Those puppy months are difficult for sure but really no different from wee small humans except the pups will grow up and become a darling companion much more quickly than those pesky 2 legged children! Edsel bit like mad, tore around like a loon, jumped and whirled like a devil, destroyed numerous plants in my gardens, ran off and ignored me multiple times daily, leapt at small children and jumped into and out of car windows! But I wouldn't trade him for all the tea! He has more than equaled all the misery with unconditional love, wags, kisses, silly antics that make me laugh til I cry and the sweetest face in the world. Looking back it really did go by quickly so try to hang in there if you can!
Hi, give yourself time and try to relax your mind, don't over think things and just take each day as it comes or even each hour. I felt shattered when we first had our puppy, I use to have a nap during the day. He was a bit of a crocopup but not as bad as some members are experiencing although at the time it was bad enough. He's one now and I absolutely couldn't be without him. Try some clicker games, you don't have to use a clicker you can choose a word as your marker and load it just the same. I like to mark with my voice as I can adjust to suit, unlike my clicker which is the same for everything. I use 'nice' I like it because said calmly it helps to lower arousal and said excitedly helps with bringing arousal levels up. Games are a lot of fun for both dogs and human, keep sessions short, add in plenty of rest and hopefully you'll find yourself less panic struck and will have a lovely bond with your puppy.
I was super anxious after we brought Molly home and every night I'd lay awake dreading the next day. Obviously it's hard to love something that's causing you so much stress and there were many times I considered sending her back, but we got there, she's 5 months and I love her to bits now. If I'd only given myself a week then I think she'd have gone xx
@Sarah C I'd waited two long years for Mabel. I can remember one day sitting on the kitchen floor crying I was exhausted and convinced not only did she not love me but hated me and I really didn't like her very much, and it was freezing cold and she needed yet another wee .I laugh now when I think of it, I come from a total animal oriantated family so I knew what I was letting myself in for but it still came as a shock. Now she's 19 months and we are best friends if I'm honest OH still finds she restricts his life I don't I think she restricts mine (if I plan properly) on the contrary she enhances my life, he can just play more golf . Keep posting on the forum and reading as much as possible, wishing you the very best of luck.
Hi @Sarah C please give yourself time. I always had a dog growing up and loved each and every one of them...however when I left home due to both myself and the OH working full time, demanding jobs I didn't have a dog. 4 months ago, after 2 years of dropping hints, emailing the OH links to puppy litters for sale, he finally said yes we will get a dog. Enter into our lives Bailey, now a 5 month old boy. I loved him from the minute I met him, but my OH didn't. When we brought him home I was worried that there would be no bond between them, but after a month one night I overheard the OH talking to Bailey after his zoomie session where he had bitten both of us. The conversation went along the lines of "I didn't want you, or any other dog, I only did it so your mum would be happy. However now I wouldn't be without you and I love you as much as your mum does". If my unemotional, robot OH can do it, honestly, anybody can - my boys are now inseparable and are a joy to watch. My OH never had a dog before Bailey either. Keep coming back to the forum, the support here is amazing and also read the sticky's at the start of the forum particularly the one about puppy problems. Good luck with Daisy, I am sure you will overcome your panic and bond with your fur-baby in time x
Hi @Sarah C hoping you're recovering from the panic attack and life is beginning to settle down with little Daisy. I remember when Juno had been home with us a few days wondering what the hell I had done by getting a long awaited young puppy - much of the feeling was due to tiredness (puppies are tiring), two cats who really weren't happy to have an interloper introduced to their home and the fact that my OH had gone back to the UK for work for a couple of weeks . The feeling lasted as long as it took my puppy to come running up to me and to sit for me . I think puppies, like babies/children, deserve unconditional love from their parents - we may not always like them, but we should always love them. Puppies are after all puppies and do what puppies do but their early experiences can, and often do, have an impact on the adult dog. If I didn't bond with/love my puppy within a few weeks I think I would be talking to the breeder about re-homing, life doesn't necessarily get easier as the pup gets older. Unfortunately expectations and life aren't always the same and I'm sure you are now well and truly bonded and madly in love and probably rather tired
It is totally normal to take time (sometimes a LOT of time) to bond with a new pet. Or a new human baby for that matter!! Many people do not feel an 'instant bond'. A relationship needs to be built up over time. Besides, new puppies (and babies) are tough and hard work and that's not conducive to falling in love. So, MaccieD, don't judge others who are brave enough to publicly admit to being normal.
Of course life gets easier as the pup gets older. They learn, you can communicate with them, they become emotionally and socially mature. How many fully mature (3-4 years) Labradors do you see doing puppy things? Not many. That's because they have grown up - and become easier.
I'm afraid I find that complete nonsense. Puppies are deserving of our care from day one. Their needs should be met - food, shelter, ability to be dogs, enrichment, company etc. Saying that we must love them is incredibly judgemental on those of us who have taken longer than the stipulated few weeks. Obi was far harder work than Riley and continues to be so, as a result it took far longer to bond with him even though he was seriously cute! I also far prefer both my dogs as adults with wonderful, individual personalities
I think it takes a while for the oxytocin sorry had a long day can't spell to kick in and sometimes a specific animal can set different emotions in us. It can be over Welming as we have so many expectations and they arnt always met.I don't really remember a time when I didn't care deeply for my dogs but I seem to have loved them all in different ways. I just had to learn to love them as individuals and manage my needs and expectations in a more realistic way . They are just dogs being doggies and me being a bad monkey. We have a great time but I have no Lassie illusions any more.
I took much longer than a few weeks to bond with Lilly. She is 6 now. She is still a relatively aloof dog, not a cuddly girl at all. Why SHOULD you have an instant bond? Its difficult enough with babies......your own flesh and blood and genetic material. Like any relationship, learning to love and bond with each other takes time. That instant "love" isn't true love, is it, it's infatuation, hormones, rose-tinted goggles, lust, name it whatever to fit the situation. A true bond only develops over time and shared experiences. Don't beat yourself up @Sarah C . Cut yourself some slack and enjoy the moments with your puppy that you can, the future will sort itself out.
