Hello all. I am new to the forum. I have a 13 year old Labrador who stole my heart when she was one month old. I never saw it coming..before I knew it, I LOVED her as deeply as I love my children. She had me hook, line, and sinker. Within a month, I hated going to work because it meant I had to leave her and it was hard to do. I found myself getting home as fast as I could just to be with her. Our hearts are intertwined and I swear she was created with my missing rib! I took her everywhere I could and things that I used to do without her, I just quit doing because I wanted to be with her all the time. I spent every second I could with her and still do. I left a relationship when Shadow was a year old and this sweet girl got me through it! I could be depressed or sad but as soon as I got near Shadow, things were magically ok again. Everyone that ever met her loved her. I spent a ton of time with her while she was growing up and trained her with a lot of love and a lot of patience. The result was an awesome, beautiful, bold, and healthy girl. She wanted for nothing. She is my child....Now for the hard part and the part that is hard for me to talk about. But I feel that if I do not say this, that I will go crazy. I am just trying to find out if there are other people out there that feel as deeply about their family member as I do. Shadow was doing great until last year when she was diagnosed with an immune deficiency disorder. She was sick for all of 2017. I thought I was losing her, and it hit me extremely hard. I was not ready for the thoughts that now filled my head. I was so depressed that I had to quit working because I literally could not concentrate on what I was doing. Ihad to be near Shadow. I started having panic attacks when she was the sickest. I prayed a million times for God to take me instead and give my life to Shadow. I prayed for God to take me up on my "deal". God did save Shadow and got her stable again after a whole year. It took 8 trips to Auburn University to get her stable again. But after this sickness she could no longer jump in the car by herself, or run, or anything she used to do. Her hind legs are weak now and she has trouble standing up. I do not know where all the years have gone. It seems like she was a puppy, and now she is old. I am trying to cope with horrible depression because of all this. I cannot face a day without my Shadow and the thought horrifies me. Me and my wife are very blessed, but no matter what good things happen to my family, I just cannot be happy with this black cloud over my head. I love my Shadow, and I do not want to lose her. Now I know how a parent with a sick child feels..you feel helpless. If you have read this far, thank you. I know that there must be others out there who feel this way. I never thought life would ever feel this way, but here it is and I have to keep trying to deal with it although I think I will never be able to. Please, I would love to hear from others like me who are struggling with the emotions of loving your family member and watchinf them grow old. God bless...
Hi Richard, what can I say? What a lucky dog you have, to have enjoyed such a full, and loved life so far. Indeed, we do wonder where the years have gone, however, looking back and appreciating the amazing life might be a little easier than looking forward. Enjoy those wonderful memories, enjoy each special day you have. The greatest gift we can give is a wonderful and caring life, then with dignity and compassion when the time is right to say goodbye. We all feel just as you do, however, the forum is a safe place where we all share in the sorrow, followed by smiles when happy memories are shared after losing one of the forum pack.
I do understand how you feel, but your sad and frightened feelings of losing Shadow are 'spoiling' what time you do have left with her. The thought of losing them is dreadful, sad that their lifetime is so much shorter than ours, I comfort myself that I gave my dog the happiest life he could have. I lost my beloved Labrador Drift, suddenly last September, he was only just 11 and it was unexpected, the grief was very painful but we do get through it. Try to treasure the days you have left, there might be many more than you know and make every moment of Shadow's life as happy as it can be, even though she is weaker. I feel deeply for you, it will help to talk about your fears and here on this forum you will get loving support and understanding.
Thank you Stacia. I do try to cherish every moment with her. I honestly feel like God sent her to me so we could help one another. I have poured my life into her and she has given me life in return. It is the most difficult time I have ever had and I have lived through some very trying times in my life. I kid my wife and tell her that God dressed an angel up as a Labrador puppy and sent her to me! God bless and thank you again! Rick
I hope this forum will help you find comfort so you can enjoy your time with Shadow. I have some understanding of the depth of your feelings for your dog as I have an 11 year old Lab who I have had since she was 5 months. She has aged a lot recently so I have started to think more about the future. She is a family member, loved by all of us. When we got her we told the breeders we would give her a good life. A part of that is accepting that she will not always be with us so I take huge comfort knowing that we have and are giving her the best life ever.
It’s the most difficult part of owning a pet. Shadow is obviously enjoying a lovely life with you and your family, creating some wonderful memories. There’s no magic solution, except for just continuing to do your best for her and enjoying her company. Do keep in touch with the forum.
I lost two deeply beloved old dogs within a couple of years. I mourned them both deeply, and can understand how you are feeling. But you owe it to Shadow (and to your wife and yourself) to make this part of her life as happy as possible, for all of you. May you have many happy years still ahead of you. All the best.
Dear Granca, thank you so much for your encouragement, it means the world to me! I do so cherish my time every day with her. We have always had just a natural, special bond that goes way beyond anything I have ever felt. I know God made her for me because she is in my very bones and blood and heart. Thank you again! Rick
Dearest Karen, it sounds as though we both share a common thread in the fact that we love our (kids) very, very deeply. I can only imagine the grief that you endured when you lost your precious ones and so closely together. It must have been unspeakably hard for you to get through. I always am cheerful and happy around baby girl because she picks up on my feelings if I am sad. I cannot fool her, she sees right through me. We are so in tune with each other. Likewise, when she is ill, I detect it in her long before her symptoms get bad. Thank you so very much for your reply today. It makes me feel better just knowing that there are other people like you who loves their kids just like I do. Thank you..
Dear Atemas, you are so right in saying that we have to take grear care of, love and enjoy every second we have. My heart and thoughts are with you also as your beloved one grows older also. It is such a hard, hard thing to try and wrap your mind and feelings around. Thank you for your thoughts today. We both will keep on loving our babies! God bless...
Having been in this situation myself several times Richard, my heart really does go out to you. Sending love and thoughts, along with wags and licks from myself and little Joy.(Small and very sweet black Lab.)
It is truly the hardest part of sharing our lives with our beloved dogs, but know this - Shadow will remain with you forever. It is nearly 2 years since I lost my dear girl Belle. The pain was immeasurable, but she is with me all the time. The hurt subsides and I smile with her again. Every day. Keep enjoying your life with Shadow. Don't spoil it for yourself by dwelling on the inevitable. Shadow won't understand your sadness, she is looking for your joy.
Hey Candy, and thank you for your sweet thoughts! Reading your words, it feels as though we both share in the emotions that we have for our babies. I am overwhelmed by so many on this forum that feels the way we do about our precious ones. Thank you Candy and God bless..
Dear Edzbird, wow, your words touched me and you are so very right. I always try to show Shadow my "happy" side when I am around her. Lots of hugs, kisses, smiles, and our "conversations" where I tell her how special she is to me and how much I love her. My favorite thing to do is whisper "I love you's" into her ear and she will stay just as still as a statue until I am done. I know it must have veen hard losing Belle. I could only imagine the pain you went through. I wish no one had to feel pain like that. It's only when I am in another room or at work when I try to deal with the depression from my thoughts. Sometime I will go for a week or two and be fine, but other times it really knocks me down. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. Thank you for your kind and powerful message. It really means a lot to me. Rick and Shadow
I had to run to the loo for a little cry reading this at work....we lost our boy Benson 7 years ago and like Edzbird said, the pain was immeasurable. Especially for my husband because he was at home with him every day and they were inseparable. But as time went by it gets better and your hurt becomes lovely memories. Enjoy her and don't think about the future. And now we finally bit the bullet and have little Maxx who is 7 months old, naughty and cheeky but really loving and we just adore him. I try not to compare because they are totally different dogs with very different personalities but either way, life is better with a dog (especially if he/she is a Labrador...not that I'm biased, not one bit).
Dear Maxx's Mum, thank you for sharing your story with me! I know Benson was very loved and taken care of! My heart hurts for you and your husband knowing the pain you must have both gone through. The closest description for me would be the pain that a parent feels when a child is sick. That desperate, lonely, helpless feeling. Shadow has always completed my life and given me purpose. God sent her to me when I needed her the most and we developed a bond that is indestructible. The depression did not hit me until last year when she got sick. I prayed a million times to have more time with her. It truly just shook my life. People like you have given me new insight into the fact that there a lot of people out there that feel the way I do. I am truly enlightened by knowing this. Many, many, many happy years with Mr. Maxx! He sounds like a real character! And yes, I am biased for Labradors too! They are truly angels in disguise! Best wishes and thanks again...
sweet black Lab.) Hey Candy, and thank you for your sweet thoughts! Reading your words, it feels as though we both share in the emotions that we have for our babies. I am overwhelmed by so many on this forum that feels the way we do about our precious ones. Thank you Candy and God bless..
I really can’t say I know what it feels like to loose a beloved dog as Harley is my first ever dog. She is nearly 5 years old and is my world. She sleeps with me and my OH and is a huge part of my family. She has helped me through hards times with my health and I have helped her when she was very poorly. We nearly lost her when she was 1 years old to pyometra, but am so thankful to my vets for operating so quickly. I try not to think about life without her and instead focus on giving her the best life I can. Hugs to you and Shadow
