4 months in and still feeling very overwhelmed!!

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by jenna978, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. jenna978

    jenna978 Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2019
    Messages:
    5
    My boyfriend and I rescued a (at the time) 5 month old yellow lab, Rosie. This was 4 months ago, and I am still feeling very overwhelmed. To give you some background, the first couple months were absolute hell, I was in tears pretty much everyday. The puppy blues are a real thing, and it was absolutely awful. I felt so terribly guilty for bringing this pup into our home, disturbing my cat's peace, and feeling like an absolute failure of a dog parent. We had to separate our pets entirely. The cat lives upstairs and she lives downstairs. We really want them to be able to hang out together but frankly were afraid that she would kill our cat. Not from aggression but from her jumping, mouthing, and her play.
    My life has felt out of order since the moment we got her. I work in a daycare during the day, and my boyfriend works nights, so I go from dealing with Rosie in the morning (which always calls for being woken up before my 7 am alarm) to the absolute chaos of my job, and coming home at night to chaos with Rosie. We recently have enrolled Rosie in Doggie Daycare, which has been a life saver, even though she's not typically exhausted when she comes home, her behavior is more manageable. Even her daycare says that she has a TON of energy and has trouble listening to them. However, I still get no time off, from dealing with her during the week and frankly I am jealous that my boyfriend gets time away from her ( he knows this). I feel that I am alway in the "on" mode from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep because of her. While I have grown to love her (not always like), but I still feel terribly overwhelmed, and that my entire life revolves around her, and I feel AWFUL. I don't want her to be a burden, because she is sweet and still learning and I feel awful feeling like this 4 months later and feel like I should be over the puppy blues by now. We aren't looking to get rid of her, I am just looking for some advice and wisdom from previous families that have gone through this.
     
  2. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2018
    Messages:
    679
    Hi there,it can be so overwhelming with a new pup and some are more boisterous or bitey than others. I felt like you do someday's. I wondered what i had done bringing this chewing,biting,naughty puppy to our home,especially when she was destroying our furniture,her bedding,whatever she could get paws on and we had desperately wanted a pup after losing our previous gorgeous lab of13 years.

    Now she is13 months and so much easier. I know it's hard now but it will pass and you will soon have a lovely calm dog.

    Maybe you can do something for you. I felt trapped at home and was the one doing all the feeding,training ect it was exhausting. I started to pop to a local coffee shop for a break,this made me feel more "normal" and able to cope.

    I promise it does get better, hang on in there
     
    Chocolate Willow and jenna978 like this.
  3. jenna978

    jenna978 Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2019
    Messages:
    5
    I appreciate your words so much. Thank you for the encouragement!
     
  4. Chewies_mum

    Chewies_mum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2018
    Messages:
    317
    First of all, it is amazing that you have chosen to rescue Rosie. So well done!

    We found 9 months the absolute worst age. They are boisterous, demanding and have no attention span. And our boy was loud! But as long as you stick with training and love it gets better. Our boy Chewie is 12 months old now, and while he is still energetic and over friendly when out and about, he is mostly calm and gentle at home.

    For specific training issues, getting help from a one-to-one trainer can be very helpful.

    And regarding daycare, is it possible that she is overtired after a full day? They can behave like naughty toddlers when overtired.
     
    jenna978 likes this.
  5. jenna978

    jenna978 Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2019
    Messages:
    5
    Thank you for your compliments and encouragement. It's so relieving to hear that other people have been in similar shoes that we are. She really is sweet, I just never truly understood how much work a puppy would be! Nothing could have prepared me for this.
    The one-on-one trainer is a really good idea that we hadn't thought about, I'll have to do some research! Typically, I've just been the one training her because she learns every trick that I've taught, she's very very smart and maybe she's not getting enough mental stimulation.
    "And regarding daycare, is it possible that she is overtired after a full day? They can behave like naughty toddlers when overtired."
    Absolutely! That's how we describe her after daycare, because she's been going all day and doesn't know how to stop, we try to stay calm after we pick her up, its pretty much dinner, relax, and bedtime for her. She only goes 2/3 days a week, which I think is enough for her right now.
     
  6. Jo Laurens

    Jo Laurens Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2018
    Messages:
    1,603
    Location:
    Jersey, Channel Islands
    In taking her on at 4 months and having her till 9 months, you are really weathering early adolescence right away and without any gradual warm-up and bonding from early puppy-days, so it's not surprising it is seeming difficult. However...

    I'm not sure daycare is a good idea for her or is helping her much - in fact, in terms of general arousal levels, it could be making things a whole lot worse even if it's just 2-3x a week.

    Getting rid of excess play through use of dog parks or daycare isn't a good idea at all - you need to turn to training and to try to use training which includes physical exercise as well as psychological. That's why I love gundog training, by the way - the dog is constantly running retrieves and using their brain AND body.

    Here are some links which should spell out why day care isn't a good idea:

    http://playwaydogs.com/we-need-to-s...DMK5WQ83Yab7_7_WByR6oHljCpEGHvdY68YrdV4O-2mEs

    https://paws4udogs.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/too-much-of-a-good-thing/

    This is at first glance about reactive dogs, but reactive dogs are reactive because they are also over-aroused - so it all applies pretty equally to over-aroused dogs: http://theiscp.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Linda-Cooper-Thesis-2a.pdf

    https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/blog/Dog-Parks-Are-Dangerous-21816-1.html

    An article I wrote: https://dogsnet.com/over-friendly-dog/
     

Share This Page