I am feeling a little left out at the moment. Harley has, over the last week or so, developed gaga eyes for her dad. She wants to only take him things, she says hello to me and comes to me for a cuddle and love but if she hears his voice she if off to him, and she wiggles and makes little noises for him. If she can't find him she whimpers and looks for him. I am sure this will change but it isn't nice. He is the fun parent, but he always has been and I mostly do training, which she loves, so we have our own stuff. We both feed her and play with her, just differently.
I feel for you . Equating it to parenting young children , Mum is usually the one who sets rules , who tries to teach right from wrong , and then Dad comes home and suddenly he is the best thing since sliced bread ! You put it well yourself, he is the fun parent ! Some dogs give of themselves freely to both owners , whilst others naturally gravitate to one , I know its hard but try not to get upset or take it personally , she loves you , that's obvious , the balance will return I`m sure x If I`m out with Sam , and he spots my husband , he simply ignores him , and even if my husband calls him, he stays with me , and yet he adores my husband x
Thanks Kate. I know she loves me, she is a love monster and I was very happy when I was the chosen person that she carried everything too, so I can't be upset that it has changed to my husband She is maturing hormonally and physically and I wonder if the rough play is more satisfying for her now that she is bigger and stronger. I am sure I will gain more "air-time" again soon. Harls is booked for her spaying on the 26th April so I will at home, caring for her.
Nursing Harley will definitely form a big bond . Our little Millie who we lost almost a year ago , had to be spayed six months after we rehomed her . She was always a Daddys girl, but because I tended to her after her spay , she began to bond with me , becoming very soft and gentle , so it should help a lot that you will be on nurse duties , bless her x
Hattie is my dog through and through, she loves everyone in our family but she is always by my side because we are besties and she means the world to me xx Charlie loves everyone but he likes the person who takes him for a walk the most . He loves me because I do training and fun things with him also I give him lovely food and treats. He loves everyone who will invite him up for a cuddle. So we all get a bit of Charlie love xx
Duggan will sell out to the highest bidder in the moment but will always settle by feet if nothing is happenening. My OH is usually more busy with the baby so I win by default. But even though he sleeps on my side of the room and lays by my feet, and this is hard to say, he's still her dog. She's been with him every day since we got him. I've done all the training and usually do most of the playing, feeding ect. but he's still hers. He still whines for a moment after she leaves the house. He won't do that for me.
I train Coco, I walk Coco. Coco works well for me. OH mucks about with Coco. Coco goes to him and lays down on the floor with him. Coco doesn't work nearly as well for him. I know Coco loves me, it's just that I don't roll around on the floor with him. Coco loves us both for different things.
Susan Garrett has an article on exactly this - I can't find it right now, but I'll try again later. She describes the exact scenario of the dog paying more attention to the partner that doesn't do the training. But she rejects the theory it's because one person is 'the rule setter'. After all, if you are training positively being consistent is not going to encourage your dog to go play with someone else (unless you are making rule setting unpleasant which is unlikely for most people on the forum). She argues that it's about transferring the value of your reinforcers to you. So while you might be playing games with your dog and providing lots of reinforcement you are failing to transfer the value of those to you (which you need to be able to do rather than leave the value in the toy etc). I'm afraid I haven't done a good job of explaining that, I'll try find the article.....
I would definitely be very interested in that article. As much as my dogs are very much my dogs (albeit they love my H), I think I could do a lot more "transferring the value of the reinforcers to me". Interesting thought, never crossed my mind.
Is this the article? http://susangarrettdogagility.com/2012/03/building-effective-triggers-into-your-dog-training/
It's a longer version of that - and starts with a scenario about the dog preferring someone else at home and how her old style obedience trainer said (along the lines of) 'we have to give them a hard time enforcing rules in training we need to relax them at home' which SG thinks is nuts - both the hard time about rules, and not training for good behaviour all the time. I've found the longer article, but it's a paid for article accessed via the 'Say Yes' site (I bought the Susan Garrett recallers package) and there is a big warning on it not to share it. Anyway, the basic theme is in the article @heidrun posts, although the recallers package goes into it in more (quite helpful) detail.
