My latest guest star: Tibor the Border Collie (or "How I Became a Seeing-Eye Human")

I feel for the both of you

 

This is fabulous, you're making him more adoptable, one less wee at a time!

SHHHHH don't give her ideas! *looks at photos of Tibi*....I mean, it's not a bad idea, he'd look good. In theory, you understand.

 

Much better, thanks Helen. The worst of the surgery stuff is definitely over, and I'm even getting my staples and stitches out tomorrow. Now it's going to be all about planning my trip to the UK.

Thankfully Tibi is also on the mend, fingers crossed, and seems to be back to realising that the living room floor is NOT for pooing and weeing.

 

Tibi and I continue to rub along. No more seizures and his liquid poos have been strictly outdoor affairs. Not very nice, but certainly better than the alternative!

His foster mama #2 took him Sunday evening as I had to make another dash into Munich on Monday morning. I have to admit, it was a very relaxing and quiet evening without Tibi. Oh, that's so bad of me and the exact opposite of how I usually feel, i.e. that a house without a dog is just SAD. I'm still genuinely puzzled as to why I've not fallen in love with Tibi.

I'm also still searching for something he finds to be fun IN ADDITION to his apparent life goal of weeing on every surface of Regensburg. Last night I was being a bit silly in my apartment and turned on some music and was kind of flopping around like a goob (aka "dancing") and Tibi did his normal thing of "I must follow you so closely that my nose is permanently melded to your inner knee."

As someone who did about a year of doggie dancing (ahem, that's "canine freestyle" to some) with Brogan, I thought, "Well, you like to follow me, let's see if you can then." So I started spinning around the apartment and really making a big deal of stomping every step so Tibi knew just where I was.

Guess what? He loved it! He kept putting his paws up around my waist and then was walking around with me on just his hind legs. He also seemed to get a kick of going under my legs. No, it wasn't graceful, but it was very silly and his little tail nub was going like mad. We didn't last too long as I'm still a bit light in the blood pressure department, but hey, I can add it to my box of tricks for a little evening levity.



p.s. yes, I may just be going a little dolally from the post-OP "no physical exercise" rule!

 

Great Dancing both of you

 

How lovely!

I think this could be due to him being blind and 'nose challenged'. It's a really tactile game so will suit the senses he does have.

I will ask my blind friends if they have any other ideas for you.

 

Thanks, Mags. Yes, I think you are right that touch (and sound) is very important due to his eyes and nose not working. I've really tried to convince him that sitting/laying by me on the sofa and getting pets is the way to go, but he gets bored super easy and after five minutes is looking for the way down (which is harder than you might think!). Cuddling is just not his superpower.

But sticking to me like glue and holding on to me like a koala on a tree trunk while I bounce around the apartment - that apparently floats his boat. Go figure!

 

You could also add it to your goals for your UK trip - but I'm not sure when the auditions for the next series of 'Britain's Got Talent' are being held...!

 

Another Tibi update and me little letting off of steam as this is my only real outlet to do it. Apologies in advance, today's entry is rather a downer.

As you can likely tell if you followed my fostering adventures with Toby, Tiger or the other Spanish dogs, Tibor is a whole other ball game.

Despite my discovery of his enjoyment of doggie dancing, we've have a tough week. He reverted back to fairly constant crying in the house to get me to take him out for more frequent walks. He's smart and he figured out before my surgery that if he looks pitiful and whines, I think it's an attack of yet another bout of diarreah. For the life of me, I can't tell the difference between a real emergency and the "I'm so bored and just want out" crying. So of course, I take him out.

In practicality what this means is that I'm spending three hours during my supposed work day walking Tibi. When I'm not out walking him, he is good for maybe 45 minutes, then starts the whining again. My work is writing, so involves a lot of concentration. The whining is driving me mad. Combined with doctor's follow-ups post-OP which this week took me in to Munich twice (6-8 hour round trips due to traffic and train breakdowns), this means that I'm constantly playing catch up with work early mornings, late nights and weekends.

Unfortunately the walking itself is the main issue. Tibi is so unpleasant to walk, I can't even explain. My favourite "dog activity" is walking my dog, but I hate walking Tibi with a passion. My patience is shot. I am angry. I feel abandoned by the rescue group. I've asked for help and nothing is forthcoming except for foster mum #2 and another friend of mine taking Tibi for the days I have to go to Munich - for this I'm VERY grateful, don't get me wrong.

Friday I told my friend who runs the rescue group that I just can't anymore. That this isn't a failing of Tibi but of myself. That I'm disappointed in myself and in my abilities, that maybe it makes me weak, or a bad dog person or a bad rescue person, but I need help and what I really I need is for her to find Tibi a foster that is better suited to him...immediately.

What I got back was a lecture on how she hasn't eaten in 48 hours because all her time goes to rescue. How she doesn't have money or time to herself because she spends it all on the dogs. How the dogs would be dead without her. She didn't say it, but the implication was how could I not handle ONE dog who had such MINOR issues? What the heck was wrong with me?

So I walked Tibi home after our talk, opened my front door, sat down on my front steps and just cried. I miss Brogan terribly. I miss Toby - who was a complete pain in keister at times, but also so much fun and reminded me about the joy of having a dog. I miss the feeling that dogs are my partners, that I'm good with them and while they are a lot of work, what you get back from them is absolutely more than worth it.

I'm even questioning whether I should even get a dog of my own any more. I know my life is so much more with a dog, especially a service dog, but the last month or so has shaken my confidence badly. I try to be positive here in my updates for the most part, but I'm pretty much just plain old miserable.

All of this is NOT Tibi's fault - I want to make that clear. He will be a wonderful dog for the right person in the right circumstances.

Right now, I think my only hope of getting out of this with friendships relatively intact is simply to do what the rescue group has known I would do all along - leave Germany in September and deliver Tibi to my friend (the head of the rescue) before I go. He will be safe and she will make sure he is taken care of. But I do not think there is any hope of getting her to take him back before then.

So for another three weeks, it will be 14 hour work days punctuated by many, many potty walks and me trying to do my best to keep Tibi happy and me somewhat calmed down. What's the British expression? "Keep calm and carry on"? So I'll amend that to, "Keep dog, keep calm and carry on!".

 

Oh Emily, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. You deserve a cry and that's completely fine, but, do not even begin to think this is about you. You are the perfect dog mum, and have opened your heart to rescue dogs, that quite frankly, other people wouldn't even have considered - myself included, and led them towards a new path of a better home.

As others have said previously, you are not getting enough support from the rescue centre, and it's worse as your friend runs the organisation. For the short term, not sure what you can do, - I can see delivering Tibi straight back to the centre is going to harm your friendship - (however I don't think this person is being a good friend to you at the moment, it's absolutely her choice to spend her money and time however she wants and shouldn't send you on a guilt trip about it ) but be absolutely clear on the date and time you are delivering Tibi back, (perhaps a few days before you leave to give yourself chance to catch up on work and pack) and start to look forward to your trip to the UK to find your new puppy. Or at least meet lots of lovely forum dogs. And then find a puppy.

Tibi is not the dog for you, and you cannot beat yourself up about this. You've been through quite an ordeal anyway with your surgery and most people wouldn't have contemplated a rescue dog during this time.

Sending you hugs over to Germany xx

 

I hope my message above didn't sound too shouty, I'm just so angry on your behalf and sad how upset you sound

 

Cor @Emily_BabbelHund - reading your update makes me feel angry on your behalf that you have been put in this situation and that you should actually feel bad about it. You say your work is suffering or you are constantly playing catch-up - that's so wrong. You are also recovering from surgery. I would clearly state a date Tibi goes back to the rescue group and make it soon. You deserve some time to get all you need to do before coming to the UK. As for putting you off getting your own dog - don't allow this difficult experience stop you getting what you have been working towards for a long time .

 

Big hugs Emily. Hang in there and your trip to the UK will be here before you know it.

I do understand this but honestly, when you get YOUR dog I'm sure you will laugh at this comment. I know you'll instantly remember (even with puppy bite marks all the way down your arms
) how these giant fluff balls are the purest example of love and loyalty

 

That person isn't a friend. She's a user (she is taking advantage of you and emotionally blackmailing you). Take Tibi to her house and leave him with her. Walk away. Put your health and sanity first.

 

I can't agree more with Rachael this person is not a friend. You are feeling this way because you've had surgery not getting much rest and tired. You are vulnerable to her guilt tripping you because of this. They are being very unkind and showing no empathy for you. You deserve to be treated better than this. I would take Tibi and give him back too.

 

I am completely with Rachael and Swampy.
You are being totally used and guilt-tripped.
Your "friend" needs a reality check (or a kick up the backside).
Just DO IT, Emily, get your life, health and sanity back.

 

Oh Emily, this is awful for you and Tibi I'm with @Oberon, @drjs@5 and @SwampDonkey this is an outrageous way for a friend to behave. You, your health and sanity come first. You have done more than enough so it's time to take him back, Tibi will be absolutely fine. So sorry you are feeling so sad, here comes a bucket load of and kisses from me, Hattie & Charlie xxx

 

I wish you were closer so I could give you some help, Emily! You really need a break!

Please don't question your doggy mum abilities - think of Brogan and Duncan and Mama Jodhi and Toby. That tells you everything you need to know.

 

I was thinking the same and struggling to put it into words.