Nervous meeting strangers

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by Skye, Aug 15, 2018.

  1. Skye

    Skye Registered Users

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    My 9 month old lab Nelson, has always been nervous meeting new people, but I am running out of ideas with how to help him with this. Hope someone can give me some ideas and reassurance!

    He hasn’t had a bad experience with people so I don’t know why he is so nervous! The only thing I can think is that he was bred in a kennel so didn’t get enough human contact in his early life. But it seems like such an odd behaviour when he hasn’t had a bad experience???

    When strangers go to stroke him, he will avoid this at all costs, darting away and ducking his head so that they don’t touch him. He has no problems with people he knows, very loving, soft and relaxed. He was naturally nervous as a puppy, but responded well to positive conditioning! Such as going for walks, this quickly resolved with lots of treats and play whilst out on walks!

    I have tried getting strangers to give him treats, but now he just goes up to people thinking they have treats, which just ends in the stranger trying to stroke him! Which he doesn’t want!

    It’s really making me sad that I have done something wrong and worried that I haven’t been able to resolve this nervousness.
     
  2. 4theloveoflabs

    4theloveoflabs Registered Users

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    I’m really curious to hear everyone’s responses! My lab is the exact same and he is now 2!
     
  3. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

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    Hi Skye, and welcome to the forum. Social confidence and freedom from nervousness in dogs is partly inherited and partly acquired. The process of acquiring that confidence as you probably know is called socialisation and there is a window of opportunity during which all puppies should be thoroughly socialised. Puppies that miss out on that window - which closes at around 13 weeks of age - are likely to be less confident throughout their lives than puppies that experience lots of different situations during that time.

    However, some dogs need far less socialisation or new experiences, to reach the same levels of confidence as other dogs due the their inherited temperament. While some dogs need far more socialisation. And of course traumatic experiences can also add more dimensions into the mix. So while it is likely that lack of socialisation is partly responsible for your dog's nervousness it may not be the only factor.

    The important thing is to focus on what you can do for Nelson going forwards, and it is possible to improve a dog's confidence even after a bad start in life. It does however take longer and require more effort and patience than socialising a puppy. And you'll need to be realistic about what can be achieved. Here are some tips and ideas to get you started: https://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-socialize-an-older-dog/
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered Users

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    Thank you for your reply! It’s reassuring to know that I can still help Nelson feel more confident and comfortable meeting new people.
    I have read on previous posts about the LAT training technique and we have been giving this a try with really good affects. But I also recognise that this something I will need to work on for a very long time, which is fine if it helps him feel more comfortable.
    Reading all these posts have been reassuring to know that I’m not the only one struggling at times!
     
  5. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    I have two show line Labs that both came with the 'highly sociable' gene - they both love people. To the extent that proofing against people is one of my top distractions for my younger dog.

    But, you know, she doesn't like strange men petting her. For some reason, she likes to decide which men she'll say hello to, which ones she won't, and she likes to approach them and not the other way round so she can decide.

    I don't think this is about her socialisation. I think it's just who she is, and I never worry about it but just make sure I protect her from men who might rush up to her and make sure they give her space to decide whether they are someone she might like.

    So by all means work on it so your dog is happier, but there is also an element of he is who he is....
     
  6. Tania

    Tania Registered Users

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    This is sounds exactly like my 6 month old puppy. We socialized him a ton during that "window" of time. He is still very nervous around men with beards, or "scruffy" looking people. At this time, we still take him out a bunch...act like people are no big deal and let him decide who he wants to meet. When we started to let him decide who he wants to meet, and act like bearded men are no biggie he slowly started to approach them himself. I feel like we made big progress the last two weeks. Hopefully it keeps getting better.
     
  7. Linda Flamm

    Linda Flamm Registered Users

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    My 2 year old English lab has been socialized from the start but recently he is growling at new people he meets, only when we are out and walking in our neighborhood which we have lived here for 20 years and I know everyone. Some neighbors just never met him before because they are not out often but they are very friendly toward him and he will watch them and growl even though I am happy to see them and talk with them for awhile. Not sure what is bringing on this behavior but he loves everyone and the kids in the neighborhood will even come to visit when they have not seen him in awhile.
     
  8. Diane Hess

    Diane Hess Registered Users

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    Check out a book called B.A.T. 2.0 by Grisha Stewart ( Behavior Adjustment Training 2.0)

    My Doberman had a real high drive for cats and squirrels .....this book has worked great for me for all types of encounters. The cats and squirrels in my neighborhood appear much happier ! LOL
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered Users

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    It’s reassuring to hear other people’s stories, so thank you for sharing!

    It’s been a few weeks since my original post and things seem to be settling down...less growling. I think if anything my own anxieties were making the problem worse! I’ve been working on accepting of the idea that, this is who he is and he will always be more reserved/nervous meeting new people.
    But at the same time I’m still working on some lat training! Which he loves, as he will do anything for a bit of chicken!!
     
    lucy@labforumHQ and Chewies_mum like this.
  10. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    That's great to hear, it sounds like you are doing a really good job with him :)
     
  11. Lucius Maximus

    Lucius Maximus Registered Users

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    Lucius had the same issue, except it came with barking and growling. He's 3 now and hasnt barked at anyone in almost 6 months. We started taking him out into busy places with lots of people. He also reads off my beagles behaviour an my beagle LOVES people. If little Pup likes the person, then Lucius follows suit. Pup is only 1 year old and had him since he was 8 weeks and since we had him Lucius has grown in confidence. Hope thid helps.
     
  12. 4theloveoflabs

    4theloveoflabs Registered Users

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    That’s amazing about Lucius! Mine does awesome in environments where there are lots of people. He seems to feel more threatened when there aren’t many people around and someone tries to approach us. He loves other dogs and seems to like people with dogs more. We will keep working with him.
     
  13. Claude

    Claude Registered Users

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    Hi. New here. Our 7-month old Lab, Nikosi, is exactly the same.
     

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