Making the decision to give up a puppy/dog because you are finding it too hard is not a failure, it requires a certain strength to say that raising a cute puppy isn't for you. We are all different and have to make decisions for ourselves and our families. It is far better for a puppy to be re-homed than for people to struggle on and not be happy, particularly with the potential for the puppy to develop behaviour issues.
If it makes people question whether they can cope with a puppy and boisterous adolescent surely it can't be all bad. Many people have unrealistic ideas about what living with a puppy will be like and reading books my help in preparation, but reality can be very different. I see too many situations where it would have been better for people either not to have got that puppy or that it would be better to re-home and that is one very tough suggestion to make to people.
DH and I have have made the decision to remain child-free. One of the reasons being that I completely and utterly respect the immense work and sacrifice that goes into raising children in a good enough relationship. So when we decided to get Harley I was completely overwhelmed and horrified by the reality of what a lab pup really is versus what I imagined. And the time seemed like it would never pass and yet, it just did. And we all survived. I still say that I enjoy her way way more than when she was a pup and if it wasn't for us having to introduce our cats to a puppy I would have rather adopted an older dog but I could never risk it with our cats. And she just is the most incredible member of the family, she has such a sense of humour that she makes me laugh so hard during training that I have to stop doing what I am busy and just laugh. It will be hard and then better and then maybe hard in a different way but I can not imagine life without her.
However, there have also been many, many situations on here where people have felt desperate and have come very close to rehoming their puppy. Several of them are long-time members on this forum - they hung in there, and are now reaping the benefits of a lifetime companion.
I was sixty four years young when I got Sam as a nine week old puppy , and yes , I did have those " What have I done " moments , I don't mind admitting ! But he was delightful , hard work but repaid by the bucket load in love, amusement and loyal companionship . I have loved each and every stage with my big boy , he is now six years old and I couldn't love him more . Dog owning isn't for everyone , fact , but for myself , I cannot imagine life without a dog and the ultimate joy they bring x
I agree, I thought about it for a long time and have dog experience and hopefully a bit of a grasp on reality. I agree that someone who buys a pup and then decides, after trying everything else and lots of effort, that they cannot deal with it, it is in the best interests of the dog to be loved somewhere else. But there are many people who think it is ok to give a pup a trial run then give it back, not realising how it can affect maybe the pup's development and its future owner's effort to train it. These people do not deserve the love of that dog. I know someone who had a pup for a few weeks and the kids would not stop teasing it or winding it up, so they got rid of it, after such a short time and no effort in disciplining the kids.
I don't have any children so I can't comment on how hard it is to raise them. But my pup was HARD! I don't know whether it was because he was a lab or if he was just a terror - he's definitely been worse than all my friends pups who all couldn't believe how bad he was. He cried as soon as he couldn't see me, he didn't sleep through on a night until he was about 4.5 months, he bit me until he drew blood, couldn't be left on his own so I never got to go anywhere. I used to cry all the time! BUT even through all those hard times I could see there was an amazing little man in there - he just needed some guidance. I thought about rehoming him, thought I wasn't a good enough puppy mam but me and my OH stuck through it (he was smitten from day one) and it got better. We went to training classes, found this forum and all of a sudden we had the best creature either of us have ever known. I can't even relate to those awful days now because Stanley is literally the best thing on this planet EVER! Now I'd rather stay in and spend time with him than go out. I don't think you're ever truly prepared for what little monkeys they are - I know if I were to get another one it would still probably shock me and I'd always warn someone that puppies can be hard but I always always tell them the hard work is worth it!
My lab was my first puppy that I raised as an adult from a wee babe, so he was my baseline for what puppies are like.
And a huge well done to them for hanging in there when times get hard, and battling on and reaping the rewards at the end.
Agree with you. I really wish it were harder to get a puppy, or a dog from rescue, than it currently is perhaps then there wouldn't be so many dogs with behaviour problems - or some times owners with the problems which creates a reaction in the dog. I have numerous clients with young rescue dogs, all in the 7-12 months age group and often on their second or third home already
I do think that many people have a pre conceived ideology where rescues are concerned , thinking that this dog will show gratitude , will do their bidding because it is so happy to have been rescued , the truth is out there !!
Goodness! I never meant to cause any problems with my comments. I deeply apologise and will be much more careful in future.
You didn’t, not at all. You made us think I would bring in a ‘dog license’ rather like a car licence if i ruled the world! .
I guess I took a different spin on the matter of getting a puppy. My wife was traveling at least 4 nights a week, sometimes 5 when Murphy picked us out. So, a lot of it fell on me. Before he got us, I told myself that he needed me, no matter when. He was counting on me. Like the old quote "whither thou goest, I goest". I also told me that he would never be "getting even" with me and that all he wanted to do was make both of us happy. He would never do anything out of spite. Once that was firmly entrenched in my noggin, the rest came pretty easy. Need to pay attention to him. Correct him when he is doing something we don't want him to do. Kindly, gently, in a normal tone of voice. We have a partnership (btw, he also has one with my wife) Murphy has spent a lot of time observing us, figuring out what we do, what we like, what we don't. We have done the same with him. Establishing a connection with your friend is probably the best thing you can do. Trust is everything. We never tease Murphy with his toys, treats or food. We don't let anyone else do that either. BTW, we break some of the "rules" you read here. I break one every night. I get right down on the floor and play "blue blanket" with Murphy. Lots of tugging, rolling it in a ball and tossing it, etc. If I am not fast enough rolling it up, well, I just get some big ol' licks right on my ears. We have some places in the house that he like to lay right where a person needs to walk. Without ever saying a word to him (we always stepped over him, never asked him to move) he started moving himself a bit so we could walk through. It is a partnership, one that lasts for either the rest of your life or the dog's life. That is really important to remember!
