I've been away doing stressful family things again, I came back to a completely hyped up Ripple - really hard work and he seemed to have gone back a hundred steps in his training . I can only assume this is down to OH doing all on lead walks and no training to keep Ripple's brain busy. I didn't really know what to do with Ripple as he didn't seem to be responsive to me at all, almost felt as if I was being punished for going away (probably an anthropomorphic explanation). I have to make these trips regularly and this is the worst he's been when I've come back, my previous dogs have always been pleased to see me but not Ripple . We are beginning to get back on track now as we went gun dog training yesterday. Ripple started off being a pain, just going off and eating twigs and branches but gradually got better. By the end of the session he was retrieving and returning well and looking to me for direction to find the dummy. Is there anything more I can do to strengthen my relationship with him? What can I do about him getting unsettled by my trips away? I guess to him I just suddenly disappear and reappear. Quite frankly the family stuff is hard enough, I look forward to coming home, but this time it has not been a good homecoming at all.
Obviously I'm no expert but is it maybe Ripples bond with your OH thats not as strong and that's what upsets him? Stanley doesn't notice if me or OH go away because he's happy to be with either one of us and still gets loads of love and fuss and his routine stays pretty much identical. But I know if he's gone with someone else he does come back quite unsettled and it takes a few days for him to re-settle back down. Hopefully Ripple will be back to his usual self soon
Sometimes I feel as if Ripple doesn't have a bond with anyone. He's not interested in cuddles or affection, he doesn't even get up and greet us when we come in the house. He will get up for visitors though. It is me who does all the training, OH is away loads for work so it's often only me and Ripple - these are probably the times when Ripple is best.
Usually, if I go away for a while, or if Lucky goes to the dog sitter, he takes a few days to adjust. He's happy that I'm home, and comes to say hello, but if I ask him to do something he stares at me with this really blank look - like when he was a teenager! I went on holiday a couple of weeks ago, and he stayed with the dog sitter, and from the first day back home he was completely normal and didn't do the staring thing. I don't know why he adjusted back so quickly, maybe because he's more used to the dog sitter now, he's stayed there a few times, or because he's a bit older and his training is more reliable. I always plan that the first week back we play lots of games, forget about training specific things, and don't ask too much of him, to help him settle back into his routine - maybe for some dogs it just takes them a bit longer to readjust. I felt the same with Lucky for ages - that he didn't really have that strong a bond with me, over the last year he has matured a lot, he was 3 in April, and now he looks to me more for direction and to see what I'm doing. I have been playing some of the games from Absolute Dogs, most of them are really straightforward, and to me it feels like giving your dog treats for doing very little - like just rolling them along the floor for them to chase, but I think it has improved our relationship and we have a lot more fun. It's been much better for us than specific formal training - and I thought I played lots of fun games with him before, but actually I didn't invest enough time in fun things.
I am sure it is not as bad as you think it is. You are upset and things always seem worse. What does Ripple like to do the best? I would play with him more and see if that helps. Sending hugs
He does sound like Moo she never greets anyone sometimes me. My friend who's know Moo for 14 years was shocked the other day because she went to her for affection. First time ever. Moo a very driven and unaffectionate dog always has been. I've never felt bonded like I have with Doug or Rory but she's just a different dog. She's doing her stuff. I have come to realise we do have a close bond as she's got older she just dances to a different drum. It's all under the surface with Moo hidden but it's there. I see a lot of similarities when you talk about Mr R. Moo is a hard dog like RIpple but I now know she trusts and loves me she just keeps it under rapps. You sound stressed and tired he sounds so happy that you are back he doesn't know what to do with himself. Sometimes I catch her looking at me when she doesn't know I am and her gaze is adoring but don't teĺl her. Friends tell me she watches me all the time and since she's become deaf and partially sighted and relys on me more. I think what I've realised is I'm a rock for Moo and she needs me. Ripple clearly adores you and knows how to get your attention even if it means misbehaving
@lucky_dog Its interesting about Luckys age, I've always felt Ripple was very immature as at 2 I hoped we would have more of a bond (too much comparison to previous dogs I think). Perhaps this will come more over the next year. Ripple is certainly more chilled today after yesterday's gundog training - that's something he really enjoys. @Cath - yes I've come back pretty upset and would have liked an affectionate dog to have cuddled. This year has been really hard, it seems like me and OH have been like ships that pass in the night. Unfortunately what Ripple likes to do best is run off lead eating unmentionables , but I'm sure I can find some games that he will enjoy.
Everything you say rings true @SwampDonkey - Moo and Ripple sound very very similar, it's so helpful to have you put your perspective on it . I have also had people say Ripple watches me all the time, I just never catch him doing it.
Ella is similar to Ripple in some ways (they both seem to be lunatic, completely immature 2 year old choccies) and completely different in other ways (Ella is very clingy and cuddly). Ella is very nutty when I've been away from her. I believe some part of it is that no one else exercises her brain like I do but I also think (perhaps because I want to) that it's partly because she's missed me/not been as happy without me there. As simple as it sounds, the first thing I always do is try to burn the excess energy. Usually this involves chucking the ball a few times so that she does some zoomies and has a bit of a run. Once the "excess" is dealt with, I find it much easier to do some training or go for a nice walk.
@SteffiS , so sorry to read of your unhappiness. I guess a dog is like us in one way - that they are the way they are and there's not to much we can do to change them, at least they can't be false. I do think playing on walks and doing things to keep their interest really helps, I've been doing it with Cassie, I'm about to update her training log so I will put it there. I'm sure it's very tempting to compare to past dogs, but he's Ripple and doing things his way. Sorry if that sounds a bit preachy.
Poor you, it sounds as though you've been having a difficult time generally. I've had somewhat similar experiences with Jess, as we live between two houses and though she is usually with me, my husband is constantly arriving/leaving and I often find that she is quite unsettled by the moving around and constant change of people & environment. I think the suggestion of more training with Ripple is a really good one - I try to take Jess for a lovely big country walk after my husband goes away/we arrive at a new spot. Anything that tires her out naturally is good I think, so that she can adjust back into the new normal. Of course, when you're tired after a long trip I know it would be nice just to cuddle up with a dog on the sofa. Hopefully that will come soon. I think it's understandable that they get unsettled when the routine changes - and though it's a pain to go back steps in training, it's good that they notice and care that we're not around!
oh yes, and in terms of more practical steps to improve your bond with Ripple after you've been away for a bit: the exercise I keep coming back to is to click & treat when Jess looks at me on walks. This really works for her, and brings her focus back to me quickly. I also do the 'find it' with treats, scattering them and getting her to sniff them out. That's helpful too. She also like me to sit holding a rawhide while she chews it,so I do a lot of that too! Anything that keeps her close to me and encourages her to engage with me really - playing with a toy, a bit of recall practice. I did the "four paws in a box" forum challenge with her at the weekend, that was quite fun.
Some dogs are just deep and don't show it they are not your normal lab. Doesn't mean you don't rock Ripples world .
Oh, and another thing- the first time I left Jess for more than a night I thought I would get an amazing welcome, as she always gets incredibly excited when my husband arrives. But she almost completely ignored me at first and didn't properly warm up for a couple of days. I was really hurt! But I know her bond with me is strong, and though she loves my husband I'm pretty sure I'm her number 1 person . Ripple loves you - he'll be back to normal sooner than you think.
When I went until hospital as an emergency with sepsis I was away a while the boys fared well, out of them all I expected my fabulous to suffer the most but it was Moo the dog that can do fine without me who was most upset. when i came back she lay on my feet for 3 days and got visibly upset if I left her. Even when she had to go into the vets for a minor op she got very upset. The nurse who's know Moo since puppyhood even commented on it. Poor little dog . Thr truths out now she does like me after all
@SteffiS I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I don't think I can add much other than I noticed Monty maturing a lot around age 3, a bit more snoozing, generally calmer. When you are away, if your OH doesn't like off lead walks, could you find a dog walker to do occasional, off lead group walks? These are the highlight of Monty's week and wear him out entirely. I know it might seem a bit counterproductive if he's around and you then get someone else to walk Ripple, but I do it quite often, freeing me up extra time in the day to do little bits of training with him in between work.
Unfortunately our local dog walker, who has walked and boarded Ripple in the past, won't let him off lead due to his poo eating. I've had a long chat with OH about this today and I think he realises he needs to rethink his approach to Ripple when I'm away. We have had a better day today with Ripple, I've upped his training and introduced a couple of different things (just need to up OH's training now ).
Oh dear, so sorry to be reading this. Would OH engage in mental games with Ripple when you are away? And is your dog walker not happy just walking Ripple on-lead. Is the lead walk still a pulling-fest? Such a shame
