Hello! This isn’t really a query but just a thought I had. I’ve had Chester for nearly 3 weeks now, he’s coming up to 11 weeks old and he’s bloomin beautiful but an absolute terror whenever he’s awake. My partner thinks he “shouldn’t be biting” but I’ve explained that this it very normal! Chester is sleeping from 11.30pm to 5.45am without a toilet break which is amazing for his age. He still has some toilet accidents during the day but I’ve noticed it’s only when he thinks there’s a possibility of food so he’s too distracted to go to the back door. Training is... well... we’re working on it. We’ve got sit, wait, lay down, some recall but only when he knows it’s happening (not when he’s busy elsewhere in the garden!). He’s getting better wearing his harness but now expect treats every few steps... As soon as he has his second jabs we’ll be at puppy training. I think he has the capability to be very obedient. He is typically highly food driven which makes training easier. We feel very lucky but I am absolutely exhausted. I work from home so I am non-stop with him, even in the evenings. The house is a mess, I barely ate for the first week, couldn’t sleep for the worry he would wake up. I don’t think I’ve had the puppy blues as such, luckily I fell for him the moment I saw him, but I do have (many) moments where I think “oh god, when will this improve, how long do I have to keep this constant vigilance up”. We have no children in the house, except a 10yr old step son who stays on weekends and knows not to play rough with Chester or crocolab will emerge... so it amazes me that some people on here are raising a puppy whilst having young children in the house. This is an unexpected (but very rewarding) second full time job and I can’t imagine how people cope. Occasionally we have our 3yr old niece over to visit and I cannot take my eyes off her or Chester for fear of him biting her. I couldn’t imagine it 24/7. This forum has been a godsend. I’m on it every day looking for answers and generally feeling relieved that I’m not the only one going through these struggles and that Chester isn’t an aggressive crazy animal but just a typical gorgeous handful. So thanks guys and good luck to you all!
Hang in there! It does get better, the first few weeks are very tough, especially if you are losing out on sleep.. Just keep him active, socialize him, and see if you can get him into some training or puppy kindergarten so that he can play with other puppies. Somewhere between month 3 and 4, you'll see a big change - its almost as though a lightbulb goes off in their head and that's just so worth it!
I hope this is true as ours is just turned 3 months and I’m considering re homing due to utter exhaustion and our family under so much pressure. Training 24/7 trying so hard, missing out on our basic needs being met, missing quality time with the kids and husband. Not being able to concentrate on work, let alone getting housework done. 2 kids at home - school age. Going to puppy preschool and seeing our pup so crazy compared to all of the others, feeling like a failure, feeling like we are literally getting nowhere with all of this and causing so much stress and upset amongst the family. My kids would be devastated if I re homed pup but I do majority of the looking after and training. And I’m sure the family needs me to be sane more than having a crazy puppy rule our lives. I hope things improve before I have a breakdown
Have things gotten better for you? I’m struggling and I have 2 kids. I’m seriously considering re homing. It makes me very sad to feel this way.
Hang in there. The puppy phase can be very difficult but it doesn't last long. Things will get better soon,
I think the reality it pups are hard work and until you live it, you can’t really understand it. Having 2 children as well brings added stress. Don’t feel like a failure, labs are like this and many of us have had pups like this that grow up to be the wonderful family pet you want. My Meg was the worst at obedience class, too friendly and not focussed. I used to feel rubbish compared to many of the other dogs there. We stuck with it and by a year she was an utter delight and passed 2 obedience awards with flying colours on her 1st birthday. You have a way to go yet, but if you stick with her, it will be so worth it. My boys and dog are inseparable now. Good luck.
Abi123 Did you crate train your puppy? A toppl with frozen minced meat and a crate would give you a break from the continuous supervision.
We use stuffed kongs in her crate, and have trialed a flavoured chew bone. We have purchased a lickamat and a kong topple toy to help with extending meal times and popping treats in for a distraction. at what point would we call it on re homing. By that I mean, how much longer do we do this before we can’t do it anymore? I worry about. It being available for my family. I like having our pup, but it is so relentlessly hard that I am becoming anxious about everything in my life, not being able to keep up with anything and finding enjoying general stuff hard. when people say “it will pass - give it a year, 2 years, after 5 years our dog is still a puppy” we feel tremendously deflated and feel imprisoned to a degree. lockdowns were easier for us than this unfortunately. And our pup isnt the worst I’ve read about!
Hey Gertie, think I replied on your positive experiences thread before. Sorry to hear that you are struggling with pup. It sounds like you need a little break. Could you possibly use a day care / dog walking service? Or ask your partner to take over at the weekend while you get a break and sort kids/ house etc? You say you're picking up all the training and puppy things - perhaps you could look into trainers who work with children? Apologies as I'm not sure what school age will mean for you, If the kids can get puppy to sit etc and practice things with pup that you've taught? The kids engaging in the training will be more positive and calming for pup. It sounds like you're doing all the right things with enrichment ideas (lickimat etc). You're doing really well, this is the hardest bit with the lack of sleep / constant vigilance.
I was also gonna ask the age of your children. If they are at a responsible age, maybe they can take the pup outside and play and wear her out and maybe even themselves. You said they would be devastated if you were to rehome her, then maybe have a frank talk with them and let them know everyone needs to pitch in because it's to much on you. Trust me, I have no little ones at home but a 4 month old girl who is the most stubborn dog I have ever had..my house is a disaster area but I am exhausted from her. I also know that she will grow into the perfect girl in time. Good luck
You say your puppy is 3 months old? So you've had him for about a month... I predict that in another month or two you'll be getting better sleep at least and from my own experience that will go a long way towards you feeling better.
This is so lovely to hear! I really hope that in a year’s time we also have an obedient dog! We love her and are doing our absolute best for her. We can’t do much more than we are now so if we can find balance along this journey we will reap the rewards as you are!!!
Martha my kids are 9 an 12 and yes, we’ve had “that talk” and it caused tears because they love her so much. They are pitching in, but need to step it up a bit. They can command her to sit, help her settle to sleep and they play well with her outside (until pup attacks the ankles! Then I step in to settle her) they worry about taking her outside without me or my husband with them, mainly due to her attempting to eat everything. She is actually getting a little better at ignoring stones and similar objects (we worry about her choking) We are teaching her “leave it” a d she is brilliant at it when we are training inside. We just have to keep it up and then begin to transfer the training outside. Pup will be vaccinated in a few days and we can start training her for going for walks - and as hard as this will be it will hopefully help us feel less trapped!
Deboragh, yes, 3 months old, been with us for four weeks. She sleeps from 9pm to 6:30am - but is waking a little earlier because my husband is getting up at 6am to get ready for work. This is ok, it’s just keeping her occupied during the morning rush with kids getting ready for school (and myself getting ready for work on my two work days). I’ve decided to buy a lickimat and a kong topple toy to add to our feeding toys and just feed her breakfast through the toys so extend her independent time during these parts of the day. (And perhaps feed all meals through the use of these toys) Also, we are buying more toys to have a “library” of toys on rotation. We can officially start taking her for walks in about four days time - not that she is trained to walk on a lead yet - but that’s what we will start doing. This will hopefully help us too. Our puppy day care people said that it’ll get harder again in 6-9 months when she hits “teenage” phase. Not what we wanted to hear!!!!
Hi Blacklab! Thanks for your reply! We are actually doing really well - just like you say. And we can’t do anymore than what we are doing now. We would literally have nervous breakdowns if we tried harder than this! My friend today told me to just relax about it all a bit more and stop trying to be perfect. She said that we can always undo behaviours that we may miss with our training. She also said we should let her out of her pen more (her pen is a large confinement area, not a small pen) But this bit of advice I’m not 100% sold on, as we feel if she has too much freedom in the house too soon she would fall into too many “failures” and not experience enough successes. Hmmm. out kids are 9 and 12 and are actually doing really well with pup. They are great with the sit command for example. They play well with her and are good at redirecting biting behaviour to chew toys and also moving away and not giving attention if pup does bite them. We’ve had the talk about re homing and the importance of all pitching in. There were tears, and we are all under pressure but we all want to keep trying for puppy. And yep - I need a little break for sure! My husband is really good, he helps out a lot. I took pup to day care today while I went to work and she has slept a lot since we got home so I’ve had a half hour sit on the couch after housework. She goes back again tomorrow so I should get another sit when I get her home. I may consider a morning of day care one day soon just so I have a morning off. But I’m wary of leaving her there too much. 2 days a week might be enough for her. (9-4pm days)
The biting does get much better! It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it. We have no kids and I remember saying ‘how on earth do you do this with children?!’ So I have the upmost respect for those that do. I think he’s general nipping ended about 4 months but we didn’t get excitable mouthing and nipping sleeves out of him until 9/10 months. He’s now almost 1 and we’ve in the midst of adolescence which is bringing its own issues. Pretty good around the house but recall has gone backwards, dogs are far more interesting than us and the puppy that we were so smug about at 5-7 months shows us glimpses that he’s still in there but this big boisterous dog comes out to play more often than not. All I can advise is to embrace the chaos but be as consistent as you can, don’t accept anything from them now that you wouldn’t like an adult dog doing. There’ll be times you’ll feel like you made a mistake, times they will embarrass you more than you know but stick with it and in a couple of yours you’ll have a well rounded dog. We’re waiting for obedience classes to reopen and then he’s going to be straight in there every week. He was teachers pet in his puppy class but I have a feeling he’ll be class clown now!
Hi Gertie, Sorry you are feeling so rough. I was pretty desperate at that stage too. We are at 5 months now. Biting has stopped for most of the day and outr pup is much more affectionate and enjoys a tummy rub without trying to take your hand off. We have started gundog training which has given us more to focus on and fun games to play. I am looking into day care so that one day a fortnight she is being cared for while we are free to have a day off. I think this little bit of a break might help me stay positive. Maybe you deserve a bit of puppy free time. The puppy won't notice and you won't need to do it forever. X
Thanks Lizzie! we are finding that pup is settling down more and more now at 13 weeks old. She enjoys day care two days per week while I’m at the office. And for at least two days after she is very chilled and obedient and happy. Also, she seems to be more ok with being in her pen while I am in the same or adjacent room tidying up or eating meals. I actually think a day at day care for me to have a day off would be a great idea! I just feel guilty that it would the. Be three days in that week she would be at day care. I know she wouldn’t mind, but you know - I would feel guilty! on school holidays we wouldn’t need to send her to day care, so maybe every school holiday period we can still send her and have a couple of family days sans pup. my next little challenge is to train her to behave when in the main part of our house (outside of her pen). We are doing ok with this so far - she knows to sit next to the couch and not jump up. She sits for a treat and drops to pay down near our feet. So this is one success! We practice leave it training around the remainder of the living area and kitchen/dining (open plan design). But my kids haven’t completely puppy proofed the space (I have puppy proofed by my kids had to put away their stuff - I guess they might learn the hard way!) I want to know when pup will be trusted outside her pen. I reckon it’ll be a long while away, but I just so wish it could happen sooner. That way she could follow us around, or drop and chew a toy while we cook dinner etc. we want to set up a bed for her in the main living space near the front door to train her to go to her bed when visitors arrive. So perhaps we’ll focus on that next. glad to hear things are progressing well for you too!
