Hi All, Thanks for the previous advice. At the moment, I feel like I have no idea what to do. We have had Barney for 4 days, he gets so upset if he is left alone for a more than a second. I feel as though I cannot step outside for even a second without him howling and crying. I've just missed my daughter's sports day at school. I was literally going to be gone for 15 minutes to show my face but after putting him into his playpen with toys a kong with chicken etc etc etc it was a disaster. I sat with him for 5 minutes and he was happy playing. I stood up went through the door and he just started getting himself so worked up I couldn't go. He cried howled and barked for 15 minutes. I had to go back in as he getting so distressed he was shaking all over. I calmed him down gave him a couple of bits of chicken and he was fine. I walked out the door again and off he went again. He is now next to me in my study fast asleep after the trauma. Should I go back in or just leave him in that state ? I don't want to associate his playpen with a bad time. But on the other hand, I have to go out even for short periods. I read that you shouldn't go back to him if he is crying as it will just reinforce his feeling that barking brings attention. I am so confused and feel trapped. Please help
Hi I am a new puppy owner myself, we got Alfie 4.5 weeks ago now (he is just over 13 weeks now) and I completely understand the feeling trapped (I really struggled during the first week or so of having him). Alfie also used to cry the moment he lost site of me and my OH but when I was first trying to teach Alfie to be alone I would take him in the garden play with him for about half an hour, ensure he had emptied himself and then pop him in his crate, which is in the kitchen, with a Kong and do the washing up or something but continually pop out of the room and come back in. I started off by leaving for ten seconds then coming back and so on and so. I always tried to vary the time so it wasn't just longer each time. I would also leave him downstairs while I popped upstairs to sought the washing and things never coming back down until there was a break in the crying, just trying to build his confidence that I would always comeback. - I started doing this after we had, had Alfie about a week and I felt he was settled. At first he would whine at the bottom of the stairs or start to mew in the kitchen but now he is generally fine. Sometimes he will whine a little when I pop for a shower but he soon settles himself down. I now leave him everyday for an hour or so while I pop to the gym and sometimes for a little bit while I go upstairs just so he gets used to it. I have recorded him and he plays with his Kong and then goes in his crate for a snooze. I tend not to shut him in his crate anymore just the kitchen as he likes to play with his Kong by throwing it around and he cant do that in his crate. I also try to precede alone time with some form of activity or training so he's tired before I leave. I am sure more experienced owners will pop along soon with more advice but just so you know you weren't the only one who felt a little trapped at first.
Should also add that when I was popping back into the room I wasn't running over to Alfie I just got back on with whatever job I was doing in the kitchen.
I'm sat here typing while my 9 week old puppy makes such a noise and carry on in her pen! This is my mistake, I shouldn't have got into this situation....oh, she's stopped. I'll just go get her and write more later!
Thank you for the advice. Whilst he was asleep I popped out for 30 minutes. When I came back in he just woke up. I will try putting him into his playpen and then pop in and out. I feel so bombarded with all the information I have read and watched on youtube am paranoid I will build in bad behaviour for the future.....
My spaniel is very vocal and I had to literally close the door behind me and open it again to start with. I also agree with some of the comments above about being in the same room but getting on with other things. You can do it. Good luck!
I know how you feel!! When we first got Alfie i worried myself silly about doing the right thing and did far to much googling but eventually i had to have a stern word with myself and say 'calm down'. I still read a lot but i try not to do to many things at once.
Yes, anyway, now I have a quiet puppy.... It's just about trying to take tiny steps, make things as gradual as you can for them. Kongs help, I think, but not for a little while. Once they are truly addicted to kongs, and kongs are the best thing ever, then you can really make good use of them in a leaving routine. I adore the way my adult dog thinks 'she has her work shoes on! that's kong time!' and looks so eager for the good things - but it took ages to build up to this with him. If you look at the article on crate training, you can do exactly the same thing in a pen. It might help to actually do the crate training, even though you have him in a pen.
Maybe try leaving a radio on when you're out of the room? It's also good not to go to greet Barney as soon as you return, but 'potter' for a few minutes so that he doesn't expect immediate attention and associate your return with being let out of his playpen. As Julie says, it takes a while to build up a pattern, maybe weeks, maybe months. Now my two go to wait for me to prepare their Kongs when I turn the radio on before I go out, then head for their crates! They then stay snoozing until I let them out when I've put the shopping away!
Thank you for all the help. I tried putting him into his play pen I gave him a kong then made a cup of coffee, left for a minute, then went in and emptied the dishwasher etc etc. I then left him and went to do some work. 1 hour later I went to check on him and he had put himself to bed and was fast asleep. It seemed to work as I can leave him now without the howling. All seemed way too easy !!!! He is probably luring me into a false sense of security !! Im grateful that one step at a time we are getting used to each other !! He has decided that my treasured rhododendrons are the next best thing to chicken treats !!!
