Upsetting incident, need some reassurance (sorry - long post)!

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by MillysMom, Sep 28, 2017.

  1. MillysMom

    MillysMom Registered Users

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    I have a 6 month old Lab, plus two older dogs (Lab and a Golden). The two older girls are fabulous dogs, sweet and gentle. The puppy is...a Lab puppy, and all that implies! :)

    A little while ago, I had someone knock very loudly on my door. Generally, I do not answer the door unless I know who is on the other side, but for some reason I opened it this time. It was a young man soliciting. As I tried to listen politely, I could hear the dogs going bonkers with excitement that someone new might be coming to see them. They were locked in my kitchen behind a gate, but they got so excited that they knocked the gate down, and came barreling out onto our front porch. The older dogs just came out and sniffed around, no barking or jumping, just lots of wagging tails. The puppy immediately jumped up on the man, mouth wide open, to "shake hands with her mouth" as Lab puppies tend to do. I got her down, got everyone back in the house, apologized for her behavior. The man started yelling at me that "your dog bit me!" I apologized again, and explained that the dog in question is a puppy who is still learning and was over excited in the extreme. She definitely did not "bite" him in an aggressive way (and she has displayed zero aggressive tendencies since the day I brought her home at 9 weeks) and there was no broken skin. That said, I do not doubt that her mouth made contact with his hand.

    I'm upset that the dogs knocked down the gate, I'm upset that my puppy forgot every bit of training that she has had so far (she just started intermediate level puppy training), I'm upset that she jumped up and caused distress for this man, and I am upset that he yelled at me.

    So...help! How do others cope when their puppies do something bad, socially unacceptable, or upsetting?
     
  2. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    So sorry that you had a bad experience with this pushy, rude man. This was in your home, at your front door, and the man had come onto your property voluntarily to get something from you. You made efforts to keep your dogs secured and wouldn't have known they were capable of knocking down the gate. You did the right thing and it's not your fault. It's really horrible to be yelled at. It leaves you unsettled for a while but that disappates.

    I think your pup behaved totally normally for her age and the situation and, while you can train her to eventually do something calmer instead (sit on a mat, sit for treats etc) there's nothing to feel bad about here in my opinion. In your case I'd just work out a way to secure the gate a bit better (or shut them behind a door).

    I think that a lot of us will have been in situations where our dogs did something that led to an upset. I can remember a couple of times in my early, youthful days of dog ownership when I made mistakes (you haven't made a mistake though!) which led to a big kerfuffle. One time I tied my dog up outside the butcher (mistake) while I went in. A kid (his mother was also in the butcher's) ran up to my dog who barked at him. The mother went ballistic. Totally nuclear. I won't relate all the intervening details but in the end I apologised and we did a controlled 'sit and pat' with my dog and the boy. It was awful and really shook me up. Another time we were at my parents' place and walking to the car to go home and a child friend of my parents wanted to walk my dog to the car, so I let her have the lead (mistake). Up near the road she let go of the lead and my dog ran up to a women walking past our car and barked at her (he was a huge black boy with a big bark). She also absolutely lost it and, at high volume, threatened to involve the RSPCA, the police, you name it. My mother talked her down. That was also really awful. In both cases I'd made an error that had allowed the chain of events to kick off, and so that made me feel even worse. Anyway, I'm a fellow recipient of crazy yelling and have lived to tell the tale...!

    I haven't actually taught my dog a nice polite greeting at the door because I want him to bark. I take him to the door with me and hold his collar. Until I let him greet the person (which I do if I know them) he barks, and I like it that way as I feel safer. If we're expecting a delivery we shut him in a room with a treat when the delivery person arrives.

    If you do want a polite greeting at the door then you can definitely train for that.
     
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  3. Peppa

    Peppa Registered Users

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    Oh that sounds awful. Sounds to me that your dogs behaved totally normally. I can understand that someone who hasn't had a dog or who isn't familar with puppies may have found it a bit scary so he probably reacted out of fear and shock.
    You didn't do anything wrong and lets face it, we cant always predict every scenario.
    Wishing you all the best xx
     
  4. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    I think it is really upsetting when someone reacts unfavourably to your dog, and then in a knee jerk reaction has a bit of a dig at yourself. In part it is a normal human reaction, a sort of amygdala hijack. So don't worry, it will pass. :)
    I remember when a delivery guy actually opened our front door to drop a parcel in, they do that sometimes as they are under so much pressure to deliver under really tight timescales. He was jumped on by 3 dogs, and chased down the driveway by Casper, shouting his head off about dangerous dogs...Casper thought it was the best fun he had in days. Although not my fault, I did feel very uncomfortable as the guy did look really scared.
     
  5. Harley Quinn

    Harley Quinn Registered Users

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    @MillysMom I absolutely love the phrase "shaking hands with his mouth" and I am so going to use that from now on. Harley has really improved with jumping up and mouthing at hands but I have had a number of situations where I felt like an incompetent, permissive dog owner that couldn't be bothered to train their dog. For instance I have a friend who is a BRILLIANT medical specialist and true as bob, everytime she comes to visit Harley can't wait to grab her hands. Her hands are insured for pete's sake, they are so valuable to her career. And she is absolutely wonderful about it and has done her own research about labs since we became close friends so she always insures me that everything is fine and she will cross her arms and turn her back until Harley calms but seriously...does it have to be those hands Harley can't wait to get in her mouth? Then also, the other day at the vet, I took Harley with me to get some supplies and have her weighed. I was standing at the counter to ask for something and an older woman came and stood next to me. Harley tiggered her. (When she poings from dead still to bounce into someones face) and the woman shrieked and jumped away. I felt so bad and I ensured her that Harley was just a young dog and it was my fault for not being further away. She didn't say anything but I could see she was displeased.

    Our oldest cat is an absolute kleptomanic and steals from everyone's bags when they visit, and when they want it back he yells at them so I have had so much practice for apologizing for my animals.

    Oh and DH is not the most tactful person in the world either. I think I should just get a reflective vest that reads :I AM SORRY
     
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  6. FayRose

    FayRose Registered Users

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    I totally agree with Oberon. We live in a rural area and certainly don't stop Molly barking when someone knocks on the door, nor do we teach her 'manners' for approaching someone when the door is opened. If she appears large, noisy and bumptious, so much the better.
     
  7. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    I can understand why you'd be upset, but the man was on your property, of his own choice, to try to get money from you. And then he had the nerve to respond that way to you. So regarding causing him distress, I don't really have much sympathy for him :p.

    Regarding your puppy doing something "bad", it was a very excitable situation, with all the dogs ramping each other's excitement levels up. Knocking down the gate was probably really exciting, too. So it isn't surprising that she acted over threshold. I wouldn't take it as your training failing, in this case the distraction level was just too high for her. In the future you could train them to go into a room that you can close the door on, if you don't want them coming to the door (that's what I've done). You can also train them to go to their beds when the doorbell rings, but if I'm perfectly honest, I think I'm a bit too lazy for that :oops:
     
  8. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    As all the others say so well. It was normal puppy behaviour. It must have been very upsetting for you and I am sorry. The man obviously doesn't understand or even know dogs. He was on your property and knocked your door without permission to do so. Surely if he goes from door to door he must realise that dogs do react to him.
     
  9. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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  10. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    To be honest, I do have some sympathy for the man, who was only doing his job (however distasteful you may find cold calling) and was rushed by a pack of unknown dogs. He simply reacted to what was happening to him, it must have been scary. Did he deal with it as well as he could? No, of course not, but he was taken off guard at best and none of us react our best when we're on the back foot.

    Does this mean you should beat yourself up about it? Not at all; it's just one of those things. You can understand why your dogs acted like they did. You know there was nothing aggressive about their behaviour. So, take it as a learning experience and move on. I don't think the man needs berating for his reaction, but neither do you or your dogs. If anything similar happens again, all you can do is what you did; get control of the situation, then apologise.
     
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  11. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    Agree with @snowbunny, it must have been a bit nerve wracking for the deliveryman, because it was unexpected, so he probably overreacted a bit. I would however, double check your baby gates and look at a "go to bed" cue for her when someone comes to the door, even if you know who they are :)
    Don't beat yourself up though, have a think about what to do next time and move on :)
     
  12. MillysMom

    MillysMom Registered Users

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    Thanks, all! This is what I needed. Just like with human kids, it's hard not to feel like a failure when something goes wrong with puppy behavior.
    @Harley Quinn I wish I could take credit for that phrase, but I stole it from our Puppy Kindergarten trainer. But it is a pretty apt phrase! :)
     
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