Hello all! My name is Lisa and I have the puppy-blues. :-\ I know I'm not alone in that and it wasn't how I wanted to start out here (I wanted to be joyful, as if having a puppy is just awesome! LOL) but the reality is it's yet another day of frustration and some tears. And this sense that we're supposed to lie about all that and pretend this is the most wonderful time of our lives or there must be something wrong with us. We've had our little yellow girl for 8 weeks now (she's just coming up on 4 months on Monday) and while she has some redeeming qualities, she's often driving us crazy trying to figure out how to solve her issues (I'm guessing I should start a new post with my questions about those). With SO many differing opinions and methods (from Cesar to New Skete, etc.) out there, we're often left wondering how much of the behavior issues are just puppy things she'll grow out of or if they are things we're supposed to train out of her (which is often to no avail no matter how hard we try). This is our second yellow lab. Our first puppy was 19 years ago and she had major behavioral issues of dominance...puppy blues lasted at least a year with her! LOL But eventually she settled into a pretty decent companion dog, we had nearly 14 years with her and I still miss her every day. We spent her life learning a lot about how to handle a dog and we thought we'd be just fine this time around. We read books and watched various training videos in preparing for our new puppy. And yet, nothing seems to have prepared us for her particular issues or how to solve them. She's very different from our last and we had so hoped for a better puppy experience for all of us involved but we've ended up feeling the same old blues. My mantra every day is "this too shall pass" but then there's a new struggle! Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I know from reading other posts that I'm not alone in all this and we will, somehow, mostly likely, get through it in time. Thank you for your time.
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi Lisa, and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time of it with your girl (what is her name?). I know you will probably have read a lot of posts from other puppy owners and so, as you said, know that you are far from being alone. It is perfectly alright to be totally honest about the fact that puppy raising can be a big struggle as we cope, 24/7, with a seemingly never-tiring bundle of energy, with teeth!!! Right now is a really hard time, I am sure. You are probably also not managing to get enough sleep, and that only ever makes things worse. It is also a huge contrast to go from an old dog who you knew inside-out, to a wild and rambunctious puppy that rules your life.... Maybe you can tell us about a few of the things that are causing you the most stress and difficulty, and how you have been approaching those things so far?
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi Lisa, Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it. When you are going through this it seems like it will never get better and things will never change. I hope you can see SOME improvements here and there....if so, try to take some hope from that. As Rachel said, if you could give us an idea of what some of your pups issues are, we might be able to give you some advice. Don't worry, we are very happy to help if we can! This is a great place to find sympathy and support, and to find others who are dealing with the same problems. I hope we can be of help.
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Thank you both for your kind words of welcome and encouragement! Our puppy's name is Acacia (ah-kay-sha). Meaningful to us for SO many reasons but the most important one was to honor our previous girl, Kenya (as the acacia tree is important/iconic in Africa). Oberon (Rachel) - you are so right! We totally knew how to live with Kenya and there's such a learning curve with a new one who's just so different (plus we live in an entirely different environment than before). Lisa - I'm glad you brought up being aware of seeing improvements because that IS so important, to be thankful for the positive things that are improving day to day. And we do see some small improvements some days, thankfully. Ok, well I'll start with why I finally took the plunge and posted today after having signed up something like 6 weeks ago. We live in a rural area, in a forest. Acacia doesn't really like to play with toys (which really boggles our minds) so we've been taking her for 2-3 walks a day instead but we've all been getting a little bored (plus there are wolf issues in our area and I have chronic pain issues and can't walk every single day sometimes) so we decided to have another go at playing outside in our large, fenced front yard. For 2 days this went fairly well. But today she wouldn't play, she just wanted to eat rocks and pieces of wood (something that's a constant battle anyway). No amount of excitement could get her interested in the few toys she kind of likes. A friend who is also a bit of a trainer previously suggested using food to get her to bring the toys back but this resulted in her vomiting instead so that was a no-go. A lab that won't play or retrieve?! What's the world coming to? LOL She is a fairly calm, low-key puppy most of the time but she does have energy she needs to burn off so we need something to do with her so she'll sleep at night. She seems to want to run around but frankly, all she does off-leash is eat stuff she shouldn't and play keep-away so she ends up on leash more, even in our fenced yards. She won't come when called if she's got something she wants to keep. I know recall is something we have to do a lot of work on. We have tons of toys and at least 11 chew things of various types (everything from Kongs to Nylabone things to water buffalo horns and elk antlers) so she's got plenty to choose from rather than wood and rocks but nope, that's all she wants when we're outside. I've even tried several bittering sprays on the stuff she wants to eat/chew and she isn't at all bothered by them. Walking with her is it's own challenge but we're working on that every day so I'm sure there will be improvements. She's always grabbing the leash with her teeth and paws or jumping up with it though and gets quite annoying when in our yard or close to home. On the walks, away from the house she totally leaves it alone, thankfully. Anyway, that's a little of what's going on. She's so freakin' bitey too but we know that's a puppy thing and she's not too mean about it, just constant. She's actually a total love and just wants to cuddle most of the time...and bite you while in your arms. LOL
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi Lisa! Sorry to hear you seem so overwhelmed by everything. It can be so frustrating at times and, like (other) Lisa said, you have to focus on the positive changes that have been made. I have to note the two training methods you mentioned - both Cesar Milan and the Monks of New Skete (I believe) use the dominance model in their training methods, which has been debunked in more recent years. Most people on this forum use positive reinforcement for training their dogs, so that could be something to look into. I can recommend picking up a copy of Pippa's book, The Happy Puppy Handbook which explains the process of training using this method, as well as lots of other hints and tips about life with a rambunctious puppy. It helped me enormously with my pups! There's lots of helpful articles on the main website (www.thelabradorsite.com), too, so for specific issues, you can read up on there for free - and of course, this forum is an invaluable resource with loads of helpful, experienced people always willing to help. I find that mine are less interested in toys that they have constant access to, so I limit them to only a couple at once, and I rotate the toys on a weekly or fortnightly basis. They get way more excited over a "new" toy than one that's been lying around. But some pups need to learn how to play! I have another book, "Learning Games" by Kay Lawrence that has lots of ideas of things you can do with your dog. To tire her out, I'd also recommend a few short (5-10 minute) sessions of training a day. This will tire her our and, if using positive reinforcement, will increase your bond with your puppy, too. I find this a really important part of my relationship with my puppies - after a good training session, I'm proud of them and proud of myself, too - so everyone feels good Specifically with the on-lead walking, if she's playing a fool, stand still and ignore her (no eye contact). As soon as she stops, say "good" (or click if you're using a clicker) and then give her a treat. Then start walking. As soon as she starts grabbing the lead again, stop, look away and wait for her to stop again. It's a slow process, but you'll get there! Good luck and keep us updated on little Acacia's progress.
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi and welcome from me and 17 month old Harley Things can be very overwhelming, especially when it appears they are ignoring us! The happy puppy book is fab and has so many ideas and suggestions on training and keeping their attention. Have you tried lowering the amount of food at meal times as that allows for treats without being too full? Have you tried using cheese or sardines or chicken? That usually gets their attention Harley rarely takes treats when we are out on walks, but loves her ball. We also play games in the woods such as hide and seek. I wait until she isn't paying attention, quickly hide behind a tree and call her. When she finds me I praise her lots then she watches me closely for the next 10 mins. As soon as she starts wandering, I do it again Have you tried using a ball or a frisbee? Harley loves her ball and loves carrying it around - only drops it for a throw maybe 5 times in an hour walk. I'm hope things will get better quickly
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent I thoroughly recommend The Happy Puppy Handbook by Pippa Mattinson, it will help with every issue you have and be a great comfort in the tough, early days of puppy owning. I think up to 6 months, puppies can be hell, but it soon passes and then you will look back with nostalgia and think 'what a dear little pup she was' ;D
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent I would definitely recommend Pippa's Total Recall book for the recall issues. Our dog was regimes with us when he was almost a year old and came with zero recall. Using that book, plus doing other things like scattering kibble while I walk, means that I can now take him for a walk and be reasonably sure he will either stay relatively close to me, or, when he gets too far away for my liking, I can recall him back with a whistle. I say "reasonably" as I'm at about 80% confident! well! maybe 90%, and I will still use a long line but I hope to be able to retire that by the end of this summer (I live in Canada and in the winter months it's very difficult to get out and train/walk outside, so it's taking me longer than I'd like). And to be honest I haven't got thought the entire book yet, either. Anyhow your recall troubles can be overcome, it just takes persistence and training!
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Welcome Lisa and Acacia! Hugs....having a new puppy is HARD WORK!!!!! All pups are different, and finding out what makes them tick and what motivates them is part of the fun and challenge both! It takes time, but the others have given you good suggestions. Also just remembering that a puppy's attention span is VERY short...so keep training sessions short but frequent...and change games and activities with them frequently. Try and find something she does frequently and spontaneously, and start encouraging that behavior on cue. for instance...if she comes up to you and sits to get your attention...praise her every time and tell her how smart she is...and train her to do it on cue. A clicker is a fabulous "behavior marker" , and a great training tool for early trainings especially. Make training a game...be fun and happy and upbeat...she will enjoy it, and so will you. Start with a sit...and a down...and hand touching is a very fun game for a young puppy. Pippa has a great video of her training the hand touch to a cocker. I still do hand touch games with my Bella...it's a great way to get her to focus...and can be a foundation to other skills of course. Let us know how you both get on...and if you have a challenge, let us know and maybe we can give you some suggestions to help you through it!
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi Lisa and everybody, I am a total newbie, but there's something I thought I should share. You mentioned Acacia (beautiful name!) insists on eating stones and sticks instead of playing with her toys. Once I read an article that said that constant attempts to eat stones and sticks may be due to the lack of some vitamins or nutrients that the dog is instinctively trying to compensate. Have you thought about that?
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi from me and Molly (17 months old). I also felt overwhelmed and wondered if I'd done the right thing when I first got Molly. Like you I'd had a Lab who'd lived to a ripe old age and then I'd had a year without a dog, so puppyhood came as a real shock after so many peaceful years with a very placid boy. Your puppy problems will pass, but I do agree with others who have posted suggestions for reading training ideas, as things will improve more quickly if you can engage Acacia in activities. You say that she isn't interested in toys, but I'd like to suggest that you need to make them really exciting by bringing them out and playing tug or chasing games. When Molly was little I swung the garden broom around in low circles and she loved to chase and pounce on it. (This did have the drawback that she then tried to do it when ever I wanted to sweep up! However I have at long last taught her only to pounce when I say 'play' - and of course you could introduce this rule much earlier than I had the sense to do!) I think all puppies love to chase, so if not a broom then perhaps a soft toy on a rope. Have a look at the training log section on here - Snowbunny, for example, has achieved some wonderful things with her pups and her log would be a good model to follow.
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Welcome! Kenzi isn't massively interested in toys, she will play with them occasionally but not regularly and never for a long time. She was also rarely interested in chews and Kongs never interested her until she was >4-5months. When she was a younger puppy she was mainly interested in toys that weren't toys, like empty water bottles, cardboard boxes and her best toy that my Dad unfortunately introduced her too is a brush/broom that she will essentially play tug of war with outside. Making use of the bottles (i.e. letting her chase them), cardboard (hiding treats in) did work a little to tire her but so did little training sessions and walks, I think for the first 3-4months I felt like I was constantly trying to keep her entertained/tire her out. I did order a car ramp for her once and it came in a massive cardboard box, which I still have and is filled with brown paper from inside other packages....I make her sit and throw little treats in so she has to hunt them out with her nose....she loves that and now have expanded it to having her sit in the kitchen and wait whilst I close the door and hide treats in the living room she has to sniff out once released. Just takes some time to figure out what interests your dog so you can take advantage of it
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Aw, thank you Joy, that's a lovely compliment! I agree with making the toys exciting, too. My pups chew things, obviously, but they're not really excited by toys unless I make them exciting - throwing them around for them to chase, whipping them from side to side before I do that gets them really hyper! I've bought a lunge whip (!) which I'm going to tie a toy to, so I can drag it around, make it "dance" and have the pups chase etc to increase their arousal. One "toy" they love to play with by themselves is a used water bottle (tough plastic variety), with the lid removed so they can't choke on it. It makes a hell of a noise, though, so not one for quiet time! Other people are a bit nervous about giving their dogs plastic bottles, though, because it can lead to the dog picking up any discarded bottles when on walks. I'm lucky that we don't have that kind of litter here, so it's not something that bothers me.
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hello, and welcome. Well done you for admitting what we all go through - that it's not always an easy ride with a new bundle of joy to cope with. Every time we get a puppy I think there's a low point that I just know we've done the wrong thing here! But I also know I'd never be without them! There'll be loads of practical help from others on the forum, that have been through the same thing! Looking forward to seeing how she progresses. Gorgeous name by the way too! x
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Thank you everyone for all the advice!!! We have tried some of the various things mentioned but I'll be looking into everything else in the coming days and I'll look into the books and training logs also. I'm on the west coast of BC, Canada and we've been fortunate to have pretty good weather (though we actually wanted some snow to play in!) and it's actually spring-like right now so thankfully we've been able to get outside every day. Acacia has even been (very) briefly swimming already. The first time was by accident as she followed our friend's dog, her new buddy (a 4-year old Golden Retriever), into their creek that ended up being nearly over her head but yesterday she plunged into one of their ponds totally on her own and loved it! LOL Tomorrow we try the beach/ocean with the same friends. Being a one-dog household, I'm really grateful for this friend in particular, as her big boy is showing our little one the ropes on various things when they have play dates. Let's hope he doesn't tire of her puppiness! Water bottles were mentioned and we've had some good interest in those. Another friend with 2 labs of her own told us to put them inside large socks and that's worked nicely. We still have to make sure the shards don't get out but that's like supervising any toy really. Hands down her favorite chew toy right now is the water buffalo horn so yay for a win there! LOL Sarralucia - I actually did wonder the same thing about the nutrients but I can't imagine what she's missing as her food is very nutrient packed, still I do wonder and will be trying to figure that out. Good luck with your new little one too! Again, thank you all!
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Sorry I'm so slow saying hi.....you've had lots of lovely support and some very good advice so I'm just going to say.......I've just got in from a lovely lead walk around the perimeter of our estate with my 2.5 year old yellow boy........a sentence I never thought I'd write ;D ;D ;D Dexter is our first dog and the 4 legged love of my life .....but I cannot tell you how many times he's brought me to tears getting to the point we are at now.The labrador site and my forum friends have helped so much,persevere,be consistent and committed and this full on time passes .......sadly too quickly,And you come out the other side together the best of friends.You don't need to pretend you are having a great time when you are finding it tough,it won't be forever and it's nice to have a place to come to where you can let off a bit of steam ,get some advice to help and a few stories and experiences from other members that make you realise you are NOT on your own Best wishes Angela x
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hello and welcome from me too! Been a bit infrequent lately, not been able to post. Lilly is my first dog. She will be 5 in May. Still a puppy.....work in progress jac
Re: Hello from a weary puppy parent Hi, just wanted to say welcome to the forum - and say that that things will soon be getting better. I found my pup stopped wanting to eat stones once her big teeth came in, at around 4-5 months old.
