Hi all, To be honest, this is more to do with humans than dogs! One of our children is having a guest over this weekend. The little boy is scared of dogs-it sounds like a phobia. I have assured his parents that I will keep our dog away from him. We don't let the dog in certain parts of the house, so it's pretty easy, except that we will have to be more careful than usual about keeping doors shut. However, the boy is still very apprehensive. His parents say that he has had experience of people saying 'my dog is really friendly and won't bite' and just ignoring his anxiety and not keeping the dog away from him, which makes him very scared. I am totally sympathetic, as I don't think this is a very helpful thing to say. But also, as someone who has never been that comfortable around dogs, I sort of want him to see that actually, if he ignores our dog, and indeed, other dogs, they can be in the same room without bothering each other. I say this out of wanting to help the boy. Our dog is easy going around children and goes along with anything! Inevitably, he is quite interested in new people, but has been trained not to jump, and if he is ignored (by visitors, in any case!) he very quickly loses interest. He is a bit different with family members. Do you think that this is worth mentioning to the parents, or should I just go with my first plan of just keeping them apart and leave it at that? I just feel as though I want to help.
I'd keep them separate in a low key no fuss way, certainly for the child's first visit. The child will be feeling very brave by just visiting knowing that the dog will be about if not in the same room. As the child becomes more comfortable maybe even on subsequent visits he could watch from a distance you or your child feed the dog, take the dog for a short walk or play a few controlled games. But I'd let him get involved on his terms when he's ready and his interest or intrigue begin to take over his fear. It sounds like he has a good friendship with your child and trusts him. Little steps, he's just taken a big leap.
Definitely agree with Jes. Keep the doggie away from him and make sure any interaction (even watching the dog) is initiated or consented to by him. The boy will have made progress just by staying overnight in a house with a dog, even if they never see each other. Very kind of you to help in this way. It'll need a fair bit of careful management. Hope it all goes well
Thank you both for your advice. It went well an you were definitely right to keep them both separate on this first occasion. The boy was very anxious to begin with that we would forget to close doors etc., but then he became more relaxed when he could see that we were vigilant. You are right, Jes, he did begin to seem intrigued and was asking lots of questions about walking the dog. I did suggest that next time, maybe he could come on a walk, with our dog on lead. He didn't completely discount the idea!
Glad it went well. If he comes over again it might be worth putting your dog on a lead and let him watch the children play in the garden
Hello, Apologies for resurrecting this thread. This chap is coming over again this weekend. His parents say that he is much happier about coming over this time around, because he knows that we will not force him to be in a room with our dog. I am happy to keep things this way. However, as I mentioned last time, the boy did express a little interest in perhaps going for a walk with the dog. Any tips? Obviously I will keep the dog on the lead the whole time. I asked his parents if they would be happy for us to drivers, and they said that if he is interested then we should run with it! Is a walk the best place to start? Just around the neighbourhood. I suppose that gradual exposure is the key.
Success! Not sure I know your answer, but as long as there is plenty of space between your dog and the visitor it should go ok. Be aware of pinch point - doors, gates etc.
Great! What I'd do is plan to take her for a short walk at your normal time. Announce that you're going for a walk, and then get yourself and your doggie ready and let the boy see you doing it. He may or may not ask to join. Unless he's showing interest don't ask him if he wants to go. Just go for the walk. If he shows interest or asks to join in, great, he can come. If he doesn't ask, that's fine - the idea of going will now be in his head and he will be testing out the idea. Next time you can ask directly if he wants to come along, but ask right before you go (not too far in advance otherwise he will be stressed about having to 'make a decision'....if you let him decide quietly in his own time it will be better).
Thanks guys, this is great advice. I will gage a reaction tomorrow and take things from there. I'll keep you posted! I'm just glad I didn't have this chap with me on our walk this evening (see my other ranting thread!)
