Still finding life with a lab difficult

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by Jacqueline Mckendrick, Mar 2, 2019.

  1. Jacqueline Mckendrick

    Jacqueline Mckendrick Penny and me

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2017
    Messages:
    146
    Location:
    Motherwell
    Hi everyone its been a while since my last post. Penny is 22months now and she is as gorgeous as ever. I have really struggled with this pooch. I have never experienced such a wide range of emotions with any other dog. I have been at my wits end wondering if she has some disorder making her more hyper than most. She very rarely settles..she can go for hours ( even after exercise ) pacing and trying to look for stuff to chew. She never gives me a minute to sit and she constantly wants my attention. She gets fun and exercise but basically its never enough. I totally understand why she goes crazy when i come in from a very long working day ( 13hrs and My dad and daughter look after her in the house ). She wants to show me she has missed me but this can go on for the rest of the night till i go to bed so i havent had time to unwind. I have went as far as discussing with my daughter the idea if rehoming her and my daughter is very upset. We both end up crying. I do get upset at the thought of giving her away and the effect on her but i have trully found it hard to bond with her as its so stressful at times. I know she is young but she is powerful and i am sporting more bruises from her constant pawing my arm. She sleeps in the kitchen at night and she doesn't make a sound. I dont want to keep putting her behind a gate as i dont want to punish her for just wanting my attention. Will she grow out of it. I know i haven't done intensive training so i take the blame too. I sometimes feel that it's like a child who is hyper and when they eventually sleep you dont care where it is just dont anyone make a sound to wake them :confused: Sorry this is a long winded rant and thanks ahead of any comments xx
     
  2. AlphaDog

    AlphaDog Registered Users

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Your mental health is more important than Penny. Keep in mind that it's not your child; it's a dog. Don't fret about rehoming. Do the right thing for you.
     
    Jo Laurens and Jeff Smith like this.
  3. Ruth Buckley

    Ruth Buckley Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2018
    Messages:
    337
    Youre not punishing her for putting her behind a gate, you're encouraging her to get the rest she needs. I've struggled with this, with my very needy 21 month old lab X collie. He will not rest if there is activity in the room with him No amount of exercise or training will make a difference, he just gets more mouthy, panty and humpy the more tired he gets. If he's in this mood I leave him alone in the kitchen and get on with my life. I think it's better to give him my undivided attention for walks, training etc then ignore him completely.
    Rehome by all means if you feel you can't cope, but it sounds like you have the support of your family and I bet you have good times too (probably not after a 13hour shift ). I love it when we have little triumphs ( not jumping on the supermarket delivery man, a perfect recall away from dogs on the beach, not to mention the fact he hasnt bitten me for nearly 4 months) and I think back to how he used to be and it keeps me going.
     
    Plum's mum likes this.
  4. Johnny Walker

    Johnny Walker Registered Users

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2016
    Messages:
    634
    Location:
    Eastern Canada
    Dogs don’t think being behind bars is a prison sentence like we do. they view it as a safe place Like a den. Also exercise begets exercise. The more they get the better shape the more they want and need. Train her to be lazy. Put her on her Matt and reward. Every time she goes to the mat by herself reward. Whenever she does something you like on her own, reward. A lot of people miss out on these opportunities.
     
    Saffy/isla, CamK and Plum's mum like this.
  5. WillowA

    WillowA Registered Users

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2018
    Messages:
    351
    Can you get a dog behaviourist to come to the house and assess the dog.
    We rehomed a spaniel that was said to be hyper and would knock the kids flying.
    She was taken for 1 to 2 hour walks a day and had access to the garden.
    As long as she had her walks she would settle in the house.
    Not sure what is going on with your dog maybe a behaviourist will be able to see the problem and help you out.
    Don't give up yet.
     
  6. WillowA

    WillowA Registered Users

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2018
    Messages:
    351
    Do you give her a frozen kong.
    Do you hide treats around the garden and inside.
    Do play fetch inside and out.
    It sounds like she needs mental stimulation as well as physical.
    Try some training exercises with her to see if this calms her down.
    My 5 month old gets hyper in the mornings after her breakfast and we have to play with her for an hour until she has had enough she then lies down and settles with her toys on her own.
    She plays with my son when he gets home from work retrieving a ball in the house.
    She goes for half hour walk at 1pm sometimes a short walk 10 minutes at 4 pm for the toilet as she is reluctant to poop in the garden then again at 10pm for 10 minutes.
    She gets hyper about 7pm and wants to out but only wants to play and eat my plants so she is supervised in the garden.
    She settles then until it all starts again the next day.
    I am hoping she settles more in summer in the garden when we are out there and the door is left open so she wander in and out.
     
  7. Johnny Walker

    Johnny Walker Registered Users

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2016
    Messages:
    634
    Location:
    Eastern Canada
    Also remind yourself that labs really start to settle in around the age of three. Hang in there a few more months. It’s worth it.
     
  8. FinnOfSoCal

    FinnOfSoCal Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    160
    Have you crate trained?
    I would hire a behaviorist or trainer to get you started in the right direction.
    In the meantime, you have to be kind of mean mommy with her (e.g., don't be mean to her, just don't give in to her demands). Dogs do what works for them. It seems to be working for her - don't let it work for her anymore. Give her a time out if she's acting rambunctious. If she protests or howls, so be it.
    You're not punishing her for wanting attention; you are being pack leader and giving her the rules of living in YOUR home.
    Dogs love structure and discipline - it gives them a framework of how to act. Right now it sounds like she gets to do whatever she wants, which is a recipe for a pushy dog that won't leave you alone.
    Don't think of it as punishing her - think of it as giving her the structure so she can live with you and everyone is happy :)
     
  9. Ruth Buckley

    Ruth Buckley Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2018
    Messages:
    337
    I think you're right @FinnOfSoCal, and it's largely a question of semantics, but I hate the concept of 'pack leader' ( and I believe the science behind the idea is pretty dodgy too). Anyway, I can't be pack leader because I'm not a dog. I see myself as a teacher, helping my dog learn the rules of human society, without which his life would be pretty miserable.
     
    AngelConradie likes this.
  10. Michael A Brooks

    Michael A Brooks Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Messages:
    1,684
    Location:
    Blackmans Bay, Australia
    Hi @Ruth Buckley

    The academic that put forward the idea of how wolves interact has disowned his own work. It was fundamentally flawed. Dodgy is too soft.

    Dog behaviourists don't use the term packs to refers to the behavioural characteristics of dogs. It doesn't help that the collective noun for unrelated dogs is pack. The word is now tainted with that faulty research. We really need a new word in order to break free of that literature.

    You are also correct re your role.. You can display leadership. Showing the dog how to succeed. Being consistent and fair.
     
    Ruth Buckley likes this.
  11. Ruth Buckley

    Ruth Buckley Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2018
    Messages:
    337
    Thanks @Michael A Brooks .
    I was so happy when I learnt that all that top dog stuff was nonsense - almost as happy as when I read that margarine was more unhealthy than butter - it had never made any sense to me.
     
  12. Michael A Brooks

    Michael A Brooks Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Messages:
    1,684
    Location:
    Blackmans Bay, Australia
    @Ruth Buckley I agree. But I am saddened that individuals are still preaching dominance. And more so, that I had many years ago listened and followed a dog instructor's advice, failing to follow immediately my instinct that it was fundamentally flawed.
     
  13. Sarge Brown

    Sarge Brown Registered Users

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31
    Jacquline

    I can’t agree enough with the idea of consulting a behaviorist and perhaps engaging one to work with you, after you have Penny assessed by her vet. My 26 mos old lab started showing reactiveness to some dogs while leash walking. After a two hour consultation, some video of my dog and I together, my trainer (behaviorist) had such good suggestions and I have been implementing them with Sarge. We even discussed my daughter’s German Shepherd and her extreme reactiveness. Did you know there are some prescription drugs that are used only situationally for a highly reactive dog? Not like Prozac or Valium, which are longer term and take longer to act, but others that are short term and not necessary for long term use. Not that I am suggesting this, just pointing out something I didn’t know. In Sarge’s case just changing some of my behaviors have helped him to improve. Unfortunately there are only 74 Veternarian Behaviorists i could find in the US, but there are trainers/behaviorists with loads of education and experience available. Research carefully and good luck with Penny.

    PS—my behaviorist has included my husband as well so that Sarge is handled the same way by either of us. So if you go this route your daughter and grandfather may have to agree to the methodology as well as consistently practice it with Penny.

    She looks like a lovey Lab.
     
  14. Sherron

    Sherron Registered Users

    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    I too have one that I find myself in the same situation. Willow is more than I can handle most of the time, and have been told as well that she will "outgrow" this. Not sure I can wait that long! I adopted her as a playmate for my pyr puppy same age... they both turned 1 in February. The pyr is much more laid back and well behaved than Willow is. She is just a lunatic! I think she feels as though, because of the other dogs, she has to push and shove for attention. The other dogs are old and very docile. Just not sure what to do with her. I have thought about taking her back to the shelter where she came from but really don't believe in rehoming. I have had a number of dogs as well as rescue and foster them and she is one of the worst I have ever had! Rescued a couple of old lab girls a few years ago... they were two of the best dogs I have ever had. Have another black lab here that was a foster failure... she is wonderful though a little pushier than i would like. Willow is just too much sometimes... I keep telling myself that if I just hang in there long enough it will be okay... Lol. Not so sure though.
     
  15. AngelConradie

    AngelConradie Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2017
    Messages:
    256
    Location:
    South Africa
    Perhaps it is time to consider rehoming her :(
    If you dread seeing her, or having her near you, and you feel you haven't bonded - its not likely to change unless you put in some serious one-on-one work with the two of you, even if you get a behaviourist in to help you.
    Some Labs are just more than others, and they can be a handful even when they have a chilled nature.
    Strongs.
     
  16. Jo Laurens

    Jo Laurens Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2018
    Messages:
    1,603
    Location:
    Jersey, Channel Islands

Share This Page