New Mom - SOS

Discussion in 'Introductions & Saying Hello' started by Mollie, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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    Hey everyone,

    My name is Mollie. My fiancé and I got a new yellow lab puppy (8 weeks old) this Sunday. Her name is Mali and she’s absolutely precious. Very sweet, a bit of a hunter, but also very snuggley. We love her so much.

    However, it’s been extremely difficult for us to adjust to having a puppy. Every day I feel more and more nostalgic about how peaceful our life was before we got Mali. How relaxing it was to come home and just plop on the couch and cuddle with each other. My fiancé and I have a wonderful relationship. Having Mali has really taken away a lot of time with each other and I’m feeling very upset and emotional about it. Im worried that I’ve ruined our great relationship because of our puppy. I feel horrible and guilty for feeling this way. Absolutely awful. But I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself it just isn’t worth it.

    We’ve wanted a puppy for sooo long that I’m shocked at myself for feeling this way.

    The biggest issue right now is getting her to sleep at night without crying. We’ve tried putting her in a gated area in the living room (which is where she spends most of her time) but she just won’t stop crying and banging around. I read today that it’s okay to leave her by our bed as we sleep so I think we will try that tonight. We were worried about I though because we don’t want her to become too attached.

    Any advice, anything at all, would be helpful!! I’m feeling extremely lost right now!
     
  2. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

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    Hi there, and welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear you are feeling upset. I know it's not much consolation but the 'puppy blues' is very common. The great news is that it usually clears up quite quickly with a little support and a listening ear. :)

    Bringing a dependent, noisy, bitey, messy little animal into your life is a huge upheaval so it isn't surprising that many of us find it quite a shock!

    Here is an article that may help you - https://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues/

    It's fine to let your new puppy sleep by your bed for a while, in fact most of us recommend it. Once she has settled in and isn't missing her first home, you'll be able to move her into her own sleeping place if you want to. Please do post up and let us know how you get on and how we can help.
     
  3. Jade

    Jade Registered Users

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    Welcome...
     
  4. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    Hi Mollie,

    A very warm welcome to the forum :)

    It's totally normal to feel this way when you bring something (or someone) life changing into your home! Don't worry, just do what you need to do to get through the first tricky days with your sanity in-tact. Bringing the pup into your bedroom while she settles in is fine.

    You can find lots of advice for coping with crying puppies in this article, and hopefully you'll have checked out Pippa's puppy blues article linked above for more reassurance on those early days.

    Let us know how you get along, and do try not to worry.
     
  5. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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    Thank you so much for the support guys, it really means a lot, seeing as none of my friends or co-workers really “get it”. They just think she’s so frickin adorable - which she is but....well you know. It’s a huge responsibility!

    She’s getting much better at sleeping through the night which is a huge relief. And she’s also being very social when we take her for walks, with people and dogs. Our long walks make her very sleepy so it’s been great the past couple days for her to be so calm.
     
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  6. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

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    It's great that she is sleeping better. :)

    Maybe hold off on the very long walks for a little while though, especially if it involves climbing or clambering up and down slopes.

    A popular rule of thumb is five minutes walking a day for each month of age. So that's ten minutes for an 8 week old pup. As far as I know there is no hard evidence yet to support this rule, but it's one that most vets/dog breeders subscribe to. It applies to formal walks rather than free play outdoors

    There is some evidence to suggest that climbing stairs in young puppies may be associated with joint problems later on though, so if you do decide to walk your puppy, it might be worth trying to avoid long sets of steps or steep slopes. The same study showed that exercise off leash outdoors was associated with a decrease in risk of hip dysplasia. So don't let the exercise rule stop you letting your puppy scamper about outdoors. :)
     
  7. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    It's funny, isn't it - they look super cute to everyone, but after a few days living with no sleep the effect does start to wear off :)

    That's fantastic news. A bit of sleep makes a big difference, as does getting out and about. Although as Pippa has said, just be a bit careful not to over work her joints while she's still tiny and growing :)

    Do keep updating us, and let us know if you've got any more worries, we're all happy to help :)
     
  8. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Registered Users

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    Hi Mollie and welcome, just wanted to say it is really really hard at first, even if you've always wanted a dog it can be a shock how dependent they are on you for everything. The biting, weeing all over the house and no sleep leave you feeling wretched and sometimes miserable and panicky... But it very quickly become so so much easier.

    As for your relationship you will bond together even more as you train your pup together and for the next 10 years have so many good times with your dog and have lovely long walks, it's brilliant. So try not to worry and enjoy your pup
     
  9. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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  10. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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    Guys, things are not going well. I have been alone with my puppy for about 4 hours now. I’ve fed her with a food puzzle. Then I played with her on the floor for about an hour. Ate dinner, then continued playing with her for another 45 minutes. She seemed still full of extreme energy so I took her on a walk, hesitantly because it’s snowing here in Chicago. She really seemed to enjoy the snow...right up until we got back home. Since the second we came back she’s been a terror. And by terror I mean, zooming around the house, attacking and crushing everything in her path, including her pee pads. Barking very loudly at me and whining a ton, as if to say “you don’t give me enough excercise!” Even tho I just spent nearly 2 hours straight making sure she kept moving! Is this normal?? Am I not giving her enough excercise still?! I’m so confused and trying so hard to do what people are telling me too but she seems to hate everything I try! She does not act this way when my fiancé is with her alone so I’m really feeling like she just hates me or that I’m doing something wrong. Please help me, please. I am about to tell my fiancé I will never watch her alone again if this is how it goes. Any advice would be helpful. SOS
     
  11. R Lewis

    R Lewis Registered Users

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    Hi Molly, I truly feel your struggle! And I think it is normal. When my puppy is really amped up, I found that playing with her or trying to drain her energy (a feat beyond the realm of human endurance anyway) was counterproductive. I just have to corral her into a "boring" space and ignore her until she calms down. I don't crate her or make her feel as if she's being punished or alone, I just let her know that I'm not going to entertain her when she's bouncing off the walls. Sometimes I'll try to redirect her with some training exercises or a walk (which you've already done). She also enjoys finding treats I've hidden around the room - that's a good game for transitioning from hyper to focused.

    I'd ask your fiance for suggestions, too! Good luck. :)
     
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  12. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Registered Users

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    Hi Mollie, my pup was like this with me also and I felt so upset and discouraged, particularly as she was as good as gold for my partner and appeared to'love'him much more!

    Now she's 10 months old and so much better, it takes time, patience and commitment but will pay off when you've got a calm, loving, obedient dog. Good luck
     
  13. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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    Thank you guys so much for the support. It honestly helps A TON to hear that her behavior is normal. (Did I mention that her full name is Maleficent?...she’s living up to it, all right.). Now looking back, I definetly wouldn’t that have entertained her crazy behavior as much as I did - I can see why that would hype her up even more. My fiancé is leaving for the weekend next week...leaving me with her for 3 days by myself. I really hope I can learn how to handle her better by then and have more patience. Thank you everyone for your help along the way!
     
  14. Mollie

    Mollie Registered Users

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    It’s good to know that I’m not the only one!! I cannot wait until she calms down - I hope this is all worth it!
     

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