The responses you have had on here are overwhelming! They are an outpouring of honest, raw emotion and I'm so moved by them. I also absolutely felt this way. Libby is 'my' puppy: everything to do with her is my responsibility. My partner would not have a dog at all so I am constantly on watch out to make sure things run smoothly in the hope that he will become attached to Libby and change his mind. I'm allowed her because she's my therapy- physically and emotionally. I've lost my freedom (not allowed to drive) and the job I adore (teaching secondary RS and Sociology) through illness so Libby is helping me get physically fitter and making me get up in the morning. I now love her but it's been a nightmare and lots of tears have been shed and lots of doubts about having her and whether I can do this alone. I'm so moved that so many others have been through the same thing with their puppies. Puppies are such hard work but puppyhood doesn't last forever. It doesn't last very long at all. It feels like it at the time but it's such a short time. For us, things have shifted so much in the last couple of months. I watch my OH stroke her head and throw balls etc; I watch him panic if he thinks she's in danger or ill and know we have done the right thing by persevering.
When I got Betsy, she was a very, very bitey puppy - and she made me and my older dog a bit miserable. It was quite tough dealing with it. I had the puppy blues...and do you know what? Looking back on it now, I want to give myself a big smack round the head and say 'toughen up'. You only have these few new weeks with your puppy once. You only have once chance at using those impressionable early days to good effect in building a bond with your puppy, and building good behaviours, that last a lifetime. So, yes, sure - come on the forum and rant, there will always be sympathetic ears and quite right too. But also, give yourself a slap round the face and remind yourself it's only a puppy, and get on with making the most of this time that is so very, very precious - and you'll never get back. Ever.
It is really fun to watch them grow up. Puppies change so fast that you can see them grow physically and mentally in a matter of days. Yes they are a lot of work but I would not want to miss it, and it doesn't last all that long. I think almost all pups need a crate and an indoor play pen, and most houses are going to need one or two baby (pet) gates, and a fenced yard. Cooper has finally gotten out of the chew up everything phase, and pretty much only chews on her toys, but it took quite a while and we lost a few items around the house. Both of our dogs have the run of the house now with pretty much no worries, except that Cooper still thinks fire wood is a dog chew toy.
They are precious. Even as I was extracting my nose from Luna's mouth the other day (which has left a really attractive scratch down the side), I was laughing at her little character. She's a monster, but she's entirely lovable
This!!! This is one of my biggest regrets! I spent so much time worrying about Stanley I forgot to enjoy him. I'd give anything to go back to those first weeks with that tiny little puppy who really doesn't want anything but to feel safe and be loved! Really do try to enjoy it because it will 100% get better but you won't get this time back.
and to eat your nose I think it's a lot easier the next time around. Even though Luna is much harder than Willow ever was, I know what I'm going to get at the other end, and that the annoying things (which is pretty much only toilet training and biting) don't last that long. So it's easier to keep a sense of humour
Seriously, I could have wrote this. I remember waking up (at 6am ) one morning and telling my boyfriend that we needed to find someone to take him... It makes me sad that I felt that way, but I was SO ready to be done with having a puppy. He is almost 5 months now, and it is getting better. Much better. He is decorated at night (still gets up early, although he did sleep until 830 the other morning!) and when I go to work during the day, we just block off our upstairs. He has free range of the rest of the house. He did chew up a remote one day but so far has been really good. I'm slowly starting to feel like we are getting our life back. We can go out to a movie or to dinner if we want, because we know he will be okay if we leave him with a Kong and some toys while we are gone. He is starting to settle at night, when we sit down at the end of the day to watch some TV, he will curl up in front of the fireplace and snooze. He knows he needs to be extra gentle with our four year old, and will lay quietly beside her while we read stories before bed, and give a bunch of kisses to say goodnight. As everyone else has said, it does get better. Someday, it won't feel like so much work and you'll be able to relax and enjoy that sweet baby a little more.
Bessie's my first new puppy in 7 years. Before that, I had two. I was 21 when I got Dana, and she was my boyfriend's as much as mine, and we spent tons of time just playing with her and enjoying her and walking her - she was our first baby, we split work shifts so she'd never be alone for too long. We taught her the names of all her toys, would hide her toys and have her find them, took her on long hikes and traveled around the country with her. Got Burke when my kids were deep in childhood, and a puppy was just added chaos - not a big deal. And he never chewed (yes, I have his mother's papers, he is 50% field lab, British not US standards). And then, in August, I got Bessie at 8 weeks old. I'm a single parent to two teens, one of whom has autism and several major medical conditions, and the other who went off to college 3 weeks after Bessie's arrival, but who is very helpful with her when she's visiting. But since September, it's been just me, 24/7 caring for the two dogs and my son (who requires bathing, dressing, feeding, etc). Honestly, I've thought I was going to lose my mind. I have truly been where you are, just a few short months ago. I cried. I seriously considered giving her back about 100 times the first two weeks (the shelter had a 2-week trial period). She wasn't house trained completely until a couple weeks ago. Well, she has had 2 pee accidents since then. Thought I'd lose my mind. Only one of the three that POOPED in the house multiple times! She'd pee, then ring the bell by the door to go out. "I got it right, didn't I?" Very proud of herself. Sigh. I'm still feeling a bit unsettled and exhausted, but she's 7 months old now and things are MUCH better. She's really mostly a joy now, even though we still have a ton of stuff to work on. (Especially jumping up on people when they come to visit or, oh, walk down the street near her.) I understand the feeling of never being able to be "off" because I am 24/7 with this girl and my older guy, who has his own issues (neurotic, overly territorial, barker and reactive to other dogs on-leash in town or in the car, chaotically overstimulated when people arrive - this has all improved with the puppy because he's getting more mental stimulation, which is great, but it's still a lot of management and ongoing training). One of the reasons I nearly went nuts was similar behavior to what you're dealing with, with the crying. I posted here about her separation anxiety, which became apparent very early on. My advice is to nip it now and keep at it. We're still working on it. I did abandon the crate last month (never used it at night, my bedroom is too small to have one, so she sleeps with me and my other dog on my king-sized bed, and for a while I used a baby gate to ensure she couldn't get out to pee in the other rooms - she never peed in the bedroom). Because she mostly doesn't chew inappropriately (I do have to put away any sheepskin, but who can blame her?) and I just couldn't get her to work up quiet, settled time in it consistently. Instead, I followed this approach, and I used the baby-gated puppy-proofed bedroom or the ex-pen as a big "crate" for containment when needed. (I couldn't use the ex-pen if I wasn't supervising, bc she would throw herself on it and it seemed dangerous.) https://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/...Ds5zcwelLS_BGPCAr9LwhiAZiqdiLpQ&_hsmi=9425486 In fact I wish I'd found that article earlier. Posting here helped a lot, and I got great advice. I found I needed to work on general barrier frustration with her, not just separation anxiety. This was key: Your pup gets frustrated and anxious when she can't get to you on her own terms. Right now it's just the crate but down the road you'd probably find the same results if you separate her from you by putting her in another room, on the other side of a babygate or just tethering her by leash on the other side of your backyard. That is Bessie. I leave the dogs in the house and walk to get the mail (and I do, every day), and she howls and throws herself at the door trying to get out after me. She tries to climb out of the car when we're out and about if she's had enough separation. She used to howl in the car the first few weeks! She'd jump and bounce at the end of a tie-out if I was working several feet away outside. So consistently, I have had to reward her with treats for being quiet and settled in general, and for settling separately from me while I did something else. The crate, yes, but also behind the baby gate, tethered to a tree outside, waiting in the house for me while I go outside, waiting upstairs while I work alone in the basement. Working up ever so slowly in duration. Avoiding letting her "howl it out" as much as possible (which was really key - she was so incredibly anxious when she had to be crated, just frantic, it was worsening the whole problem). I leave her for three minutes in the house at a friend's and run to the car while they distract her and treat her for calm. See if you can recruit friends to help with things like this. (Then you can also enjoy cooing over the puppy together!) I believe this is especially important since I live alone and work at home - it's just me and the dogs 90% of the time so she needs to experience separation from me often and early. The loss of freedom is huge, especially if you don't have kids. Sorry. No way around that. I still had panic attacks for a month or two just thinking about how I'd committed to, hopefully, fifteen years of caring for this being. That's almost as long as a childhood! Find a good housesitter or boarder and take him there early and often, too! I think that is important. Actually some other advice is to give yourself a doggy daycare or boarding break occasionally if you can, in these early months. A day or two of freedom will renew and recharge you, and your pup will gain those separation skills and get tired out playing with other dogs (and get great socialization).
I'd had a few pups by the time I got Rory so the culture shock wasn't too bad even after 10 years. The thing that I wasn't prepared for was the huge feelings that this new pup engendered. He woke me up. He was so cuddly I'd never had a tactile cuddly one before it changed everything. I not a cuddly feely person but he taught me to be. I had to be careful in training him so gentle with him. I had to be careful with the others but this one was different and had to be his protector
Sorry for writing a book! But I have more. Ha. I didn't bond with her right away either. I was pretty sure I got the wrong dog for a few weeks and that I would never love her. Nope, not true. Love her to death! It took a couple months for us to fully bond.
For those who love the puppy phase and look back at it with nostalgia and pleasure - I think it's an each to their own kind of deal. Personally, I'm not a fan of puppies. I buy puppies simply because I can train and mould their personality and behaviours into an enjoyable companion - but the sooner they grow out of the puppy stage and into adolescence and adulthood (where they're huge and you can really squish and hug them), the better (for me).
Kind of agree with you Chococheer - our puppy is 7 months now and while the couple of weeks around her desexing was a nightmare we are back to where I can now start taking both the puppy and our older dog out together on walks as she handles the longer distance (our old dog also had to be given her own walk so its been a few years since I could walk two dogs at once - opens up where we can go as we build up in distance). And while if its quiet you still have to check her most of the time she's sleeping under a table etc (except tonight when she presented me with a thread which turned out to be part of the hole in the hessian cover of one of the foam dog mattress around the house). And its getting easier to read her 'tired puppy behaviour and if restricted to a room she will tend to sleep. However now with the adult back teeth she's more destructive when she really gets chewing on toys...... But for young puppies my advice would be take lots and lots of photos - every week they get bigger. I took plenty but still wish Id taken more and still have to try and take more whle she's still 3/4 size.
I love this forum. I recently have been going thru the puppy blues also. Feeling like nothing is going to change...Tried to relay my feelings on fb lab forum and everyone was so judgmental in saying I should've done my homework. Labs are hard work and not for the lazy...Made me feel twice as bad. Actually I have had two labs, a black who lived to be 12 and a yellow who lived to be 14. Loved them to death. Our most recent is a chocolate and so opposite of the other two. So much more stubborn. We got her at 8 weeks and she is now 14 weeks. Although things have gotten better, there is still the biting and the craziness when we have company, and I have definitely wondered what I have gotten myself into sometimes... I agree with the posters who say no sleep makes it worse. Definitely does. We love her though and I see her changing little by little. My favorite part is when she wares herself out and I can cuddle her without getting bit. Thank you everyone for not being judgemental. Such a nice change.
I think I'm going to be the same. With my previous dog, I bonded with her when she was grown up much better than as a puppy. I feel I don't get much back when they're puppies which is to be expected. They really do become your best friend when they're a bit older and understand the companionship better.
I think the people who say you should of done your homework are mean. I done all the research in the world. Nothing prepares you for the emotional overwhelming feelings...This forum is so patient and kind and supportive Im so glad i found it x
Well, at 6 months, my dog has taken to being destructive... He dug a hole through our living room rug, tore up the corners of the carpet in two different places, ate a pair of nice work shoes, multiple slippers...but guess what, all my fault for either leaving those things out, or not taking him out for a walk early enough, which invariably leads his puppy energy towards the PATH OF DESTRUCTION You'd think I'd learn my lesson after the first time, but no...I'm stubborn like that
For sure. It's one thing to read about something, it's an entirely different thing to experience it yourself!
