When we first went to see Millie in the dogs home , we were told that it was imperative to get her out asap as she was beginning to bond with one of the staff which they didnt want at all , we were told that she craved affection and would bond very quickly . I had really hoped that Millie would bond with my husband as Sam is mine through and through, but this didnt happen as planned : She does sometimes go to get on his knee for a cuddle but its me she tries to get too constantly, I cant walk out of the room without her following me , I am trying very hard not to fuss her too much, not to allow her onto my knee , trying to keep a little space . This morning one of us had to wait in for a delivery, so Paul said he would take them to Golitha , his friend went with him as Paul is disabled and cant walk far and needs support . When he came home he said that Millie had run back to the car crying , she had to be walked onlead as she was obviously looking for me and got into a panic when she couldnt see me . Its four months now since she came to live with us , do you think velcro behaviour will settle or is something that will probably stay with her for good ? She isnt any trouble at all , staying close to me on walks , thankfully Sam doesnt seem to mind her bonding with me , he still lays next to me on the sofa whilst she is not allowed because I dont want Sam to feel pushed out , as long as he is next to me, he is fine . Paul tells me that when I take Sam out on his own , Millie sits by the door waiting and crying for a few mins and then resigns herself to my absence . Paul seems to think that I am maybe beng cruel to reject her constant requests for cuddles , I`d hate to think that this is the case , I`m just trying to make her a little less besotted :
Re: Unsure how to play this . I'm afraid I don't have any experience of this but I hope you find the right way through for you all
Re: Unsure how to play this . Is there anything that Paul can do with Millie, that you don't do? Could he for instance be the one to give her her food? Just thinking that with labs, love is often given to the provider of food... Is it the same with terriers??
Re: Unsure how to play this . I have a feeling it might always be like this, Kate. My Ziggy is totally besotted with me and will have nothing to do with my husband. I have tried everything I could think of but to no avail he only has eyes for me and OH can't get anywhere near him. Just one of those things.
Re: Unsure how to play this . He often does feed her Karen, but sadly because his mobility is poor, he rarely walks them . We have a theory , that she was owned by an elderly lady , maybe she died or went into care and her family/friends whatever , reluctantly took Millie but didnt want her, hence her becomming a stray . Someone at sometime took the trouble to have her microchipped although these details were changed to the ones who cast her out ,but they housetrained her and set a few boundaries . Paul also plays with her, he tries his best to court her affection , she does love him but its me she clings too . I wondered if it might be worth Paul trying to take her out ( and Sam as she clings to him ) more with his friend , even if its just once a week when he feels up to it , just to try and stop this complete adoration which is very sweet but surely not healthy ? Or , dont we worry about whats healthy with a little stray ? Just read your reply Heidrun , my husband has tried everything too, oh well, not to worry , no use getting paranoid about it , mine she will have to be
Re: Unsure how to play this . I guess things don't always work out as you hope In our house its seems the person doing the feeding and the training is the favoured person. Or of course whoever current has a handful of food :
Re: Unsure how to play this . I think that while you are the person who is most often in charge of training, walks, entertainment and food you will be No. 1. It doesn't sound to me as if Millie is 'attached in an unhealthy way'. Her level of anxiety when you leave doesn't seem too bad or too much. Dogs just want to be within their people I don't think that it's a bad thing to not respond to every single request for affection from her, especially if it is Sam's turn, but I also don't think that the level of adoration she has for you is a problem either. She loves you and you make her feel safe and that's great.
Re: Unsure how to play this . I found that the first couple of times I took Sophie to the kennel (to work) and Lilly was in the back she whined like billy-oh, but now she isn't in the least bothered. It might just be because "it was something different". I reckon keeping on with Paul doing the walking on a regular basis (as he and his friend are able) surely would strengthen the bond.
Re: Unsure how to play this . I agree with the others Kate a dog will naturally bond with the person they spend most time with. However it's only been 4 months and you don't really know her history so I would persevere with Paul doing as much with her as possible it certainly won't do any harm. She might not bond with him like she has with you but I'm sure the bond will get stronger. All my dogs have definitely been mine, old and new. The OH gets them all excited and they go nuts when he gets home but they follow me. ;D
Re: Unsure how to play this . Ah Kate you know my lack of experience prevents me from offering any advice ....in our house Dexter definatley knows who the MOMMY is ;D because like others have said I spend the most time with him and do all his caring.his first choice will always be me but he loves Chris to bits and he knows who to go to for what he wants .....He knows dinner time it's my legs he needs to get under and 9.30 pm walk time it's Chris's face he needs to lick.....there's no telling what your little Millie has faced before she came to you,a man might have been unkind to her ,heaven forbid but she's such a little mystery girl isn't she x
Re: Unsure how to play this . Katie My Poppy is with me all day and every day she comes to work with me everyday so much she will follow me everywhere but once we are at home and husband comes home its all him him I get no cuddles she only has eyes for him and hes not really a dog lover....they all have their funny ways don't they...Good Luck x
Re: Unsure how to play this . Hi Kate - I'd stick with trying to leave her with Paul as with perseverance I think she will get more used to him. Giving him the task of feeding her will also build the bond. When there are two dogs and two owners usually you end up with a dog each. What usually happens though is that when the other partner is away the dogs both fall in to line as being both your dogs. Perhaps leave them both with Paul for periods of time as well as then they will both vie for his affection and this should build the bond too. Hope it all works out for you - I am sure it will.
