Hi Everyone I feel like I'm going crazy. It's been five days since my hubby and I adopted two four year old Labs and I'm miserable. I am a dog person, have grown up with dogs, and we were desperate to have labs of our own, so we decided to adopt (we have been looking for months). I thought that I would be over the moon to finally have dogs of our own to love, but I told my hubby this morning that I've had thoughts of returning them to their owner/rescue organisation. We live in a complex and are luckily enough to have a beautiful, good sized garden, but these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Car doors closing, people driving, the dogs barking from across the valley..... the rule of the complex is that we can have dogs, but if there are complaints about noise they will be asked to leave. So I'm paranoid about the barking and am constantly on edge. Our golden lab refuses to eat in the mornings when I was told they eat twice a day. We tried to take them for a walk as I love exercise and we barely made it out the gate. They are terribly behaved on a leash and try to go for anything that moves - people and cars included. I was told by the previous owner that the dogs were too strong for them to handle. I can't even go to gym at 5am because I'm afraid the sound of the car will set them off and wake the complex. I had such fun ideas for them - daily walks, off leash walks at the local dog park, fun activities, but now I'm not sure whether we can do that at all. I almost feel overwhelmed and can't cope, and cry all the time - is this normal???? I feel like a horrible person .
Hello, I think its hard to judge how your dogs will be after just 5 days. They will need a period of adjustment and now doubt patience and training. Could you get some support from the rescue organisation, a trainer or classes? Given time they could be the dogs you dream of, but those dogs need training and it sounds like they already had issues that had not been addressed when you got them. Don't be hard on your self, make a plan . Things are always better with a plan and get ready to put some work in. Ask lots of questions on here, there are some fabulous experts ready to help
I agree with Edp above. 5 days is very early and they will be very unsettled. I had a terrible time for the first few months with my dog and my partner wanted to get rid of him. He's my second rescue and so different from the first it was a steep learning curve. Do you know anything about their background? Sounds like they haven't had much training. I think you'll need to practice leash walking in your garden or even inside your house to start with and work with one dog at a time. Consider a harness until you get lead walking under control - Perfect Fit worked well with my dog. My dog barked and barked when we first got him but as we sorted out all his other issues and he settled down with us the barking stopped without any specific training in this area. I hope you start to see some improvement soon. The sense of achievement you get with each little milestone is so satisfying it will be worth it!
Thank you Ruth! I do know that the owners got divorced with the wife unable to take them to her new home and the husband couldn't care less about them. The wife told me that her and the children used to walk the dogs but they became too strong for them, and so they stopped the walking. I'm hoping that "old" dogs can learn new tricks, and with the help of a trainer we can get them to walk nicely on a leash. We will definitely get harnesses for them. Shew at least there's some hope with the barking!
I think old dogs can learn new tricks but it does take longer - they've had a long time to practise doing things wrong. I hope your trainer is a good one - if they start recommending punishment, prong collars etc get another one. You need your dogs to trust you not be scared of you.
We had our first private class with the trainer yesterday and she was wonderful! She's totally the opposite to everything you described I'm feeling a lot more upbeat
That's great news. And good to hear you're perservering. There's lots of help available on the internet too. I like Absolute Dogs if you can get passed their manic presenting style.
Hi Sarah, How wonderful of you to adopt a pair of labs Are they siblings or a bonded pair? Start interviewing trainers ASAP. In an ideal world a trainer might also have day facility, a nice structured daycare? If you adopted thru a (lab?) rescue begin with them since they may have a sense of who is good in your area. Depending on where you live your local SPCA may have qualified trainers on their behavioral team. Our local SPCA (large city) offers training classes as well as one to one training but you have to read a lot of fine print to find the 1:2:1 What happens when you separate them? Maybe bake cookies for your neighbors and tell them you're working with a trainer. Best of luck to you and let us know how you get on.
Hi there: I understand how you feel, perhaps more then you think. I have a wonderful male lab that i love beyond words. We tried getting him a brother, and this is how i can identify with your feelings....which by the way, i admire you for your honesty. this is a difficult time for all of you. i read about a year ago that labs make the worst puppies (which i ended up identifying with) but they make the greatest dogs. I imagine your 2 (boys? girls?) may be 4, but in a lot of ways, they are puppies. one option i know of is version of dog boot camp where your labs would go away for 2 weeks and come back as (shall i say "stepford" dogs?) I mean this light heartedly, but i have been told that it can do wonders. I imagine it is costly, but it would definitely be an investment in all of your futures. There are also behavior modification trainers however, it seems that anyone can print out a business card and call themselves a trainer. There are also some excellent videos to be found on youtube and come to think of it.......there are online classes all of you can take (we took one a few years ago). you go to the gym at 5 am ( i wake every day at 5 to get to mine by 6) so i imagine you are very self-disciplined and this is a great character trait for a dog prent to have. I understand your multiple range of feelings, including regret. perhaps (and this is easier said then done), you can capture the precious moments in the day together and hold them close to your heart, especially when you are chasing 8 paws around the house, under the bed, and you are not able to even blink for a second. Be well!
I had to re-read your comment about baking cookies because the first time it didnt click. you would be my kind of neighbor! i will smile the next time i hear my neigbors grand-dog barking (it barks excessively when it is outside, and my boy is the complete opposite). i do like my neighbor and the little dog which makes all the difference in the world. Thank you.
Unfortunately they won't be able to join a group training class as the dogs were never socialised which makes it very difficult. We have started classes with a wonderful trainer who actually comes to our house and does the class so it's not overwhelming for the dogs. The local vets all know her and she seems really knowledgeable. I'm totally going to bake the cookies - thank you for that wonderful idea!
Thank you so much for your message, I am so relieved that there are people out there that understand . Thank you for bringing the situation into perspective for me as well as for your suggestions. Labbie people are so helpful and lovely!
So we're almost at three weeks and things have gotten really bad. We received our first lot of written complaints from the complex opposite us saying that the dogs are barking all day while we're at work. I checked with my direct neighbour, because nobody from our own complex has complained and she confirmed this. Our trainer doesn't believe it's separation anxiety and puts it down to them still settling in. My husband and I both work so this is very difficult. We are going to try leaving doors open and putting the radio on to try calm them down and we have put them on anxiety medication which I'm guessing is not working. I'm heart broken because they are actually such good girls. They are doing so well in their training and are so loving towards us. We're now under serious pressure and highly stressed. I am so torn because I have started growing a bond with them, I'm thinking if this doesn't come right soon, we may have to think about returning them to their owner, but then I'm not sure what will happen to them. This is something we've been wanting for ages and it's turned out to be incredibly stressful and exhausting.
Are you able to speak to the people opposite to explain the situation? Also, is a good daycare a possibility for them? I know it is expensive but we have found it very helpful for our dog.
Hi there, we can only communicate through our body corporate chairman so we've explained the situation but the complaining complex's chairman wants a more "positive" response whatever that is. There is an amazing doggy daycare place not far from us which would be ideal. But considering we are paying for private training lessons, decent food, anti anxiety meds, kiddy gates etc., we won't be able to afford it
I bet you won’t need the trainer for long, then you can switch your spending to day care. Hang in there, you are doing an awesome job
