Bizarre clingy behaviour

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by Mooz, May 17, 2017.

  1. Mooz

    Mooz Registered Users

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    Hi,

    I've tried asking about this elsewhere online, but no one seems to be able to help, so I thought it might come and try somewhere breed specific, as I'm sure you all know the breed inside out!

    So, our dog is displaying a clinginess towards me, which seems very random. Of all our family, I am the least doggy person! I conceded to getting a dog due to the rest of my family's overwhelming desire to have a dog as our pet. The kids shower him with affection, and are good at helping with exercise requirements. I do my bit, but keep things fairly practical. It's just how I am, and I have never been that comfortable around dogs. I don't mean that in a negative way, it's just how some people are. I do, however (since getting to know ours) hold him with much affection, and particularly enjoy long walks with him, but do not demonstrate my affection in an ott way i.e. cuddling and petting and general excitement.

    The dog, however, has different ideas! He ALWAYS makes a beeline for me. Around the house, he is quite often following me and no one else. Occasionally he will spontaneously rub his head on my leg, a bit like a cat might do. And when I am relaxing, reading or watching the TV, he will come and present himself by putting his head in my lap, or I feel I am appropriately accessible, to try to place his body on me to sleep, or even try his best to get me to pet and play with him by nudging and rubbing. I just don't understand why I appear to be the main subject of his affection, and I wondered whether anyone migh be able to explain this? My family are a bit jealous really, and I am a bit bamboozled!

    Any questions, please do ask! I'd love to hear your thoughts.
     
  2. Karen

    Karen Registered Users

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    Hello and welcome to the forum!!

    This is not bizarre clingy behavior, this is typical Labrador behavior; a dog who is trying to show you he loves you and enjoys your company! You lucky thing, he clearly adores you. :) Maybe he actually enjoys the fact that you are not so physically affectionate with him as the children - many dogs don't enjoy being hugged. He obviously likes the fact that you take him for long walks, and sees you as his companion. Are you also the person who feeds him? A way to a Lab's heart is often through his stomach... ;)

    We'd love to see some photos of him; what's his name? How old is he?
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2017
  3. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    Aww this was rather sweet to read :) Enjoy your relationship with him, it sounds very special indeed :)
     
  4. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    Ps - sounds like you're his doggy soulmate ;)
     
  5. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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    I'missed with @Karen . It sounds to me that you have a dog who simply adores you :) and enjoys your companionship. Relax and enjoy being your dog's No. 1 person :):)
     
  6. Mooz

    Mooz Registered Users

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    Many thanks for your replies.

    It's quite humbling to think he is just being affectionate. I guess the reason I think it's bizarre is because my interaction with him is more aloof than that of the rest of my family. But, as Karen points out, perhaps he's not all that into being hugged! He seems to go along with it when the children are all over him. He is very gentle with them, but also likes the rough play that my OH sometimes engages in with him

    But, do you think that I am being a bit mean? That is my concern. When he displays this sort of behaviour I tend to just give him a little scratch or pat. Might he be craving more attention from me? I said before, he is really my first dog companion and certainly the first that I've felt comfortable with. But I would hate to think that I am in someway depriving him! The kids always want to see what happens if I shower him with praise and affection! (I think they think I am a an ice queen when it comes to poor Henry!) Maybe I should try it and see how he reacts...

    By the way, he is 2. He has always displayed this 'preference' if it's the right word! We got him when he was just under a year old. The breeder decided to keep a puppy for a little longer. I do pop in and out throughout the day, so that would explain why he thinks I'm perhaps a more constant force throughout the day. I just never indulge him with the affection that the rest of my family do.

    You must think I sound terribly silly, but it's just good to have some advice!
     
  7. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Id carry on as you are maybe he likes your calm approach. He obviously adores you and the way you treat him.
     
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  8. Harley Quinn

    Harley Quinn Registered Users

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    A really big thing for me to understand with Harley is that she is just as capable of showing affection as she is in receiving it. And it seems to be a very natural and good thing for her. She really seems to like it. And I think that is the magic thing for me about her, she is so comforting and loving. So @Mooz, lean into the labrador love:) - it is unconditional. You don't need to meet a set of criteria for him to think you are just the bee's knees. Clearly you just do it for him.
     
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  9. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    I don't think you sound silly :) I would just be natural with him, do what feels comfy for you. If you feel like giving him more of a cuddle from time to time, then by all means go ahead, but don't do anything because you feel you should or that you have to. He's clearly getting loads of affection from everyone in the family so he's certainly not being starved for attention regardless of whether you carry on as you are, or decide to be a bit more affectionate :)
     
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  10. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    I think displays of affection are just the very best thing x Sam never has been a demonstrative dog where fuss is concerned, but every so often , he will clamber up onto the sofa next to me , place one big leg on me, swiftly followed by his head on my lap , that`ll do for me , bliss x
     
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  11. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    Welcome to the forum from me, Hattie 9 years and our rescue boy Charlie 6 years. I am very lucky that my dogs love affection and seek it out a LOT which is heaven for us :) Not all dogs or humans are overly affectionate so just do what makes you both comfortable as Henry is getting everything he needs from you all as a family. Henry sounds like a lovely boy :) xx
     
  12. drjs@5

    drjs@5 Registered Users

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    This is so sweet. I think you are lucky. Don't change if you don't want, sounds like there is no need.

    Love this, HQ.
     
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  13. Mooz

    Mooz Registered Users

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    Thank you for your comments and understanding. I would find it hard to completely change in this way because I am not by my very nature terribly 'fussy' when it comes to dogs. I must say that your reaction has made me feel rather touched. I still don't quite see why dear Henry would choose to be so close to me of everyone in our household.

    I did give him an extra bit of attention yesterday evening when lounging in front of the telly, because what you have all said, and your positive reaction made me rather more fond of him! I usually just acknowledge him with a quick scratch, and allow him to rest against me without a big fuss. But yesterday I gave him a bit of a cuddle, as well as an extended tickle under his chin, which I know he likes! He did get a bit over-excited and 'attacked' my hand with his sandpaper tongue and then extend this rather enthusiastic slobbery display to my neck and then face (not something I've allowed before, or particularly want to encourage [am I a killjoy?!], but it evidently made him happy!!) So I think that extra attention like this will be reserved only for very special occasions!! It's funny, though, I think he is very perceptive, as he the went back to behaving more placidly when I stopped the more tactile interaction. Bless him. Thank you again for your kindness and advice.
     
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  14. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    hmmm Ice Queen? Noooo..you two are just are made for each other...:inlove:

    The biggest difference is that humans are primates..full of touchy feely stuff..well mostly..and dogs just aren't. That's not to say they are not affectionate, just show it in different ways, and we love them for it.
     
  15. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    They love your company and accept you for who you are.

    I'm not a big dog fusser either, they get a stroke and a little scratch under the chin and that's about it. But they love to be near me and I've usually got one dog or other on my foot. Mr Boogs is chief belly rubber.


    :)
     
  16. Ski-Patroller

    Ski-Patroller Cooper, Terminally Cute

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    Cooper must be a primate then. She is as touchy feely as she could be. Tilly not so much.
     
  17. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    My oldest labs, one liked to be stroked one didn't. Rory has done something strange to me he's the most tactile creature every. I not touchy feely at all, in fact I don't like to be touched I avoid it and the joke among my friends and family is if you hug ginger she may punch you. I find it very difficult and even find other people touching and hugging uncomfortable . Rory has changed that his persitant affection and wanting to be close has some how worn down my resistance. I'm much more relaxed its still hard but hes made things better.hes just so cuddly. All the dogs have bought different things but i never expected one to help me to feel relaxed around people.
     
  18. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    Hehehe! Bramble didn't read that book either. She likes to sit on your lap facing you...one paw round each side of your neck, staring deeply into your eyes...you dare not move....well you can't really!:D:D
     
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