I'm facing the decision none of us want to take and am really struggling knowing what to do for the best, hence my post on this forum. My lovely 13-year old yellow boy Bryn was diagnosed with multiple tumours on his liver two weeks ago. There are also signs of Cushing's Disease, plus on a longer term he's been on meds for arthritis and an underactive thyroid. I am at such a loss to know what to do for the best, as I know I'm going to have to have him PTS, but I just don't know if this week is too soon, or if by waiting I'm prolonging any suffering. The vet gave me some Tramadol for him so I'm confident that I"m managing any pain, but I worry about what's going on internally and the effect it's having on him. He's lost a fair bit of weight and is sleeping a lot, but is still interested in food (he is a Lab after all) He's moving around as he usually does ( a bit stiffly) and he's not incontintent. If he had gone off his food or had become incontinent, the decision would be easier. He goes out to the garden and barks for no reason, as well as in the house if there's no-one in the room with him. I'm off work this week, but due back next week, then about 10 days after that I'm off to London for 5 days. Part of me says that it'd be best to arrange the vet appointment just before I go to London, and I'd like to have that little bit of extra time with him, but I just don't know if he's got a whole two weeks more in him, or whether it'd be kinder to make the appointment for later this week before I return to work. He's not left alone while I'm at work, as my Mum is around, but she's very elderly and finds letting him out/fetching him back in from the garden tiring. I've read so many posts on here that say 'better a day too early than a day too late', but I don't know if I'm jumping the gun by even thinking about doing it this week. What do others think?
Hello and welcome to the forum, I'm so sorry it's under such awful circumstances. I think only you can decide the answer to this, but here are my thoughts, for what they are worth. Choose the time that is best for you both. That does not mean choosing purely from convenience, which sounds so cold, but look at it this way. You know that this is an inevitable decision in the imminent future. You know you have to go back to work, and then on to London. What will happen if he lasts that long? How will he cope, and how will you cope, from being apart? What if he has to be PTS while you are away? If you wait until just before you leave, will you be able to cope on your trip, with it being so raw? Can going to work or on this trip be postponed? Right now, you are able to spend some quality time with him. If you know that this is something that is definitely going to have to happen within the next couple of weeks, I would be making sure I packed this time with everything that makes him feel great, whatever he is still able to do. If he can manage a trip to the seaside or a river, if only for a paddle. If he can go and lay on the grass in the sunshine. If he can eat an entire hamburger, all for himself. If he can spend a whole day curled up under a duvet with you. Anything, absolutely anything that would make him feel amazing, and loved. If you can plan the date and time, you know that you can fill his remaining time with making these wonderful moments, for him and for you. Something you will be able to look back on and know that his last days were filled to bursting with love.
I`m so sorry that you are facing the hardest, but often the kindest decision we have to face with our beloved dogs . I am definitely an advocate of the " Better a day too early " saying , and have comforted myself over these words many times . No one can tell you what is best for you, or for your darling dog , but if it were me , I wouldn't want to go off to London and leave him , I would want to be there , right there with him in his final days . I wish you all the very best , and again an sorry for your sad situation , comfort yourself that you have loved and cherished him , giving him a good life x
Aah @BrynsMum - such a difficult decision for you to make. Just to say, I am very sorry you are in this situation and hope that you will be able to make the right decision for Bryn.
I'm so very sorry such sadness has brought you to the forum @snowbunny has said it all so beautifully, this is exactly how I would feel and exactly what I would do. I haven't had to make such an awful decision yet, but I can only imagine the heartbreak you are feeling. Make the very most of every second with him and you will know in your heart what is right for your lovely Bryn. Thinking of you. xxx
My heart breaks for you, you have such a huge decision on your hands. Spend time with Bryn, listen to him, you will know when the time is right for him. Thinking of you both xx
Oh I feel for you. Such a hard decision to make. I've been there a few times myself and have to agree, rather a day too early than a day too late. I made the decision last year to have my Pointer PTS, he'd been diagnosed with a spinal tumour which was affecting his ability to swallow, amongst other things. I couldn't watch him just waste away before my eyes, so we gave him a few fantastic days doing all he loved doing, then let him go with dignity. I have a wonderful memory of him the day before pinching a ball off his doggy mate and prancing all around the field so proud of himself. Thinking of you. x
Whatever you do you will make the right decision because you clearly love him. Its a tough one kind thoughts and hugs to you both from all us all here.
I'm so sorry for you both. It's one of the hardest things we have to do in life. You will know when the time is right and like snowbunny says make the most of the time remaining. Cherish every second you have together and all the memories you have made.
I don't have any experience, but agree with the others ^^ What is important is that you are there and caring. Sending you strength to get through this xx
It's the most difficult decision and @snowbunny has summed it up very well. You would obviously prefer to be with Bryn, so that's an important factor to consider - and you're certainly not jumping the gun by thinking of that. Do keep in touch.
