Hi, This the first post by a first time puppy owner... We have a now 11 week old black retriever who I think is a very well adjusted young man. He was toilet trained from day one with us, with very few accidents. He sleeps solidly through the night from 22:00 - 06:00(ish). He's responded well to some treat training and now more or less will sit on command and acknowledges his name more often than not. All in all, from having read other people's account of a new member to the family, I think we've got it pretty good... But, I personally am struggling to cope with the upheaval and responsibilities. Please don't think ill of me but I don't know why I feel so stressed out by him, especially as he does very little wrong (at the moment). My partner and I discussed getting a dog for over a year, so we haven't rushed into this decision. We take it in turns to work from home during the week so he's never left on his own during the day. I'm rambling now so I'll get to my question. Is it possible to give a puppy too much attention? At the moment, his day is typically: Wake and outside for business and then back in for breakfast (bowl of kibble and a kong). Play time and training for 30 mins followed by another 30 mins of him being allowed to roam the conservatory playing with his toys, but this is supervised. Once he starts to lie down and close his eyes, he's returned to his pen to sleep for about two hours and this is repeated about five times before bedtime in the evening. Is an hour of supervision every three hours too much? Not enough? My chief concern right now is that he's not able/willing to entertain himself even for a few m utes without barking because he can't see one of his humans. I'm worried that by always being in his sight line when he's awake, he'll expect that into adulthood? Or is that correct? Should always have a human to hand when up and about? As I said above, I'm trying to do what is right, but I'm constantly second guessing myself on a lot of decisions and that is, I guess, what is really stressing me out. You all seem like such a lovely bunch on here, I'm hoping I can find a friendly shoulder to fret on!
Welcome to the forum You are really trying to do your best for your puppy, which is wonderful. But I agree with what your instincts are telling you - it would be good to start a process of getting your puppy used to having humans out of his sight, building up to being left alone (eg in a pen or safe room of crate) for a couple of hours. There will be times when he just has to be left alone during the day. And times when the humans will all want/need to go out somewhere without the dog. And times when he needs to stay overnight at the vet's. Getting him used to that kind of situation gradually is a kindness, so he can cope with it easily when it happens
Hello and a warm welcome to the forum. It feels like only yesterday that my puppy was at this stage; she's now 8 months. New puppies are exhausting, yes! They need a lot of attention and supervision while they're awake. I don't think you can give them too much attention at this age, but you'd also do good to get him used to being alone for very short periods at first, leading up to longer times. My puppy got mostly frustrated when she was alone, but she knew I was elsewhere in the house. If I left the house, she settled no problem. You very quickly learn the different types of noises your puppy makes; what is real distress and what is just shouting for attention. Those frustration/attention ones can be ignored, but should act as a reminder that you maybe tried progressing a bit too quickly. You want your puppy to learn that being alone is OK, and you will come back, so start with a couple of seconds and progress slowly to minutes at a time. Try to mix it up, so it's not always getting harder and harder. Wandering around the house and doing chores can be a good way of doing this, so you're in and out of the room all the time. Making sure you only come back into the room when the puppy is quiet. Don't make a big drama out of coming back in; you want to make it as mundane and everyday an experience as possible. Just, walking in and out, tidying up, etc, "this is what I do".
Welcome! It sounds like a pretty perfect puppy routine to me. Both of mine that I raised from babies may have suffered from the "too much attention syndrome" but they also didn't have separation anxiety and were perfectly happy hanging out on their own for short periods as adults. In fact, my first one would seriously give me a look that said, "Um, I love you and all, but could you leave me alone for some quality nap time already?" I agree with @Oberon and @snowbunny that building up time, making it no big deal to be left for five minutes and then a little more over time, is the most natural, stress-free way to do it. You'll feel better, too, because you'll know he can be left for short periods without distress, which means you can also have a "distress-free" puppy break when you need it.
Nobody will do that as we are all seeking help/offering advice/sharing experiences - this is the most supportive group of people I have ever known. I too have struggled with the upheaval and responsibilities of getting a young puppy and I am in my late sixties, had an extremely responsible career until retirement and already have a 10 year old Labrador who we got as a 5 month old puppy. I have written a lot about what as happened to me (the thread Puppy Blues) with my now 7 month old puppy Red who we got at 8 weeks. It is very long, so I am not suggesting you read it. Just to let you know that I understand what you are feeling. It sounds like you have a good routine going and I think if you can give them a lot of attention then why not? Red is rarely on her own as one of us is usually home or mostly both of us. She loves company but she does spend time alone knowing we are somewhere in the house. I think you will find coming to this forum will help with your stress - it certainly has for me .
Have a read of this thread - I think it will help you feel much better https://thelabradorforum.com/threads/puppy-blues.18265/ And welcome to you from Mags, Tatze and Mollie from Manchester UK Tatze is my pet dog, a black Lab and she's four years old. Tatze means 'paw' in German. Mollie is my fourth Guide Dog puppy, a black Lab who is nine months old. .
I think I had underestimated how fraught I really was as my eyes welled up as I read these lovely replies... It's so nice to know that you're out there with a kind word and great advice! I'll try the gradual increase in being out of sight. When he wakes up from his nap and he can't see anyone, he's fine. He'll wait patiently until he needs to go out and give his little whine. It really is just when you disappear he wants you to know he's not happy about it. Thank you all again, you've made this day a little bit easier!
Hi and welcome to the forum from me and my boy Bailey, a 16 month old fox red lab. Nothing more to add to the excellent advice above, just wanted to say welcome and many of us have felt just like you do now - that corner will get turned and you will look back and wonder where the time went!
Ho and welcome from me and my fox red girl, Harley who is nearly 4 years old. That's fantastic that he is sleeping through the night. My girl was the same. I found that when I left the house she was fine and would settle better than when I was in another room. I also try and think about all the positives they do, and try to ignore the things I don't want her to do. What is your boys name?
Mollie was the same. So when she was tiny I took her everywhere with me, even to the shower for a week or so. After that I would leave her by walking out of the room and straight back, then out and back after 2 minutes, only coming in when she wasn't barking or whining and giving no fuss on the way in so that she didn't start anticipating my return (my return was a non-event. Slowly building the time up. She's nine months old and fine now .
Hi, His name is Ozzy! He's being a bit of a tyrant this morning, but as I mentioned earlier, his behaviour is definitely on the desirable side of what you look for. I think the issue is me, and the fact that he can sense that I'm unhappy and he's reacting to that. Veering OT, when it comes to walks, we're following the 5 minute rule. Question is, if I'm playing with him for 30 mins at a time several times a day, is there any difference between that exercise and taking him for walks, which appear to stimulate him far more that the soft play? Would say four ten minute walks do him more harm in the long run, than two walks and two or three play sessions? Thanks again for the earlier replies and thanks in advance for any answers to my ne
I searched long and hard for scientific evidence to support the 'five minute' rule and couldn't find any. Obviously you need to be sensible about not exhausting your pup but I too can't see why you shouldn't be out and about with Ozzie. We have only a small area of grass in our garden so I took Molly out for 30 minutes, three times a day. This wasn't lead walking or actually trying to walk somewhere but off lead at the recreation ground or beach. However I would say that your play sessions are very important for building your relationship with your pup, but could be done at home or out and about. You might feel happier going out more and meeting people to chat with -everyone loves a puppy!
The "five-minute rule" is more about common sense than anything. It's very vague and open to interpretation - and abuse from people who read it as only five minutes of exercise a day for each month of their life. Here's an article that discusses why age-appropriate exercise is so important: https://shoppuppyculture.com/pages/appropriate-exercise And a handy exercise chart: https://puppyculture.com/exercise-chart.html
Hey! Well joined! As @Oberon and @snowbunny said, learning to be okay when alone is very important, and it must be trained in small steps. Being a Guide Dog puppy raiser for me means my puppy is not out of my sight before he is 6 months old, if I can help it! That said, I start teaching "alone time" from 8 weeks old but giving puppy something yummy like a stuffed Kong, and walking out the room - no announcement or command. I come back in 2 minutes, no announcement or command, no fuss. I do this once or twice a day, gradually increasing the time length, and as he gets older I start crating him as well. You will be doing yourself, your puppy, and your neighbours a favour by making sure your pup can be alone for a couple of hours.
Just one note on the 5 minute rule, it may have already been covered but just in case.. The 5 min rule applies to the period of more physical activity., running around on a playdate, chasing leaves, zoomies in a field for example. A puppy will naturally self regulate by just just stopping or just walking around just sniffing the flowers, grass etc. This lower energy level isn't generally considered part of the 5 min rule. Saying that puppies will only be able to self regulate off lead. So if you are lead walking your 11 week old pup, might be worth bearing in mind they can't stop and start like they would off lead. With our latest pup I would take her out as a young pup, and just settle on the grass and play, or just stroll around with her off lead for a bit.
I would extend Kate @Beanwood's point to say that this is also true if you're walking A to B off lead, if you're the one dictating the pace. I would take my puppy out for longer than the "rule", but we'd spend time sitting down and watching the world go by, or sniffing the wonderful scents etc, rather than trying to cover any great distance. If we were out as a gang with my other two dogs, I'd engage them in training exercises to work their bodies and minds, while Squidge mooched around us.
