I am now wondering if getting myself a dog has been the right move........... I have serious mental health issues due to past abuse which I think is now affecting my pup. He is 4 month and 3 week old on Tuesday. I have up until recently been rather good with him. Training him loadsa new tricks and manners but now he is getting bigger and older im now noticing my insecurity around him. I will not allow anything or anyone to dominate me anymore! So now im slowly beginning to think he is being dominant which is daft even to me LOGICALLY! Im worried im becoming aggressive emotionally towards him. Im becoming very anxious around him. My heart will start pounding around him and I find it hard to breath and im worried he will see this and start testing me. Im also getting very depressed and im worried im neglecting him emotionaly. I feed him walk him etc but when im depressed I don't play with him or interact with him much and I will crate him and go upstairs to "hide". One day im cuddling him like a baby and playing and training, the next its like I pretend he doesn't exist, or if I must admit wish he didn't. Im currently having emdr (to help manage ptsd symtoms) treatment to help release trapped memories which hits me like a steam train afterwards. Would it be better to rehome my poor puppy? Im so upset right now
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. It does sound like having a dog at the moment is not making your life easier. Is it possible for you to discuss the options with your therapist, to see if you can work out what will be best for you and your dog?
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? I too am sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time and perhaps your therapist would be able to help you decide what's best for you and your dog. In the meantime do you have anyone who could help with the dog to lighten the load during this particularly difficult time and give your pup some consistency? If it's any help I don't think dogs ever judge us Wishing you all the best.
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Same here - very sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at present. Perhaps right now a dog is just too much for you to handle, in which case rehoming might be the best bet for him - and for you. On the other hand, if you have someone who can help take care of him while you are feeling down, you might find that later on, when he is no longer quite such a needy 'pup', that he could be a huge support for you. Dogs are terrifically 'giving' emotionally, and their companionship and love can be tremendously comforting. Hoping you find the best solution for both of you.
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? awh this is so sad, i have bipola, and my moods move from high to low,i also have social anxiety, i have found jasper is the best thing that as ever happened to me, he also is five month next week, i am under the mental health team, they can not believe the difference in me, i never went out of the house before i got jasper, re walking i go with my son, a massive step for me, for the very first time i walked on my own yesterday,i am very pleased with my self, without jasper i would never been able to do this, i am lucky i have my son who lives with me, so i do get help when hes home from work, if you could get some help with him,as you have done all the hard work now, some one told me the first 6 month are the hardest your almost there, good luck what ever you decide
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? I am so sorry for your predicament ,must be very hard for you . Its a fact that dogs do pick up on our moods and react accordingly . Labs , being quite sensitive souls will do this more than many other breeds, so when you are very anxious , he will be the same . More than anything, young pups ( and adults too ) need consistency, they thrive on routine and a happy household and so for this reason , as you are struggling with him , I do think that maybe rehoming might be the better option for both of you . You mention that you are finding it all too much , and I cant blame you for this, mental health issues are very hard to cope with and I do feel for you, but I cant help thinking that the pup is maybe making life worse for you, good luck .
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? I don't have anything useful to add to this, only to say how very sorry I am for you and the situation you find yourself in with your health and puppy. Maybe you could talk it over with family and good friends and see if they could help with the puppy in some way until you feel you can cope with him. What ever you decide make sure it is what is right for you and your puppy, I wish you all the luck in the world. Please take care of yourself. Helen xx
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? I'm so sorry you have found yourself in this predicament, but I feel you already know the answer to your question, else you wouldn't be asking here. With regards to rearing a puppy, the one thing they need most of all is consistency and if they don't get it, it's then they start to push their luck to see what else they can get away with and I've a feeling this will only add to your anxiety if it happens. All young dogs do push their luck occasionally anyway, it's all part of growing up and it has nothing to do with dominance, but if he is making you feel so anxious now, while he is still a very young baby dog, then I can't help but wonder how you will cope when he's full grown, hits adolescence and really tests the boundaries. I can only be honest with you and say, I think it would be best for both you and the pup if you rehomed him....Sorry. The first thing you should do is ask his breeder if they will take him back, as most good breeders would hate to see one of their pups moved on without them knowing where it had ended up. If they really aren't interested, then please contact a Labrador Rescue. If you put the rough area you live in, I can give you the contact details of your nearest one. The pup will then go to a home which has been fully assessed and deemed fit to have him. Please, please, please don't put him on any free ads sites, as far too many dogs are picked up and sold on from these places and people will tell you all manner of lies to get you to sell them the pup, which you have no way of checking up on. I am sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but as I said before, I think you know in your heart of hearts this isn't working out, so it's just a case of where you go from here.
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? No Jules, I don't think you are right that this person knows what the answer is. What she probably would like is some careful, thoughtful and friendly advice, not hectoring or bullying. I THINK your heart is in the right place, but you are terribly forthright and don't seem to give much thought to the effect your words may have on others - particularly not when they are in a sensitive or worried state. Perhaps you could make an effort to be a little more mindful of other people's feelings in your posts. Karen
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? [quote author=Karen link=topic=1504.msg10493#msg10493 date=1368472509] No Jules, I don't think you are right that this person knows what the answer is. What she probably would like is some careful, thoughtful and friendly advice, not hectoring or bullying. I THINK your heart is in the right place, but you are terribly forthright and don't seem to give much thought to the effect your words may have on others - particularly not when they are in a sensitive or worried state. Perhaps you could make an effort to be a little more mindful of other people's feelings in your posts. Karen [/quote] I'm sorry if I'm not Pink and Fluffy enough for you, Karen. I happen to believe that honesty is the best policy. I am more than happy to help this lady do what's right for her and for the pup, but what I'm not about to do is waffle on giving false hope to anyone, as that achieves nothing.
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? i agree with you karen, jules is very insensitive, the lady is having an harder enough time, :'(
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Honesty is absolutely the best Jules - particularly when tempered with a little humility and empathy. In this particular case we don't know all the facts - how can we? And this lady is clearly very distressed and in need of some supportive advice. So while you may be right in your assessment, I am certain that a little gentleness in the delivery could not go amiss!
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Hi there, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. That must have been a very difficult post to write. Caring for a puppy can be quite a strain at the best of times. It sounds as though you are going through a tough time right now, and maybe need to focus on your own needs for the time being. Rather than rushing into a decision when you feel especially down, an ideal solution might be to get someone, a friend or relative, to look after your puppy for a week or two, to give you chance to think, and talk things through with your medical advisors. If you do decide to rehome your puppy, don't be hard on yourself, young puppies are very adaptable and he will be happy once he has settled in to a new home. As Jules has suggested, your puppy's breeder is the first person to contact, she may even be prepared to have him back on a temporary short term basis, whilst you think things through. Failing that, a Labrador rescue centre will take on the difficult task of finding a good home for you. You can find a list of societies here I hope things improve for you soon and that you are able to focus on getting well again. Best wishes Pippa
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Hello all thanks very much for your replies. Including the private messages (I do not have permission to reply privately atm). That was one of the worst days I have had for nearly a year. I had hit an all time low (even for me). I have had to take a step back and receive some help from my family which has helped a lot. I am coping a lot better now and now know if I need support I will have it there and that helps. I am going to take it over with my therapist and see if she can help calm the "panic attacks". I have been making it up to him a lot this past few days. I bought some bubbles to play with and he goes barmy for them, so been playing a lot. I think I will have to remember that there is always help, even if I cannot see it at the time! So thanks everyone for your support! It DID help! Thanks! xxx
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Hi, so very pleased you are OK and receiving help and support which will make a huge difference to you and your puppy. Enjoy the good days and call on anyone that can help you. We are all here to help you. Helen xx
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Really glad to hear you are feeling better... Please don't ever hesitate to ask for help on this forum - we have all been through our dark times and are more than happy to listen and to give advice if needed or wanted! What is your puppy's name? Is he a labrador? Good luck, and keep us posted as to how you get on!! Karen
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? So very pleased that you are feeling more positive and happier now . As Karen rightly says, we all have our troubled times during which we can wonder at our lunacy of adding a puppy into the equasion, but they do bring joy . So pleased that you have support now, just knowing this will help you for sure x
Re: Am i too "clicky" to own a dog??? Hello I am so pleased that things are better for you. I have depression, and have to say that I would be lost without my dogs. Saying that, there are days were I find it difficult to find the energy to walk or play with them, and can feel totally overwhelmed! However, once I'm out and walking, seeing them play and enjoy themselves it does lift my spirits. I really hope that your health improves, as this can be an up hill struggle, so good luck, and wish you well
