Hello. Please help. Ive wanted a lab for many years and got one from a breeder that is heavily into show dogs which i was attracted to the health clearances. After 8 days of caring for Harley 100% all day with him...and hand feeding and doing everything i can think of, he acts like a foster dog that was abused and does not like to be beside me and even looks away when held and lays down away from me. Do you have any suggestions for me? I do not think this pup will ever be loving. Please help.
Hi Ken and welcome. Some dogs - even Labradors - just aren't tactile. I have litter mates; one is the most cuddly goofball you've ever met, and the other really not cuddly in the slightest. I can sympathise with how you feel, because I didn't know if I was doing something wrong with my girl. But, I can tell you that, in time, you will bond. I love my girl intensely. In a very different way to how I love my boy, but so, so strongly. She trusts me implicitly and our bond is amazing. It might have taken a bit longer than with the boy, but it burns fiercely. You'll get there, too. I've heard it said before, and it really is true, that the puppy is cute but you fall in love with the dog.
8 days is not very long, it takes a little while to develop a strong bond with your pup - training and games really help strengthen the bond. I would say my bond with Quinn at a year old is much much much stronger than it was at 3, 4 months old. She was not a cuddly puppy in the least but now she wants to be with us much more - the bond will grow over time!
Snowbunny has it exactly. 8 days is nothing. The pup has a LOT of changes to get used to. In time you will have a wonderful companion who is totally bonded and loving. Enjoy getting there
Hi and welcome! Boy oh boy, can I sympathise. My first puppy seemed very uninterested in me the first few weeks. He was cute as can be, but I'd invested my whole being into the little guy, even taken a break from work so that it was all about him 24/7. I remember calling the breeder nearly in tears saying, "But he doesn't care about me! What am I doing wrong?!". I'm going to share with you what she told me: "You are with him 100% of the time. He hasn't had the chance to miss you. Of course he doesn't get all excited when he sees you. Do you get excited to see something that you see all the time? Does your sofa send you into fits of joy?" Well, I thought she was bit harsh...but she did kind of have a point, lol. Anyway, he turned into an exemplary cuddle bear and pretty much my puppy soulmate. It just took a bit of time. Oh, and my second dog as a tiny puppy would arch his little back and literally try to bite my face off when I tried to pick him up. Having learned that it takes time from my first dog, I gave him space. And more space. He was a good dog, he just didn't seem overly concerned with who fed him twice a day. Then we moved from doing regular puppy training to the intense training needed for him to pass his service dog exam and we just started to click. I went from feeling like he and I were in a very bad arranged marriage to feeling like this dog was my right arm and my heart all rolled into one. He was never a cuddler, by the way, which I did lament (as I'm sure he lamented the fact that I taught him a "cuddle" command and have him head kisses whenever I darn well felt like it), but our relationship was extraordinary in so many other ways that the cuddle factor became a much joked-over moot point. Finally I'd say - it's only been 8 days. Even if he was a formerly abused foster dog, it would take a good 10-20 days for him to realise where he's landed and get his spirit back. I had foster dogs that did a total 360 in personality between arrival and a couple weeks' stay. So hang in there with the little guy. I think he will surprise you.
I do feel for you! I was also hoping for a cuddly dog, but we didn't get one. Yet Snowie is so incredibly loving in other ways -- he loves to give kisses, and he loves to sit on the chair next to mine in the lounge and we chat away. I think he gets too hot to be cuddly because on the occasions when it has been much colder than usual, then he will come onto the sofa for a snuggle, but does move off when he gets too hot. it took me 10 months to bond with my dog. My fault, not his -- it took me that long to get used to the stranger in our house. I am lucky that he is just so loving now -- one would think that 10 months could do a lot of damage. But in all that time I went through the motions: we did a lot of training, lots of walks, lots of grooming, lots of playing, lots of everything; I just didn't feel the connection in my heart. I don't recall the exact moment it all changed, but today we have such a strong bond and the love is beautiful. He is 5 years old. There might be a chance that your pup was raised in an outside kennel with no human contact? I have heard that about some breeders where they have all the bitches in breeding pens and very little contact with humans. I'm not an expert, but I guess if this were the case then your pup has not been socialised around humans and needs time and lots of contact with you. Best of luck -- I am sure you will be able to overcome this hurdle.
It's early days. He will come around to love being with you and training/playing/walking. As others have said, some dogs are just not the cuddly, tactile type. Belle wasn't. OK she was a rescue, but after a couple of weeks she loved walking with us, and would greet us so sweetly, but she never enjoyed playing with us and she was never one for cuddles. She loved an ear scratch and a rump scratch. You will find out what works for you and your pup as you grow together.
As others have said - you might not have a cuddly dog. But more generally, what does he like? What treats and food does he like? Will he play with you? How does he like to play? Interaction is so much more than about cuddles (nice though they are). If you can find out what floats his boat, you can train him to like to cuddle.
I wonder how much attention and handling he was getting at the breeders.....just maybe he's finding all the attention a little overwhelming on top of the trauma of leaving Mum and siblings too. It's very early days, give him a few weeks and you'll both be fine.
I don't have a cuddly dog - was it me or just in her nature? no idea. Can't agree more with what the others have said. Nothing really to add. Just want to welcome you to the forum and say "Don't give up". jac
My boy would be the most cuddliest after he wakes up when he was that young. He would come over and lay down and curl up on my lap. And that was about it. Hand feeding him while he is in a down position has made him more apt to actually lay down and relax near me if not next to me. But I agree it takes time.
Stanleys 9 months now and it's only recently he's gotten more cuddly. Even then it's literally just resting his head on me. Before that he wasn't fussed - he's still not massive on being cuddles or stroked. But his tail wags when he sees me and he gives me lots of licks. You love them ridiculous amounts either way
Many dogs don't actually like cuddles, it is not natural for them. Mine like to lie at my feet in the evening, but we don't do cuddles. We might have done if OH would have let them on the sofa. You may find because you are anxious to bond, that you are going too much toward him and overwhelming him. Give him time and he will look to you as his protector.
Duggan at 8 month is still not "cuddly". He never was, but he follows us everywhere and doesn't ever want to be alone. In the early months he would find the coolest place to lie down and I thought he was gonna be the most stubborn defiant dog on the planet. He is now quite the opposite. After a few months and a box of treats your puppy won't want to leave your sight( except when he's digging in the garden lol). Just give him some space to grow and some time and you'll bond. It took me months to bond with Duggan after many many hours of training, boxes of treats and lots play. Now he checks with me for permission to do just about everything he wants to do. Be patient.
It will take time. My two are very different in character. Wispa (5) loves a fuss and tummy-rubs before she goes out in the garden or has her breakfast in the morning. In the evening she likes to sleep near where I'm sitting, but isn't cuddly. She even takes herself off to her crate for a snooze sometimes. Tuppence (3) doesn't want any stroking or tummy-rubs when she wakes up in the morning, she's just focused on breakfast! However, in the evening she's very cuddly and loves being nearby, preferably on the sofa with me. If I'm busy, she snuggles up on a cushion waiting for me. Give Harley a bit of time and space and he'll probably soon be looking for your company!
Its not long enough for him to bond with you it's only been 8 days, Am sure he is looking for is siblings and mom, Just give it sometime. It took almost 3 weeks for Remington to bond with us
Wow, thank you everyone for your nice responses. I appreciate all of them. I have some good news. I used a salmon treat to use Harley's nose to get him in a positive association to want to come and stay beside me. This allowed me to show a lot of affection. And it worked! Really well. He came and stayed beside me most of the evening. I hope this continues to work. It was so nice to see him relax.
Hi from me and my boy Bailey - nothing really to add to the excellent advice you have already had, just wanted to say hi
