INFORMATION. You should react to it immediately. Hold a 2.5m house-line - heck - tie it to your belt if you need your hands free for cooking(!); provide the pup with more toys; take note of what the type of material the puppy is chewing (if wood - there are a lot of wooden toys for dogs, these days), and try to barricade off the area or prevent access to it. I will also mentally 'note' that that spot is something that has appeal for the pup.

Any time I can't DIRECTLY supervise the pup, they are in their crate. That is especially the case if there is 'stuff' around which you know they can't be trusted with yet - including furniture and tables and chairs. Dogs need naps, especially growing dogs - and they can nap just as well safely in their crate as anywhere else.

Dogs don't grow out of this sort of unprevented chewing - they often grow into it. If you just resign yourself to it (which is how your message comes across), you may not address this. I have worked with clients whose adult labradors are eating their house - literally. So please don't just assume that everything will be ok in the future if you just grin and bear it now - it's not true.

This doesn't work. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't give the dog a replacement behaviour or object to focus on instead, it leaves a behavioural vacuum where the unwanted behaviour of blind-eating can just come back again. It is also chip-chip-chipping away at your relationship with your dog. I know 'uh uh' hardly sounds like a big scary aversive, but imagine how you'd feel at work if, every time you leaned across to pick up your coffee cup without thinking about it, your boss said 'uh uh' to you. It's hardly likely to make you feel positively about your boss and it's going to be extremely annoying and irritating. In fact, you might find yourself just waiting until your boss is out the room to help yourself to the coffee without being told 'uh uh'..... That's exactly what your dog is doing.

If you don't want her snooping around behind your back and trying to access this stuff she thinks is great and you think she shouldn't be doing, then you're going to need to radically redefine your expectations of her and your relationship with her to put the onus much more on preoccupying her with stuff she is allowed to have and barricading off or preventing access to what she shouldn't have.

If you can implement prevention 100% and for long enough, then extinction will occur: The dog will stop trying to chew stuff you don't want her to.

Well, your boss in the example above said 'uh uh' a lot to you, and you still helped yourself to coffee when he was out the room - in fact - you were MORE likely to help yourself to coffee when he was out the room...

You are not training your dog to leave these items alone, you are simply training her not to do it (at best) when you can see. That's not really going to work...

Options and choices. Don't give the dog options and choices if you know they may not make good ones.

I wouldn't recommend walking her every time she wakes from a nap, that sounds a bit excessive. It may be possible that you are providing too MUCH stimulation and excitement and interest in her life, leading to over-arousal which is coming out in chewing... https://paws4udogs.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/too-much-of-a-good-thing/

Dogs need to learn to chill and relax and that every waking moment is not filled with things of amazement...

I think you will get there, if you can address this chewing issue!

 

Jo Laurens.... thank you for your detailed response. I knew I was missing somwthing and I absolutely agree with all you’ve said. More supervision is necessary and options for better choices. Had not tried tethering her indoors but will try that, too.

As for the walking, our trainer had told us that It would be a huge part of managing her energy. And I have found that without it, if we are playing, she gets over excited very easily. Though lately, she is chilling out just a little bit more.

Again, many thanks for your response!

Cheers!!

 

Try training her every time she wakes from a nap, instead - then she will get to use her brain more and not just get over-stimulated with physical exercise

 

Forgive me for waiting so long to thank you, DizzyDaisy.. I was totally overwhelmed last week!

 

Thank you, Chewies_mum, I am trying my best to look forward to when things settle a little more!

 

Happy to report that I tried that yesterday... I was surprised how quickly she needed a nap after some training.. Of course, that doesn't help me with my Fitbit steps. LOL I am in a weekly challenge with some athletes, who average about 100K steps from Monday-Friday. Wow.

 

Hello I'm new to this forum I don't actually have a lab puppy we have a golden retriever. But I just wanted to say I'm so pleased I read this post and the replies - our puppy is 14 weeks and I'm already feeling completely overwhelmed! I was prepared for it being hard work but I too am exhausted. We start training next week and I'm hoping things will improve. I have some Kong's which so far i have used with dry kibble this keeps her happy for a few minutes ive tried frozen but she didn't seem to be able to get it out and lost interest. Also I've resorted to feeding her before us as she barks at us if we try and sit down to eat when she's hungry - I don't really believe in the whole dominance theory thing but I have been told I'm making a big mistake? Just wondering if anyone has any advice on feeding time's. She can be wuite pushy and I don't know how much is normal puppy behaviour or if I should be concerned- she barges and runs into us when playing stands on our feet shakes her toys really aggressively. We haven't found a good way to play with her as shes not that interested in fetch games and play often ends in her getting over excited jumping , barging biting at clothes. We ignore her when shes doing something we dont want and prsise her lots when she is. She's only 14 weeks but big and getting bigger by the day . On the plus side she sleeps well overnight in the kitchen and house training is going really well . I'm just finding her quite a handful !

 

Yes puppies are exhausting...

I think I've said it elsewhere but stuffing Kongs is an art form. If you make it too hard, the pup will give up. If you make it too easy, it is done in 5 seconds and the pup is back to being a terror. The best thing is to put a few bits in which are difficult but very tasty, and then some much easier stuff as well. That way the pup gets reinforced quickly with the easier stuff and is motivated to keep trying on the harder bits. Kibble likely isn't hard enough for the pup - it's just going to come out instantly. And frozen food is the opposite, very difficult.

I would try with a large chunk of cheddar, put it in the Kong, put the Kong in the microwave and microwave till it has melted, then stick your finger in and mush it around in there. Put in some mashed banana and try some peanut butter or soft cheese spread around the top. As she gets better at doing them, add in some healthy pet shop bought stuff like fish skin cubes or Yak Bites which are difficult to get in the Kong - and will be hard for her to get out. Or stuff which is dried but bendy is good too because you can bend it to get it in, then it expands and is hard for the pup to get out again...

You're doing fine. It's not teaching the pup anything bad to feed before you eat.

Normal puppy behaviour.

Well it sounds to me like she would be really into some tug games with rope toys or soft floppy stuffed toys...

 

Kyko started barking when we were eating a couple of days ago. We ignored his behaviour & last night he just lay down and didn’t bother, mind he had a morning in day care yesterday which leaves him exhausted so his behaviour is always really good afterwards. Guess we’ll find out tonight if it was a fluke or not

 

Thankyou for your advice I'll try the different filling ideas for the Kong's. Reassuring aswell that we're not doing anything wrong feeding her first . We have a stair gate across the kitchen where she spends most of the time with access to the garden - it's the room most used so she has plenty of company. Today the phone rang I went to answer it in the hall way she could still see me . She started barking and growling! I know she was hungry I'd just put her food down she has softened kibble- but usually only eats it if mixed with something like chicken or cheese . I know she was telling me that she was hungry but found the growling and quite aggressive barking a bit alarming? We start training next week with a lady who comes well recommended so we'll be to ask her . But just wondered if this is normal or if anyone else has had similar experience . Thankyou