Hi all, I’m sitting here crying at the thought that we might not be able to keep our new puppy as, despite owning two Labradors from puppies to 12 and 13 years old respectively, I don’t feel able to handle this one and feel it would be kinder for her and everyone in the family if we returned her to her breeder sooner rather than later. I understand that some will have very strong views on us as people and a family but we are devastated at having to even think about this so early in owning a puppy so I’d be grateful if only constructive advice could be put forward as the misery is enough in itself. Puppy - she is 11 weeks old this weekend and is a black Labrador. We’ve previously had a yellow and a chocolate Labrador. She is from field trial pedigree as was our last one. We’ve had her for 13 days. Behaviour - isn’t abnormal for a Labrador puppy at all and she’s a quick learner. It’s the level of her behaviour and the fact that I and my teenage daughter who, as I’ve mentioned in another post,has mental health issues, are getting no rest from the behaviour even when puppy has had a time out. She’s biting, scratching and leaping at us constantly. She’s also trying to jump on the furniture which is high and I’m worried about her developing joints as our first lab had dysplasia. I have no issues, by the way, with my dogs being on our furniture so the issue is the damage to puppy getting on and off that I worry about in that respect. She’s growling and barking at us when she doesn’t get her way. Training and toileting - she has done 1 poo in the house in 13days nd the rest outside. We are down to 1 wee a day in the house and the odd day of none in the house. I have no issue with cleaning up after her and that will take as long as it takes but it’s going very well so far. Obedience training - she has learned sit, stand, off and working on stay at the moment. She will follow a lure in a circle. We start puppy classes at the end of June. Both myself and my daughter do short training sessions two or three times a day with her. She is being second vaccinated today so will be able to have leash walks shortly. Sleeping - puppy has a couple of naps in a morning of about an hour each. She did nap in an afternoon but has stopped in the last few days and this seems to have been a trigger for her behaviour deterioration. She’s that unruly baby/ toddler who is cranky and over-excited from lack of sleep. How ever, I would also say that she behaves like this even after a nights sleep and rest in her crate from 10.30pm to 6.30am with 1 toilet visit at 3.00am so there may be something else feeding in. Crate - she has been in a crate from day one. It is covered. To help her settle in to it, I’ve given all her meals in it and lots of treats in it and gentle cuddles whilst she’s been quiet in it. She has a doggy bed that is just the right size for her so she can snuggle plus vet bed underneath. She has a snuggle pet at night with her. I slept at the side of her crate for 4 nights when we brought her home so she wouldn’t feel abandoned at night She sleeps well over night in the crate but won’t nap in it during the day. She howls and whines if put in the crate in the day and won’t settle. I;m worried that I haven’t done crate training properly but I’ve done everything I read up on in connection with it and successfully crate trained my last lab so it became her place of safety. Feeding - I’ve kept her on the kibble the breeder used but am shifting her over to our preferred brand very gradually to see how she does on it. It has less grain in it. She has 4 meals a day at the moment at set times. I try and work rest and play periods round that schedule. Playpen - her crate is inside a play pen as I have to go back to work next week and I’ve never been comfortable with locking a puppy in a crate for long periods in the day. I work 4 days a week but can work 1 or 2 days from home. However, I’m unlikely to get anything done working from home as things stand. The days she is at home on her own, I’ve arranged for puppy visits from our old dog Walker and my daughter gets home at 4.10pm from post 16 education. The problem with the playpen is the puppy hates it and jumps so high when she is in it that I am terrified she will injure herself. I’m wondering if there is some springer spaniel in her or terrier somewhere. Family - my husband works abroad a lot and always has so I’ve coped with a Labrador pup before in that situation and did it last time with two young children. However, my youngest is 17 and we are fighting to get her assessed for the inattentive form of ADHD but mental health services in the UK are on their knees so we are getting nowhere at the moment and she has therefore had no treatment despite us trying to source privately. Life at home with a feels like we are harbouring a 4 legged devil but I know that this is not puppies fault and we may well be the wrong family for her. I have no bond with her and am not enjoying her at all. Any ideas would be appreciated as we will need to make the decision soon about whether to send her back. I’ve never encountered a puppy where the usual behaviours are so excessive. Apologies for the wall of text in advance.
Sorry you are having such a hard time. There will be hundreds of threads on here with similar puppy issues. It already sounds like you have your hands full so maybe now is not the time to be struggling with this. From memory previous responses from people in the know seem to be guiding towards handing the puppy back to the breeder sooner rather than later to give the puppy the best chance to settle into a new home. All the best with your decision.
As an occasional breeder, I would much prefer a puppy to be returned to me and the sooner the better.
You sound a very caring person and obviously want your puppy to be safe and happy. It seems as if you have put a lot of thought into providing for your puppy's needs. However it also sounds as though you have your hands full and that now is perhaps not the best time to have a puppy, so I don't think you should feel guilty about returning the puppy to the breeder.
Just my view, she is not a 4 legged devil, just a normal pup. However, you are not the first to acknowledge the time for a puppy in your life at the moment is maybe not now. There is no shame on admitting that and getting her back to the breeder asap. You can always try again when your life is more settled. Sounds like your family should be your focus just now and thats ok.
I am sorry for your predicament. I hope you can find a solution that suits your family and the puppy's needs.
I agree with Edp- Puppies require a lot of time, and that is particularly true of Labs. They detest being alone and do much better when they are around their humans and/or other dogs. I understand your situation is kind of difficult just now, but I would never expect a Lab puppy to spend the night or even a fair portion of the day in a crate or cage- They just aren't that kind of dog. They have a lot of energy and can be very destructive if not given plenty of activity. They also quite often suffer from separation anxiety when left on their own. I would suggest you return her if possible, and barring that, consider rehoming with a family where someone is home most of the time. If neither of those is an option, consider getting another dog so she will have a 'pack-mate'. My 2 cents for what it's worth!
Hi Karen, I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hope the support you're receiving here is helping you find clarity and confidence to make the right decision for you, your puppy, and your family. Here at HQ we would just like to add though, that if you're already struggling with one puppy, getting a second puppy is very likely to make your situation more stressful, rather than less. Best wishes, Sarah.
