Life became easier when......

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by Jen, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. Jen

    Jen Registered Users

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    A couple of months ago I got some very good advice from a behaviourist to help me with Scott and Scout's reactive behaviour. It wasn't really anything to do with their behaviour but everything to do with mine. I need to be calm, confident and fun. Stop preempting and worrying about what might happen deal with it when it does. You can't be calm, confident and fun if your worrying. It doesn't matter what the dog does its your response that matters.

    This might sound daft but in the last few weeks I've felt like something has changed, something is different. Finally the penny has dropped and it's dawned on me it's because I've stopped worrying about their behaviour and accepted this is how they are. All the advice has finally filtered through. They are my dogs and no they don't behave like people expect labradors to behave but that's ok I don't need to apologise for it or worry about trying to fix it. They are my dogs they don't need fixing they just need help learning to cope in situations they find scary/stressful/exciting. Not worrying makes it easier to be calm,confident and fun which makes it easier for my dogs. Of course there will be blips in both my behaviour training and there's but we will deal with them when they happen because we can. ☺️
     
  2. Karen

    Karen Registered Users

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    That's really great Jen, and I understand completely what you are talking about! Being calm and confident goes straight to the dog - and does the opposite when you are worried, nervous or upset. Good on you!!
     
  3. Dexter

    Dexter Moderator Forum Supporter

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    I agree with you too Jen xxx i
    Glad things are really feeling better for you guys ,hope you are all enjoying being out and about together x
     
  4. MaccieD

    MaccieD Guest

    That's so good to hear Jen, I'm sure being positive makes a big difference to our dogs behaviour. Enjoy your dogs :D:D
     
  5. Pilatelover

    Pilatelover Registered Users

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    Well done Jen, I'm now a bit of a worrier so I can completely understand where you are coming from. I was never a worrier if there was an aggressive dog barking at Mabel we would pass by no bother as soon as they were out of ear shoot I'd say in a up beat jokie voice nasty doggy so glad you're not like that come lets play as we skipped into the distance, my girl happily bouncing along beside me. Then she was diagnosed with ED and I changed over night now 6 weeks later I'm trying really hard, I can see the benefits again, as with you it definitely works. Enjoy your dogs. Xx
     
  6. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    That is very interesting...had a truly awful walk with Casper first thing, abysmal. Admittedly I was tired and not on form. Poor Casper was lunging, barking and completely over his threshold I was incredibly stressed and upset, all the wrong dogs appeared at the wrong time, meaning Casper getting a collie eye stalk stare..then a huge doberman..standing stiff.. so I struggled to get Casper even remotely calm. All the hard work seemed useless. Got home early from walk so met our dog walker who had arrived for Benson (we have 2 dog walkers now, one for on lead quiet walks with Casper and a separate dog walker for Benson)
    Anyhow, our lovely gentle dog walker came in..took one look at me and grabbed in a bear hug, I promptly burst into tears..and explained what happened. She is just an oasis of calm. So she has suggested that we both go out together one day with Casper when I am around, and you guessed it..he is not reactive with her! :) On her walk, she managed to slip into a shop and came back with dog, flowers and chocolates to cheer me up! :)
     
  7. drjs@5

    drjs@5 Registered Users

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    Aww Kate.....sorry you have had a bad day, but glad you have a treasure of a dog-walker!

    We notice that when we have super-excited Georgie, she soon adjusts to our relatively relaxed and low key, hyper-child-free house. First time she was picked up we got the jokey "you've broke our dog" comment.
    It make a HUGE difference how you behave.
    It transfers to not just animals but big and little people too.
    We should all take time to relax more but our lifestyles and stresses often just don't make us feel like we can.

    Good on you Jen. Keep it up!
    Hope you have a better few days Kate xx
     
  8. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    That's grand to read Jen , we relax more, they do too , we get stressed and so do they . Its about managing what we have , and learning to accept when things don't go to plan , good for you x
    Hope things improve for you too Kate x
     
  9. MaccieD

    MaccieD Guest

    Beanwood -just a bad day which we all have :rolleyes:. Deep breath and move on - you are doing wonders and Caspar is a happy, loved dog and it sounds as if you have a fantastic dog walker as well :D
     
  10. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    That sounds great, Jen! I hope you have having a great time with your lovely boys.

    Sorry to hear about your walk, Kate, but sounds like you've got someone to help, which is good. I hope things are better tomorrow.
     
  11. Naya

    Naya Registered Users

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    I'm so glad you are enjoying your walks again Jen

    Tomorrow is another day Kate. You are doing such a good job with Casper. Harley sends you big big licks
     
  12. Dexter

    Dexter Moderator Forum Supporter

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    Ah Kate your dog walker sounds lovely.....I've had many a tear in the past over Dexter pulling and lunging,it would just be a bad walk and the next one would be better,big hug x
     
  13. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    We've all had bad walks. I now often if its been a really good walk cut it short just so it all ends on a positive. Its hard we put ourselves under too much pressure. Sorry you had such a bad time kate
     

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